A second chance at LoveLife
by MotorcycleChik
Summary: A story of two people finding Love and A reason to live again. Filip and Aella. Aella is the hidden Goddaughter of the Teller's that no one knew about. Now at the age of 28, she returns home from 15 long years as an Army Sniper. Please read and review. First SOA story.
1. Chapter 1

Preface: So this story is something that literally just popped in my head one day while I was sleeping. Jax teller has an older God sister that no one knows of at Teller Morrow or in the Sons except for Jax, Gemma, Clay, and Bobby. She has been away in the Army for the last 15 years, and has decided its time to come home. How will everyone react when this Goddaughter comes home, will she fit in with the guys, will she get a second chance at life now that the military has literally taken everything?

Unfortunately I OWN NOTHING, All of SOA characters and place settings belong to kurt sutter. However I do own Aella Teller. She's mine and im excited about her and Chib's future life. Can't wait for reviews.

Chapter 1

Aella

I walked out of the shower, feeling like an old and beaten down warrior with nothing left in life. With a towel around my waist I turned to look at the bathroom mirror and wiped the steam from it. Staring into my reflection had become something painful for me, no longer seeing the woman i wanted to see, but the soldier the Army had molded me into. When I tried looking into my bright blue eyes, all I could see reflecting were the hundreds of lives i had taken down through my scope. Each time i took in my reflection anger and hatred for myself and the Army would follow. So many memories, and so much death, maybe it was a good thing i was going home.

I stood at 5'8'' with dark red hair down to the small of my back, eyes bluer than the sky or ocean, and a muscular yet curvy body. Today I would wear my uniform for the last time, my digi-greens had the spec-ops badge proudly over my left front pocket, my rifle slung down my back in its case, taken apart, as well as my worn boots. The uniform definitely wasn't flattering but i had never cared about that. After getting fully dressed I braided my long hair back and grabbed my bags. Throwing them in the back of the 2014 black Silverado I had bought when arriving in LA, finishing with getting checked out of the hotel and jumped in the truck, taking a deep breath before starting the rest of my journey home. Charming California was about a 3 hour drive from here and I hoped to god it would be long enough to calm my ever busy mind, half of me wanted to just stay at the hotel and get myself together before making an appearance, but the other half missed my godbrother and godparents, them being the only family I had ever known. I also missed Bobby to death, having only kept in touch by writing him and Gemma every now and then, when deployments had allowed it. However, no one knew I was coming home.

After allowing myself to unwind a little, 3 hours seemed to speed by, as well as the Welcome to Charming sign that just passed. Taking a deep breath I could feel a stomach ache forming, always a sign I was stressing, but continued on anyways. Almost allowing a nervous breakdown to take over, as I entered the small town, U2's Beautiful day came on and a huge sigh of relief came over me as my entire body unwound, and I realized this was home and I definitely needed this.

Pulling into the Teller Morrow lot, I noticed one of two things, all the sons were there but must be in church due to the outside of the garage being deserted, and the second was that there was a play pin over in the small courtyard I didn't remember being there. Wondering who had the kids, I started to walk over the Gemma's office when a small, slightly bald fellow with an incredibly white smile and fake fingers walked over to me.

"Can I help you miss? All of our guys are busy right now but I'm sure I can get someone else to assist you."

I almost laughed as he took in my scar on my face, as well as my spec ops badge and uniform, poor man looked ridiculously intimidated but still attempted to keep his smile. Being used to this reaction I just shook my head and replied "I'm here for Gemma, my truck is fine. Is she here or is she out?"

"She is out I'm afraid, your name is?"

"Name's Aella, and I'll just see Jax and Clay then when they get out of Church. Yes I know what you guys are and how it operates, I'm family if you want to warn them I'm here." With that I walked back over to my truck, leaned against it and lit my cigarette, chuckling to myself a little as I watched the poor man trying to wrap his brain around what I had said and finally scurry off.

Church took another 15 minutes, of which I was happy to chain smoke to my heart's desire. When I heard the door open and I watched as all of the sons started to filter over by the picnic tables with cigarettes, others walking straight to the garage. Then I saw my godbrother and godfather. With my cigarette still lit and hanging from my mouth I let rip a secret whistle we had as kids. Catching my breath I watched as he and clay both stopped midstride and finally located me with their eyes. Both sets of eyes widened unbelievably as every one else in the Teller Morrow lot stopped to watch what happened next. I almost laughed at how cliché it all was, this would have been the perfect surprise homecoming a soldier would want.

Finally Jax and Clay seemed to break out of whatever shock they had been in, Jax taking off at full sprint as I started mine. As kids we used to have this routine and I wasn't sure he remembered it until we both stopped a foot away and started to circle each other, staring each other down.

"Awe little brother you know I've grown up since the last time ya tried this shit."

He laughed and popped the knuckles in one hand, "scared you can't take me anymore Aella?"

I crouched down a little lower in my steps shifting my weight and waiting for the next move. "Just wouldn't want to beat your ass in front of your entourage." I laughed as he went for me trying to grab my leg, side stepping I slapped his back as I pivoted around and slid his legs out from underneath him. When he landed on the ground I already had my boot on his neck and laughed as he smiled.

However as kids we definitely didn't have the reaction I was dealing with right now. I looked up as I heard at least 20 safety levers being flipped off and saw that I was staring down everyone's pistols except Clay and Jax. Apparently I was still the Teller Morrow Secret. Letting out a sigh I hated that I still carried from that realization, I stepped off hands in the air and just walked away lighting another cigarette, getting the farthest picnic table I waited for my Brother and Father.

Jax walked over having a word with the guys with Clay.

"Aella, baby, why didn't you tell us you were coming home?" Clay sat next to me lighting a cigar. "Gemma is out but she will be thrilled when I tell her."

"Yeah sis, what the hell is up with just showing up, especially after 15 years. We could have had the guys set up a party and everything." I looked in his eyes and he knew exactly why that hadn't happened. Because I couldn't stand anyone celebrating my presence, much less homecoming from everything I had done. I didn't want attention just family.

"Sorry, full of surprises I guess." I couldn't stand the curious glances anymore, everyone of them burned my skin, especially my scar. I looked up at my Godfather, "Dad can we please go to church? I'm not feeling well and want some privacy with my family?"

He nodded and stood with Jax, both still looking me up and down as if I were a ghost. You get used to that being in the military for so long as well. Walking behind them Clay opened the door for the clubhouse but held it open as Jax and I walked through. When I looked back I noticed he was still looking out across the yard and all of the sons were looking at me. Shaking my head I followed Jax into Church taking my chair next to the VP . I remember them building this table, remember how excited Jax and I were. We both always wanted to be a Son, but because of my obligations as the adopted kid and Jax as the only son it turned out as was expected.

Jax took the VP chair next to me and just looked at me. I could tell my miserable attempts at hiding my brokenness wasn't working on him, he had always been able to read me.

"Aella, look at me." I turned and met his eyes, he looked sad and understanding, I hated it. "What's wrong? Your hiding something and I can tell, you know you can't hide anything with me so out with it."

Sighing, I knew I might as well tell him, maybe he can run interference between Gemma and Clay for me. "I'm broken brother, the war broke me. I had to get out before I had nothing left in my soul to save. So I came home, no I don't want to talk about what happened, the scars will have stories eventually and I will fill you guys in on them. But other than that I just want to start a new life with my family."

He lit a cigarette and smiled. "I know all about just wanting time with family and being broken sis. Look you know your going to get the curious glares and the sweetbutts and croweaters are going to talk. Ill fill the boys in about you at church tonight, we have another meeting. For right now why don't you move out to Piney's Cabin?"

"No thanks, I already found a cabin a little out of town, I got most of the my furniture sent over from Germany. I think I just need some time." I wrote the address down and told him to send Gemma, I needed air and I needed it now. Storming out of the Clubhouse and storming past Clay giving a speech to the sons gathered in the garage he stopped.

"AELLA!? Where are you going?!" he started to walk over but Jax yelled telling him to let me go.

I just looked back at Clay and Jax and pleaded with my eyes, slowly pulling out of Teller Morrow. Trying to calm myself, knowing it was the PTSD working that no one had done anything. Knowing that I just overwhelmed myself. Getting to my Cabin and looking around I fell in love with the simplicity of it all. I had already ordered a bunch of 2x4's and the rest would be brought by oswald. I was going to build my Car shed and add a couple of Horse stables. It was my project I knew I would end up doing the second I was home, hopefully to help with settling back into civilian life. I walked through my door and realized how quiet it was, dropping everything on the floor I shook my head. Walking to my room and laying on my unmade bed, I didn't realize I was exhausted until I passed out, still in uniform.

Filip-

Sitting at the picnic table and watching as Clay and Jax spoke together, I smoked my third cigarette since seeing the uniformed woman. She was clearly a well hidden Teller Morrow secret, not that it should surprise me, they were full of them. But what I didn't expect was to understand her reaction, to almost know more about her than she realized just from the uniform. I knew that being a female and being spec-ops hadn't been easy. I also realized that it took a moment to put a word to what I thought of her, but when I did, it worried me. I thought she was beautiful, scars, uniform, and all. After getting a pretty good look at her, I knew she must hate the scar on her face as much as I hated mine. But the scar made her look all the more beautiful, her eyes were something I had never seen, and her hair, all played into the fact that the only thought I had was that she was beautiful. I wanted to know more about her, but knew that the look she carried when talking to Jax was one I knew all too well, she was a broken woman. She was broken and she came home to start over.

Thinking about that for awhile and getting lost in my own thoughts I didn't realize that Jax had come over and sat next to me. When he noticed that everyone was out of earshot he looked at me with a very troubled expression.

"Im going to ask a favor brother?" He had such a serious look on his face I couldn't even make a smart remark and just nodded. "Its Aella, you don't know her but the whole club is about to find out that there is a very complicated and messy story to her, but short story is she is my godsister and Clay and Gemma raised her before shipping her to boot camp. Im worried about her, shes seriously messed up, which shouldn't surprise me. Can you help her with PTSD?"

"Jackie Boy, I haven't been around PTSD in aw'ile now. Except for my own that is. But I can definitely tell ye she's got it. I recognize it from my own experience, the look she 'ad on her face. what do ye want me ta do?"

"I don't know, can you keep an eye on her. Don't push yourself onto her she will know I sent you. She doesn't need any added stress from someone trying to be overbearing. She obviously doesn't need protecting either. Just stay at a distance and try to become friends with her. She won't let anyone in unless someone tries."

Jax hung his head, and after finishing his cigarette walked away. I just sat a couple more minutes pondering over the beauty that was clearly haunted by memories and guilt. I didn't understand the need i had to help a stranger, even though now I knew she was part of the family, I would have to work carefully to try and help her. Thinking of what could possibly be done, and almost giving up when suddenly an idea hit me. Rushing over to Jax I pulled him aside.

"Listen lad, the lassie needs something to keep her busy for awhile and she is going ta need a companion. She like dogs?" Jax just chuckled and think popped himself against the head.

"Of course, she always wanted a great dane. Lets go check out the pet store down the street."

Jax and I hopped on our bikes and started them up. Clay walked over to Jax before we could take off, I noticed that Jax was filling him in on our idea and Clay just looked back at me shaking his head with a smile and nodded. With that we took off down Charming to find the pet store and hopefully a companion for Aella.

The pet store had many options for Great Dane pups surprisingly, Jax was looking down at the other kennel with the older selection of pups while I was checking the newest. When I looked over to see if he had found one he shook his head and raised his hands in defeat making his way over to me. I looked back down trying to find one that caught my attention when my pant leg started to bob. Looking down I found a small black puppy with white paws chewing at my pant leg while attempting to growl at the same time. Bending down I picked him up and noticed he had straight silver eyes and a white tipped ear, I knew this was the one. Turning to find Jax laughing at the whole experience and shaking his head in agreement we paid for the pup and made our way out to the bikes. Placing the pup securely in my saddlebag and nodded to Jax I followed him to what I assumed was Aella's house.

About 25 minutes later we pulled off into a dirt road right outside of charming and started down what seemed like a very windy and long driveway. Taking in my surroundings I had to admit she had nice taste, I didn't even know this place had existed and I had been looking for something like this when I settled for my apartment. Finally reaching the house and killing the bike motors I took in how quiet it seemed. Looking to the right of the cabin I noticed her truck was parked next to a large stack of 2x4's, with a barely there smile I realized she had already decided on a project.

After gathering the pup and walking up the steps, Jax knocked on the door. When no answer came he looked at me with raised eyebrows until I heard a muffled moan, when Jax turned to me with a questioned look I handed him the pup and motioned for him to wait outside. Opening the unlocked front door I could hear more sounds, instead of moans as I originally thought,I realized they were muffled groans. Reaching the bedroom door, I had already reached the conclusion she was asleep and having a nightmare. From my own experience shaking her awake was a horrible idea, so instead I said her name.

"Aella." She didn't wake just rolled over, giving me a better view of her. Clutching her stomach, face twisted in pain and sweat on her forehead I decided to hell with it. Shaking her shoulder at arms length ready for what ever was to happen I said her name again.

Her eyes snapped open and she rolled out of bed in one fluid motion drawing her weapon from god only knows where and trained it on me breathing heavily.

"Aella, my name is Filip. I'm part a the Sons, Jax and I are here. You're safe we jus' brought a present." Raising my hands and silently praying to myself, I had never been more nervous staring down the barrel of a gun than I was at his moment.

"Aella, lower the weapon lass." I watched as she took a few more gulps and almost let out a sigh or relief when she did.

"That was the dumbest move someone has made with me in a long time."

"Trust me lass, it wasn't my finest moment. Jax is waitin' outside." She just looked me up and down and finally nodded. Walking past me she yelled out for Jax to come inside.

Aella-

When I finally calmed down enough to realize the man standing before me was in fact a son I took in his features and realized he was being genuine and had a look of concern and understanding on his face. This puzzled me, as well as the fact that I actually took the time to admire his appearance even after being startled from my nightmare.

He was tall, 6'1'' maybe, with long dark brown hair that had streaks of grey as well as a long beard, a gasglow smile which only added to the hidden dimples I could tell were on his face. His eyes were piercing dark brown almost black and he was obviously muscular. He was handsome to say the least, but with the look of concern and understanding I had an uneasy feeling with him.

Nodding my head and walking past him I took in his scent of oil, tobacco, and some sort of spice that made my heart flutter a little. Almost shaking my head in disgust from the reaction, knowing this was not the time to start developing feelings for someone, I ignored the flutter and moved on.

When Jax entered as I walked into the kitchen to make coffee, I turned to look at him with a look of disapproval until I noticed the bundle in his arm. The 15 year old girl that had been hidden for as long as I could remember surfaced and a huge smile broke on my face as I took in the Great Dane pup in his arms.

"Oh my, Jackson you didn't." He smiled too noticing my relaxing posture and smile.

"Oh but I did A. He is all yours. Everyone deserves a homecoming present. Especially my Godsister." He held the bundle out to me and I took it from his arms. Feeling my heart swell I brushed my finger from his forehead to his nose. The pup could sense my unease with my life and my broken heart and soul. In response he nuzzled my hand as if he knew his purpose was to save me, if only from myself. Placing him in an empty box I took ahold of Jax in a hug and thanked him.

"Surprisingly it wasn't me who came up with the idea, it was him." Looking where he was pointing I noticed Filip standing in the corner watching it all. Shocking both Filip and myself, I walked over and hugged him, thanking him as well.

He stood dumbfounded for a second until he wrapped me up in his arms. After hugging for a brief moment longer than would seem normal I stood back and cleared my throat.

"You boys want coffee?"

"Nah, we gotta head back to the clubhouse, church in about an hour. Maybe I'll stop by after. I'm sure Gemma will be by soon."

I nodded and thanked them both as Jax walked over to me. "Sis, I know you ain't right, and I know you don't want help, but please open up to someone. I'll be by later. I love you and im so happy your home."

"Me too bro. Me too."

With that he left, after following him with my eyes I noticed Filip still looking at me with a different look on his face than the one before. He nodded after making eye contact and left as well.

After sipping the coffee for a couple of minutes, and after hearing the motorcycles take off, I realized I had felt something I hadn't in a very long time in Filip's arms. Safe.


	2. Chapter 2

Filip-

On the ride back to the clubhouse, his mind took a course of its own, thinking about one thing or one person, Aella. The way she felt in his arms had been a shock, he hadn't expected already to feel the need to protect and help her so soon. Now that he knew the truth about how much of a part of the SAMCRO family she actually was, it made some sort of sense. She was still a stranger though, and the way he felt towards her was anything but that towards a stranger. He couldn't help but notice that she was deeply troubled from her time in the ARMY. His curiosity had only been peaked more after her reaction to his waking her, as well as her need for the puppy and how quickly it helped in relaxing her. Questions keep popping in his head, what did she do for spec-ops, how long had she been in, how come she hadn't visited SAMCRO before, why did Clay and Gemma as well as Jax keep her a secret for so long, and how did she become a part of the SAMCRO family. All of these questions he hoped Jax and Clay would answer at church tonight. But he knew one thing for sure, he wanted to protect and help this woman, she had worked her way into his mind after only a couple of hours in meeting and she didn't look to be leaving it any time soon.

The Clubhouse was quiet when Jax and I pulled into the lot, seeing Gemma's car I figured Aella would have company any time now. As if reading my thoughts the clubhouse door opened and Gemma came over to Jax.

"She is really here? Where is she, I have to see her."

"Mom, shes really different. Please be gentle and try not to overwhelm her, the war changed her a lot. She also has some scars, one on her face that looks nasty. Just to warn you so you don't gawk like I know you would. Here is the address, Clay and I are calling church now to fill in the guys." Jax handed Gemma a piece of paper and she threw her arms around him, a tear escaping her eye.

"I'm just in complete shock, I can't believe she came home."

"Me too mom, me too."

Gemma left as we walked into the clubhouse, everyone already inside of church waiting for Jax and i. As I took my seat and Jax took his, clay slammed the gavel signifying the start of the meeting. Clay cleared his throat and looked around, when his eyes landed on Jax who nodded in confirmation, Clay began.

"As I'm sure you all have questions on what you witnessed I'd like to just start at the beginning and Jax and I will answer questions after." Everyone including myself nodded, I lit a cigarette and exhaled.

"The female you saw earlier is my Goddaughter and Jax's Godsister. We have no clue whose child she was previously, as one day after the garage and clubhouse has just been built she was dropped at the garage doors in a basket as a 10 month old baby. I took the baby home to Gemma who decided we would make this our child. She was clearly starving and took awhile to nurse back to health. Aella Teller is her name. When Gemma became pregnant with Jax only two years later I decided she would become my daughter as Gemma and John would be busy with Jax. Bobby took her in and I and Bobby raised her as our own. However after John's death and everything that followed she and Gemma were reunited with Jax. They were raised together until she was 12 and Jax was 10, when Gemma and I decided that she couldn't be kept a secret anymore and had to be sent somewhere. My distant cousin was a drill sergeant in the Army and took her as a cadet in boot camp. 3 years later she was a part of spec-ops as a female sniper. She has been in the military for 15 years and she has never made contact except for the occasional letter. Neither I, Jax, Gemma, or Bobby know what she went through and she clearly has some PTSD issues. She is a part of the SAMCRO family and knows everything about us, including up to date issues. She will most likely become an asset with her particular skill set and I want each and everyone of you to treat her as a sister. Is that understood?" Looking around everyone nodded. " Bobby I will give you the address so that you may visit afterwards. The table is now open for questions."

Juice spoke up first, "If she has PTSD I can pull up her military file for you and Jax to look at so that you can have a better understanding with what she went through, it wouldn't be the first time I've hacked military databases and it could help with trying to help her settle down."

Clay looked at Jax who shook his head. "No, she will tell us in her own time and I don't want anyone pressuring her to, even you Bobby."

Bobby spoke next, "She was always a private child, I think she has always been affected by being adopted and not knowing who her parents were."

I spoke up next, "Listen brothers. She is seriously upset from the war. PTSD is a tricky diagnosis and you 'ave to approach it wit caution. Listen give her some space until she starts to come around the clubhouse. Don't stop by without having someone notify her because I promise she is armed to the teeth." With a sigh and a slow exhale of smoke I looked at each and every questioning face. "The only thing we can do for 'er is ta be there when she ask. Okay?"

After everyone's mumbles of understanding and a still questioning glance on everyone's face I looked to Clay and asked the biggest question on my mind.

"Why ye keep 'er a secret afta all these years?"

Clay shook his head. "I didn't think she would ever come home, half the time Gemma and I would even wonder if she was still alive.".

I nodded and looked away getting lost in my own thoughts, this woman was a mystery and a deep one at that. She had been through and hell and back by the looks of it and if she was as good of a sniper as I was thinking she had killed, A lot. Her conscious would slowly eat at her at having a normal life while her fellow soldiers continued fighting. There was one thing Filip was certain of, he would keep an eye on her.

Aella-

After a couple more cups of coffee and running to the store for pup supplies, I decided its time to retire the uniform, for good. Stripping piece by piece and looking at myself the entire time in the full length mirror of my closet door, I started to quietly cry. As each part of the uniform was dissembled and taken off, carefully placed in a pile in the closet, I took in each and every scar. I had 3 bullet wound scars as well as 10 stab marks all covering my torso and back. My left arm had a long scar from the armpit to my forearm from a convoy hit. Most of which I covered with tattoos. Both my arms were full sleeves. My back had a very distinctive burn mark from being tortured when I was captured 3 years ago, also attempted to be covered by a large celtic cross and celtic angel wings. My neck had scattered scars from shrapnel and of course the major and most haunting scar on my face. Tracing it from eyebrown to my lip, I trembled naked, feeling vulnerable and anxious. Remembering how I had gotten the scar last year.

-flashback-

_Her unit had gotten wind of a high value target hiding out in their safe house approximately 100 klicks from camp. As they all suited up she could feel a nervous anticipation and had a really bad feeling about this time. You could only play with fire for so long was their motto. Her and the boys had always been in it to the death but this time maybe she would get her wish. _

_As they pulled out of camp and the CO waved goodbye the jokes started and the music was raised as some of them started to sing themselves silly. It was always like this, to avoid the somber what if's they would joke and sing their way to their missions loving the brotherhood and fun it entailed. This time her and her spotter Max were quiet silently passing a message between each other, "This time wouldn't end well but we would have each others back."_

_Pulling up to the start point, and knowing the rest was on foot we all grabbed out gear and set our coms up. Checking the coms was easy and few more jokes passed as we trekked through the woods to the deserted cabin. With max and I in the rear taking a slightly different route to set up our over watch ,as the assignment for us. When we found our spot I climbed my tree and looked over to the next to see Max had made it to his height as well. Setting my self comfortably and getting the rifle ready I looked through the scope and took a few deep breaths._

_"Hows it looking up there A?" _

_"Looks clear, I spot two maybe three outside watchers all armed with ak's and a guard dog chained to a kennel to the left of the house about 40 feet from the front door, watch out guys or one of you will be missing a chunk of your ass." _

_Hearing small laughter I saw my guys making the approach from the rear. Suddenly one of them stepped on a mine and it blew, three of my team were wounded or in pieces. The unit coming from the front raided after that, in anger for their friends, taking down the overwatch was easy business and i took the dog out as well as the last overwatch. When they breeched the door the house blew taking out the rest of my team. My mouth fell open as I watched their bodies fly and could hear them blow on the other end of the line. Looking to Max I went to climb down from the tree knowing we were left alone now. I still had not located the target and coms were down, when I reached the bottom of the tree about 10 men were waiting. Grabbing my rifle from my hand I watched as they had Max kneel in front of me. As they interrogated max and got nothing from him even after beating him to a pulp they decided to use me as his weakness. My brothers in arms had made me and oath, to never allow this to work. Max looked me in the eye as they proceeded to beat me. After the beating and gathering my breath one of them took out an oddly shaped knife that had a curved end to it. Holding my head he sliced me from eyebrow to my lips and laughed as max cried out. When max shook his head and I mirrored the movement they shot him in the back of the head and I watched as my best friend for the last 10 years was killed. _

_About 15 minutes later while they were taking me somewhere their convoy was raided and I was saved. That was my last mission, and with no brothers left and nothing but a numbness left in me, I went home. _

End flashback-

That was the worst night of my life, I'lll never forget the feeling I had as each one of my brothers had been taken from me that night.

Stepping into the shower and letting the spray wash away the memories I started to wash my body. When the long shower was over and I attempted at feeling a little more human I dressed in a t-shirt and sweats.

As I was walking into the kitchen to check up on my pup, who I haven't named yet, I heard a car pull in. Running to my room and grabbing my baretta I walked to the door, safety off and watched as Gemma looked around. Putting the Baretta on the counter I opened the door as she walked up the steps.

After pausing and taking me in, every tattoo and every scar, she started to cry and I pulled her into a long awaited hug.

After about 5 minutes of holding each other, and Gemma trying to stop crying, we broke apart and I led her into the kitchen. She took a seat at the island as I made up two cups of coffee. She watched in silence apparently still trying to understand that I was home and not going anywhere.

Putting the cup in front of her and leaning against the counter across from her I sipped my cup waiting for her to speak.

"Sorry baby girl I just never thought I'd see you again, much less see you in your own house in charming. Its all overwhelming for me."

"I know momma, it is for me too. Its been too long and I'm sorry for that but I really did think I was doing the right thing by helping you and Clay keep the secret by staying away."

"Im just so glad you made it back to us and are deciding on staying."

I nodded and chuckled, "I may not be whole but im here and Iove you guys so much. It takes a lot to admit but I need my family back and I need to start another life outside of the military. I need to rebuild and start new."

She took a moment to look me in the eyes and really take in my appearance, which was red eyed and tired with a tent of defeat. "Baby, I know you wont talk about it yet, but you know im here right?"

"I know momma, and its all I can ask for. I'm so glad you guys are willing to put up with me again, I know it wasn't always easy keeping the secret and raising me at the same time, and I'll be forever grateful for your decision to send me to Clay's cousin in the Army. It really gave me a meaning and a purpose I could work with. But like I said it was time to come home and start over, I really wanted to be whole and be able to save myself before it was too late."

Gemma sighed and stood walking over to me and pulling me into another hug, which caused me to release another sigh I was holding, it was good to be home. I missed them all and then it hit me, now I have another type of brotherhood to be apart of.

"Momma, how is the club , you know with me and stuff?"

"I have no clue, didn't stick around after the meeting, they were just starting it when I hightailed it here after grabbing your address from Jax."

I laughed and she laughed along with me, "Ever one for patience momma aren't you."

She shrugged and went to sit on my couch, looking around she noticed the bundle in my box. "I'm guessing this was Jax?"

"Actually yes but apparently it was Filip's idea." With the mention of Filip she looked startled and her head leaned to the side.

"Filip huh?" I realized I was missing something and gave her a questioning glance.

"That's the name he gave, why?"

"He hasn't had someone call him Filip since his ex wife, I call him that but that's because I don't like the nicknames and never has. Everyone at the club calls him Chibs."

I shook my head as I realized what that nickname stood for. "I'll never call him that, his scars shouldn't be the cause of his nickname like that, and I can't believe he is ok with it."

"I think he has just gotten used to it baby girl, they called him that the first day he came to SAMCRO and ever since. Its nice to know you are already making friends." I took in her expression and shook my head raising my hands in defeat in front of me.

"Please momma let me have a year of silence before you go matchmaking on me okay?"

She laughed and I started to join her as I heard the sound of a lone motorcycle coming down the driveway. Grabbing my weapon and looking out the window I noticed bobby shutting the engine off and taking in the cabin. Apparently I was going to have to get used to the fact that people would be checking the cabin out regularly. Sliding the weapon in the waistband of my sweats against my lower back I looked back at Gemma guessing she already knew who it was. My Uncle had come to finally see for himself.

Opening the door as he started up the steps his eyes met my face and he broke into a frown.

"Oh, A. What has happened to my girl?" he grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I laid my head on his shoulder and took in his comforting scent. Out of everyone I knew and called family Bobby was the closest to me, never knew why but when he took me in, I knew everything would turn out ok.

Sliding out of his embrace I gave a half smile and looked at him, he had definitely aged and his hair was long as well as his beard.

"Hey elvis, how are you?"

"Oh, you know growing old and dealing with MC life as usual. I've missed ya A. Are you staying for good?"

"Yup bought the cabin before I left Germany. Its mine as well as the two acres surrounding it."

"Not hurting for money are ya sweetie?" I laughed when he wiggled his eyebrows and led him to the couch next to Gemma, taking my spot between them.

"Not much to spend money on when you are back and forth between missions, I made good rank and pay. So yeah im set, but I'd love to get a job after I get settled, not too sure doing what though."

Bobby looked at Gemma and a silent message passed between the two, shaking his head he looked back at me and replied with a solemn look on his face.

"Apparently Clay wants you to be part of the club eventually, says your skill set could come in handy with the guys."

"It will be awhile before im behind a scope again but I would love to help the family out." Bobby looked as if he wanted to turn me down but I gave him a pointed look and he sighed in defeat.

"I figured that's what you would say. Have you met the other guys?"

"No, I have met Filip, he and Jax brought over Max." Surprising myself with the name for the pup, and then realizing it fit perfectly with my past, I pointed over to the now whining bundle in the cardboard box. Standing to stretch my legs I walked over and picked him up, cradling him against me as I set about warming a bottle of milk.

"Well how about a family dinner Sunday. Its only two days away and you can start your project in peace and quiet until then? Everyone in the club has been told to ask before coming over, you shouldn't get anymore unexpected visitors."

After making sure the pup latched on and was drinking, I looked over with an unbelieving smirk, "Right, like you and Gemma as well as Jax and Clay will stay away for two days."

Gemma and bobby both raised their palms in agreement, Gemma spoke "As long as you promise to be there we will swear to give your peace and make sure Clay and Jax agree as well."

Thinking about it, and knowing those dinners were crowded but with the promise of two quiet days ahead of me with my projects and peace I decided it was something I should do, if not to meet my brothers.

Nodding and smiling I agreed.

"Well then baby girl, we will see you Sunday 6pm sharp." As they stood I half hugged them with the pup still drinking in my arms and saw them out. When the motorcycle and car finally disappeared down the drive I sat in the couch and watched Max drink. Maybe life could finally start to feel something like safety and home with a family.

Filip-

Bobby and Gemma pulled into the driveway as I was making my way to my bike to head home, when Gemma walked over and stood beside me arms crossed and pointed expression I knew she had spoken to Aella.

"Yes momma?"

"Filip huh?" She shook her head and chuckled.

"Jus' came out while staring down her baretta after waking her from a nightmare."

Her serious expression dropped with her arms, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"What did my baby go through Filip? Shes a ghost of her normal self and way to skinny to be healthy. She looks like shes been through hell and back and I'm worried sick but don't know how to help."

"The only thing ye can do Momma is be 'ere for 'er. Shes gonna need some time and some space but eve'ually she'll start to talk, and thats when we know shes 'ealing."

She frowned and looked away as I noticed her eyes getting wet, I stood and pulled her into a hug.

"Bobby and I promised her two days of quiet as leverage to get her to come to Sunday dinner. Now im not too sure it was smart, with nightmares and her issues what if she hurts herself or something."

I pulled her back to look in my eyes, "Ya think she would have came home just to hurt herself and cause you and all of us despair. That girl is a soldier and a fig'ter. She wants a new life, it won't come to that."

She let a small smile form on her face, "You care about her already don't you?"

I looked away and stared at something unseen on my bike, "The lass has some 'old over me Gemma, I dunno 'y but it's there. I'll keep an eye out for 'er and don't let any o' that matchmaker shite come to 'ur head. Aye?"

She laughed as she walked away and winked.

Shaking my head I climbed on my bike and headed to my apartment, all the while Aella playing over and over in my head. She really did have a hold, but the best I could hope for would be friendship and for her to allow me to help her through this.


	3. Chapter 3

Aella-

The next day I woke around noon and stretched my body, muscles were tight and dried tears on my face, great nightmares again. Realizing this was going to be a norm I walked into the bathroom to start the shower. I loved warm showers, didn't get many while out on deployments but they always relaxed me when nothing else could, the water had to be scalding and I had to spend at least 30 minutes under it before feeling human and starting to soap up.

As I started to strip my sweats the distinctive sound of a motorcycle startled my movements, shoving the shirt completely off and leaving in a sports bra and sweats i jogged over to my kitchen counter and grabbed the berretta. No one was supposed to be visiting me for two days as promised by Gemma and already having background knowledge on the other MCs being in the area, my training kicked in. Although it seemed early for their curiosity to be peaked enough to come down to my cabin, I would always rather be safe.

Locking the front door from the inside and stepping out through the sliding glass door, I started to work the layout of the cabin as I already had it memorized. Making my way around where I knew no one would think to look I trained my berretta on the supposed intruder, only to realize Filip was taking his helmet off along with his gloves. Letting out a frustrated sigh I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder with the gun. I pressed the muzzle to the back of his head, these biker boys would learn one way or the other.

"I thought it was made clear that permission was to be asked to come over, much less the agreement between Gemma and I for dinner Sunday. So what on god's earth is your reason for being here?"

Filip dropped his last glove on the bike as he felt the berretta against his head, I had clearly surprised him, serves him right for dropping by unannounced. He slowly started to turn, his eyes going wide when taking in my appearance, I had forgotten I rushed out of the house without a shirt on.

Lowering the berretta and standing with my hands on my hips, any kind of shyness gone after being in the Army for 15 years, I stared brazenly back until his eyes met mine again. Realizing he had just taken in a full view of my bullet wounds and stab wounds I walked past him without another word, slamming my front door on the way in. I hated that with anyone else, seeing my scars wouldn't have bothered me. With Filip I felt vulnerable and exposed, which only made me angrier at myself than at him.

Max started to whine as the door opened again and Filip came in, he apparently realized his mistake and couldn't leave without apologizing. Something about this man made all of his actions ok, even endearing in a way.

"You can leave Filip, I promise I won't tell anyone you breached the agreement and pissed me off, and I promise I wont shoot you as you drive away."

He shook his head and picked up the bundle, finding my bottles of milk and popping it into the microwave as if this was his home and not mine. I started to feel anxious as he continued to act as if I wasn't there, so deciding he had seen enough I walked into my room and threw my t-shirt on trying to compose myself to talk to this man enough to getting him to leave. After shutting my forgotten shower off, I walked back into the living area to deal with him.

As I entered the kitchen he was sitting on my couch with max and feeding him.

"Look, I get it, two days was too long for Gemma. Tell her im fine and leave please, you've seen enough to know I can handle myself alone for two days." He looked up into my eyes and I knew he could see right through me, a couple of minutes passed with recognition and understanding in his eyes, I was starting to despise that look.

"Lass, ye don't know me and I don't know ye. What I do know is ye ain't fine, do me a favor and try not to lie te meh okay?"

I drew back as if he had slapped me, knowing he was right and knowing he could either be my best friend or one of the people I hated the most. He apparently had experienced some of my pain and had witnessed war first hand to be able to see right through me as he did.

"What? So you think because you've seen war you can say you know me? You can act like you understand me because you've seen people die? Killed people for the club? What do you want old man?" I was fed up with him and wanted him gone, but with each word I saw his eyes break out in despair and I felt bad at taking my frustration out on him, as it was only a result of my own pain.

He stood wordlessly and put max back in his box, after putting the empty bottle of milk in the sink he started to walk to the door.

Surprising myself and him, I hurried over to slam the door closed before he could make his exit, isn't that what I wanted?

He turned to look at me, taking my hands in his, I noticing how well both of ours fit together but quickly shaking it off. Looking back into his eyes, I noticed I could get lost in them for they had a certain amount of despair in them that I could relate to.

"Listen Aella. I don't understand why but I want to help. I have experienced death and war but I 'ave no inclination te say it was the same as what ye went through. Ya need to talk to someone darlin', if ye want it to be me, I'm 'ere for ye. Aye?"

I took a deep shuddering breath and realized that same feeling that I had while in his embrace earlier was there, safety. I pulled my hands from his and nodded while maintaining eye contact the whole time.

He let out a sigh and turned the knob on the door, but looked at me with permission, which I gave in the form of my own nod.

After I heard his motorcycle leave, I crumpled into my couch and folded into myself as I picked up the bundle next to me, holding max close I cried for everyone and everything I was haunted by. That moment when I closed the door preventing Filip from leaving was in fact a stupid decision made from desperation and need. The need to have someone in my life that understands and can help me understand what I am going through. I should be tougher than that, I should be able to deal with it on my own, but I know that isn't the case, I guess after dealing with it on my own for 15 years I actually want someone to lean on for once. Maybe that person could be Filip, but it should be Gemma or Jax, someone I know won't turn away from me after I allow them that deep into my thoughts, scary as they are.

After taking a brief nap with max and him waking me with puppy breath and kisses, I slid off the couch and noticed it was 2 pm, might want to get a move on if im going to get the foundation done for the shed.

After putting on my work pants and a black tank top with my tan work boots, I slid my berretta into the hidden pocket on the inside of my thigh, and braid my hair back. Grabbing my supplies and loading it into the truck, I remembered at the last second to grab the plans I had drawn up with the sizes for the cuts, something I did awhile back during a boring period on over watch during one of many deployments.

Driving the truck about 500 yards from the house and pulling next to the stack of 2x4s I set up my tool chest as well as the table saw, luckily I had bought the tool chest with an internal power source. Sliding my work cd into the truck, and mix of Coldplay and U2, I turned the volume as high as possible and rolled the windows down, walking over to the work area I had set up I listened, feeling content with the volume I set to work on building my foundation for my future shed.

About 6 hours had passed and I was finishing the staining of the foundation, I noticed the sun had started its slow decent. Smiling, I knew I had made good time, the foundation had turned out better than I thought. After laying my last coat of sealant down I started to pack up my things in the truck. As I grabbed the table saw, my hands were slick with sweat and it slid slicing into my forearm. I cursed loudly and looked around, noticing my t-shirt was laying in the back of the truck from the day before I ripped a piece off. Tying it as tight as possible to slow the blood flow, and continued packing my supplies up. When everything was loaded the shirt was completely soaked through, great it would need stitches. Driving back to the house, careful to keep blood from flowing on my new truck, I pulled into the driveway. Unloading everything took longer, and I started to feel the effects of losing so much blood, finding my phone in the center console and deciding enough was enough, I dialed Jax's number.

"Aella, whats wrong? You okay?"

"Why does something have to be wrong jackson?"

"What happened?" Apparently my voice had betrayed me coming out weak and broken.

"Your girlfriend is a doc right?"

"Yes, Tara is a surgeon. Aella what the hell happened?!"

"Just cut my arm, loosing a lot of blood. Can you call her have her come over, I hate hospitals."

"Yea, and Filip is on his way now, I'll take alittle longer to get there."

Groaning, my head started to pound, "Jackson do NOT send Filip, do you hear me. I want the Doc and that is the ONLY person I want for company tonight. OKAY?!"

"Fine, fine. Jesus Aella. Be more careful ok. Tara is about 10 minutes away."

I hung up the phone without giving a reply, I didn't need to coddled and the only reason I called was because I refuse to go to a hospital. All of my suture supplies I left in Germany in my barracks, not thinking I'd have to do any stitching on myself anytime soon, funny how wrong I was.

Waiting for Tara I could almost feel the blood leaving my system, standing from the couch I knew it was a bad idea, feeling all of the vision drain from my eyes I blacked out, the last thing I heard was Max whining.

-Filip-

Jax called me saying to head to Aella's, something about needing stitches, I didn't even listen for the rest when I hung up on him and jumped on my bike. Flying out of Teller Morrow I sped down to Aella's house, feeling my phone vibrate I ignored it. The only thought in my mind was of how bad it could be that she admitted it to Jax and asked for Tara.

When I pulled into the cabin driveway, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I stomped my throttle spitting rocks behind me. When it came into view and I knew I needed to slow, only then did I let up. Barely registering turning the motorcycle off I ran inside.

Opening the door I could hear Max whining, knowing Aella was ever attentive to him had my brain searching every crevice of the house to find her. Finally I found her body on the ground in front of the couch, her arm bleeding heavily.

"Shite! Aella…" Shaking my head at knowing her stubbornness was the cause for her waiting to the point of blacking out to call. Walking over I picked her up and walked her to the table. Flipping my phone open I dialed Tara's cell.

"Yeah Chibs? I'm almost there."

"Tara, she blacked out, I'll stitch her up but I need you to run to ST. Thomas and grab some blood, shes lost too much."

"Got it."

Tara hung up and i shoved the phone into my pocket, jogging outside to grab my medical kit from the saddle bags, always keeping a fully loaded kit for runs with the boys. When I came back in I set about grabbing some rubbing alcohol, and waved it under her nose. When she woke she attempted to grab for her weapon, unfortunately I had ahold of her free hand and didn't let it go.

"Aella, darlin' ye blacked out its me Filip. Ye don't need that."

Being as weak as she was she finally stopped fighting, laying back completely but keeping her eyes trained on me. As I started to set up an area with supplies I'd need for stitches and keeping note of the fact she watched my every movement, I decided I'd explain where my skills came from.

"I did 3 years military darlin' was a medic until I was court marshaled. Know what I'm doin' darlin' just 'old on." She must have understood my need for her to be ok with the fact that I was going to add another scar, she moved her body so her arm was positioned perfectly in my view and she was no longer staring me down.

"I'm goin' te give ye something fer the pain, that ok?"

She shook her head no. "No shots, no pain meds, just do it ok?" When my head snapped to make eye contact in what im sure was a questioning look filled with pain knowing how painful this would be, she just nodded and looked away again.

"Ye sure lass?"

"Listen, obviously you can see its not the first time I've been stitched up, and its definitely not the first time I've passed out from blood loss. So stop treating me like a child and do it."

Again i felt a cold drift over my heart as i was on the receiving end of her wrath, should just learn to do as she asks. The comment about her scars didn't go unnoticed as I think about what she said while I continue to stitch her in precise and fast movements, also noting she makes no sounds and her breathing remains the same as if she doesn't even feel it. When the job is finally done I step back and gather all the bloody supplies, as well as her shirt and toss it into the trash bin. As she lifts herself up and starts to stand I drop the supplies in my hands already knowing her legs wouldn't hold, catching her around her waist and holding her against my body before she could fall to the floor.

Then something happens, maybe it's the blood loss on her part but the air shifts and it becomes hot with possibility and desire as I realize how close we are. Her left leg is in between mine and right outside of my left as I have my arms around her lower back and her good arm is around my neck. I can feel how her body molds into mine, how well she fits me, how muscular and as Gemma said skinny she was. But when I look into her eyes, it takes all I have not to lean in and kiss away her pain and misery, all I want is to taste those lips and make her feel that its ok to trust and love someone again. But instead her eyes are filled with clouds and her mouth drops open, making it hard for me to figure out what is going on in that beautiful head of hers. She is the perfect definition of beauty, inside and out, beauty for protecting and serving her country, for surviving when others wouldn't, for knowing when to quit and come home, and beauty in the scars that tell stories, her eyes draw me in as I note her tattooed skin is silky even with the scars. When she finally bites her lip and looks away, I clear my throat and lift her back into her sitting position on the table.

"Thanks Filip." Her voice comes out tired and soft, almost as if strained.

Quickly finishing up packing everything in my first aid kit I walk it back out to my bike and load it back into my saddlebag. Before walking back inside I take a moment to compose myself, as much as I wish it didn't, that small and quick moment between them left him yearning to hold her close and have her accept him in her life. He needed to go back in with a straight head and remember the promise he made to make her comfortable with him, not jump her bones.

Finally walking back in to find her with Max in her arms and walking around, as if what happened before didn't faze her, shaking my head I move to lead her to the couch.

"I'll warm it up fer ya darlin' go sit please?"

She did, with a look of defeat on her face, knowing I should just let her go about her ways as if im not there but not being able to stand by and watch her exhaust herself without the blood transfusion that Tara was bringing. After handing her the bottle I was about to sit next to her when Tara's car pulled up, walking over to the door I opened it as Tara rushed in already a flurry of panic.

"Shes fine doc, just needs the blood, Already stitched up and ready to go."

"Oh thank god, Jax was freaking out when I told him you were here and that I had to turn around to go get blood. You can leave though, Jax apparently needs you at the clubhouse, I got this Chibs."

I nodded and turned to grab my keys and helmet off the counter, at the last second before I walked through the door I looked over my shoulder and made eye contact with her. Knowing I wouldn't leave if she wasn't comfortable with Tara being in her house, Jax be damned. Luckily I think she understood because she gave me a nod and looked away. Taking that as all I needed, I left climbing on my bike and starting the ride back to the club. Aella on my mind the whole time.

Aella-

Tara was at the house for an hour and a half, mostly for observation and mostly to catch up about Jax and the kids. Apparently the play pin was for my nephew Abel. Tara was definitely a good person and cares deeply for Jax, so much so that I hope to find someone like that for myself one day, something I haven't wished for in 15 years.

After she leaves, I sit and pet Max as he lays in my lap sleeping, all the while thinking about the moment in Filips arms. He and I fit together so perfectly, our bodies almost made from the same mold, even with my shortness to him. I remembered smelling my own blood on top of his scent and feeling that same feeling of safety as he held me. I almost allowed my desperation at wanting to feel it all the time show on my face, when I finally gained my nerve and bit my lip looking away breaking the moment. Even now sitting here and falling asleep with Max and I feel his body against mine and smell him.

Quickly squashing my hope I thought about all the baggage I carry and the fact that he'd run for the hills as soon as I let him in, not to mention there was no way he found me even remotely attractive with my scars.

No would ever would.


	4. Chapter 4

For anyone who wants to hate on my story: I laugh at the effort you put into finding something wrong with my writing. If I was trying to publish this as a book, i'd be offended or worried. However, its a passion of mine so I will acknowledge your review.

For the anonymous review trying to claim that im blowing military smoke up my ass, here is a disclaimer personally for you. You can be accepted into military academies around the world for a variety of different schoolings for military careers. Which allows you to join at the age of 15 and enlist at the age of 21. Look up your facts before you attempt to discredit someone who is active duty military. Thanks.

As for the age mix up, I apologize. To my other readers, and more friendly SOA fans. Aella is actually 30, I will make sure to update the story after I finish a couple more chapters and make changes.

For those of you already following, I thank you so much. It gives me hope that maybe I am helping your need of SOA to continue, as I know its helping my emptiness since SOA ended.

Continue to read and continue to review, unless you are looking to be an ass.

Filip-

I woke up from a dream that I hadn't expected to have, Aella and I were on our bikes riding together, while dreaming about riding my motorcycle wasn't new this was an entirely new experience. Looking at Aella as her hair fluttered with the wind and watching her smile, and smirk through tight bends, and the feeling of happiness and love that filled my entire being.

Nothing else romantic happened, im not even sure we were together in the dream but I know I hadn't felt that happiness even with Fiona. It scared me how much this woman I barely knew invaded my thoughts and dreams. So maybe it was time to give her the space she insisted on and find a sweetbutt to work some frustration out on. After all the boys were throwing a congrats party for Happy's patch over, it would be the perfect time. So with a plan and a hope to move on, I crawled out of bed and slowly washed my body dressing for the day.

Aella-

Waking this morning was easier said then done, with the experience from last night and the knowledge she would have yet another scar, she had nightmares about every single one of the scars already marring her skin. Last night had been one of the roughest, but what rocked her even worse was that the 4th time she awoke screaming and crying she looked at her phone contemplating calling someone. When the first person to enter her mind was Filip she sighed and rolled over, she really wished he wouldn't continue building hope in her by doing the things he had been doing. Since day once she felt a pull to the older Scottish man but she couldn't explain why. She shook her head thought about how a normal female would react to his treatment, hell most woman would have slept with him just to curb their curiosity.

But then she knew most woman don't have night terrors of watching fellow soldiers die next to her or of being tortured. Sighing she flopped out of bed and motioned for max to follow her, as he was getting stronger from the regular doses of formula he was wobbling around and liked to follow me. It was probably the best thing Jax and Filip could have done for me, getting him as soon as I settled into my own place.

Starting the shower while walking into the kitchen and starting coffee I realized i only had today of peace left in my agreement with Gemma. I hope her, as well as everyone else will keep the surprise visits to themselves for awhile, I really have been enjoying my moments alone.

Being alone I can pretend im normal and not suffering, just forget the past and work on today. So much easier then seeing the questioning glances and looks of pain that my pain causes other people, especially when they are people I love.

They gave me this stupid list of how to's for dealing with PTSD but I crumpled it up and threw it away. Far be it for them to tell me how to deal with myself, I can figure that one out on my own. But I remember being thanked for my service, receiving my medals and plaques and then being handed this piece of paper, like that's all there was left of 15 years of horror, blood and tears. It was literally heart shattering.

Starting my day with a cup of coffee and feeding max was easy enough, when I finally decided id start on a wall for the shed it gave me a bit of a pep to my walk. That is until I remembered that I was out of 2x4s. Slumping into my driver's seat of the Silverado I thought about what else could be done, when something popped in my head that I hadn't thought about since Germany. Running back inside to change, with a smile on my face and my GPS keyed into directions for my destination I pulled out of the driveway.

Finally arriving 30minutes later after a couple of road mix ups and tricky directions i arrived at the Harley shop. Walking in, smile still on my face, I located a dealer and walked up to him. Today I had worn my tactical black pants and donned not one but two of my 1911 pistols. Completed with my favorite riding boots and a black tank with my leather jacket. Apparently I chose my riding outfit correctly as the dealer looked me up and down and pulled a parts catalog.

"It takes two to three working days for parts to be shipped ma'am. what can I get ordered for ya?"

I laughed, "Actually I was wondering what bikes you had in stock?"

He quirked his eyebrows and shuffled the parts catalog only to trade it for a motorcycle list of in stock bikes. "What kind of bike are ya looking for miss?"

"Harley Night Rod Special, blacked out if you have it with z bars instead of stock as well as iron pipes?"

Clearing his throat and closing his previously gaping mouth he looked. "Seems we have just the bike minus the handlebars but it should take about an hour to put together since we have them in stock as well."

He started the paperwork and asked about a payment plan.

"No thanks im paying the flat our fee." I laughed as he choked on the sip of coffee he had just taken.

"Miss that's $32000. You sure?"

I nodded yes and handed him my card. He took care of the transaction and took care of swapping my license over from Germany. "Well, after speaking with my manager and the transaction being successful we were wondering if you would like to pick out a helmet and gloves on the stores charge, we appreciate your business as we don't get much as of late."

"That would actually be awesome, I could use another pair of both."

After grabbing a coffee from the coffeehouse next door and selecting a pair of gloves as well as a new blacked out helmet, my bike was ready to drive. Only thinking about it for a few minutes I walked over to the truck and grabbed my extra ammo, clips, wallet, and phone. Sliding them into the hidden compartment of my jacket I slid my phone open and dialed Teller Morrow's number.

"Gemma speaking you've reached Teller Morrow how can I help you?"

"Hey momma, can I ask a favor?"

After a large intake of breath and a shuddered release that had me rolling my eyes she answered, "BABY GIRL, what are you calling for sweetheart its your free day."

"And again I ask can I have a favor momma?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Look don't ask questions, I will pay Teller Morrow the fees and everything. Have one of the boys pickup my truck from the coffee shop at the beginning of Lodi's shopping center, and see if Jax can stop by the cabin at 3 and feed Max. I'm going out for a while and don't want to drive the truck. I love you momma and promise all will be explained tomorrow at dinner."

After hanging up as she was taking a breath to speak I smiled the biggest and cheesiest smile since I could remember as they rolled my beauty out of the shop. Yes, that was my dream bike and damn if it wasn't better looking in person. Whistling my appreciation as they started him up for me, I climbed on and signed my final piece of paperwork, sliding my gloves on after grabbing the temporary license from the dealer, I then slid my helmet on and played with the throttle warming the engine. It had been years since id been on a bike and I suddenly felt a little more whole as I pulled out of the shop and opened the throttle down main street.

My hair whipped against the helmet as I took a particularly hard turn, the smile still hadn't left my face since climbing on the Harley. When I found the shop I had located using my phone, I had them remove the Harley signs from the tank and replace them with ghostly Celtic crosses and a reaper on the tank. Both designs severely blackened so that you could only see it if sitting on the bike or looking closely. The money I now had allowed me to customize the bike as I had always dreamed, including a custom seat holster and hidden foot platform that opened to hold the pieces of my sniper rifle.

After about 2500 miles and all my customizations done, it was dark and beautiful out, but I decided it was time to make my way home. As the welcome to charming sign came back into view I noticed a turn off for a look out right after it to the right, turning off I pulled the bike up to the end. Without putting the kickstand out or getting off I killed the engine. Taking in the scenery before me and basking in the smell of my Harley and new helmet, I sighed, this was how I had hoped life would be when I moved back. As I started to pull my cigarettes from my jacket I heard another bike pulling into the look out. Shaking my head I started to pull out, as I passed the bike my breath caught and my heart dropped. There was Filip with a croweater on the bike making there way to the lookout for what I only assumed as a sex scene.

With tears welling in my eyes and confusion at my breaking heart, I decided to be polite since there wasn't any way he knew who I was and gave the customary rider wave while passing. Too drunk and turned on to care as the croweater's hand slid to his crotch he didn't return it. With a wave of disgust and anger washing over me I redlined the bike back to my cabin.

Filip-

Tonight had been a disaster, or at least for myself and my head. Gemma had called me over to the office at around 1pm and asked if I could take the prospect and go pick up Aella's truck in Lodi. She said that Aella had been very secretive as to why but that there would be an explanation tomorrow at dinner.

So with all progress I had made to push her out of my mind, she reentered in full force. With my mood turning sour and having to deal with the running mouth of Half-Sack all the way to Lodi, I became downright snappy. It pissed me off even more when I came back to the garage after dropping of Aella's Silverado and Gemma made a comment about being worried and wondering where she was. I snapped and told her to stop acting like she was a child and leave the woman alone, because that's all she wants. When Gemma gave me a sympathetic look, it only made things worse. This female, who I barely knew, was turning me into an old grumpy man and I hadn't even slept with her.

So as the party took off in full swing I started to drown my sorrows in my favorite friend Mr. Jameson. After way too much whiskey and encouragement from the boys, Emily asked me for a ride. I decided I'd sneak her up to the lookout for a quickie with the hopes she could help erase Aella from my mind. I quickly became curious even in my intoxicated state when a lone biker on a blacked out Harley was sitting at the end of the drive staring into the sky.

My mind fluttered back to my dream, the one of Aella and I riding through the mountains together, but I quickly shook off the thought as I knew she didn't have a bike. Finishing my drive up to the end where the previous biker had been, while ignoring the biker's wave I parked the bike and sloppily climbed off. After helping the croweater off as well she made some comment about chivalry.

Deciding I didn't want to hear anything more from her mouth, I crushed mine to her's in an almost painful kiss. Which she sloppily greeted with her tongue. As I allowed the kiss to further escalate and felt her hand sliding down my chest I realized that for once, I wasn't hard, not even a little. As the croweater felt it, she made some remark about it being ok and having a cure. Sliding down to her knees she unbuckled my belt, I leaned back as she took me into her mouth. When after a couple of minutes I became bored and angry at myself I pulled away and shoved my pants back up. She tried kissing me again but I shoved her away and told her to wait by the motorcycle. Walking further into the pavilion and slouching into one of the chairs I pulled a cigarette and lit it. Closing my eyes and wandering what the fuck was wrong with me, I'd never had a problem getting hard for the croweaters before.

Then Aella popped into my mind, scars, beauty, her eyes, those lips, how she felt molded into my body, and her scent. Everything flew through my mind in full force and I almost choked on the cigarette smoke I was exhaling when I realized it was because I had found something worth waiting for, and now that I had, my old body and soul wanted her and only her.

God even with Fiona, it had never been that bad. With the angry notion that no amount of sweetbutt, croweater, or Jameson would help me with my new feelings towards Jax's Godsister I stormed over to my bike. Dropping the croweater back at the clubhouse without even turning the motorcycle off, I took off down the street and flew back home.

When I walked into my apartment I looked around, letting the tension in my body drain as a large sigh was released I stripped as I made my way to the shower.

Aella-

I parked the bike in the garage and closed the door securing the bike inside as I kept cursing to myself. The tears had flowed easily after I passed Teller Morrow and noticed the party at the clubhouse, where obviously Filip picked the croweater up. I had no clue why such a man could break down the walls she had built and kept up around her heart for the last 15 years in just a few acts of kindness. Now that I had seen his true colors, it only hurt even more as all the hope I had allowed to build in my heart came tumbling down. I realized this was the first time I cried for a man in my entire life, at least in a more than friendly or brotherly way.

Curling into a ball on my couch and watching Max do the same at the foot of the couch, I pulled my favorite blanket over my body while crying myself to sleep.

Waking up with a feeling of panic and fear, I jumped out of bed, grabbed max and slid my 1911 from one of the holsters in my pants. Opening the sliding door I walked the perimeter clearing every corner and hole outside the house. Walking back inside I proceeded to do the same thing, after satisfying myself with everything being clear and the reality that I was indeed alone I relocked all the doors and windows and fell back asleep.

Waking up as I thrashed so hard out of the couch and smacked my head on the coffee table, it took me a moment to realize where I was and what had just happened. Standing to repeat my clearing protocol after a night terror I raised my hand to my face and noticed the mixture of blood and tears soaked on the left side of my forehead. Clearly I had been crying, and hit my head harder than I thought. Having had enough and knowing the only person to call, I walked outside and lit a cigarette as I listened to the line ring.

"H-hello?" Realizing that Tara must have answered for Jax considering they were most likely asleep as were normal people, I almost considered hanging up.

"Tara, its Aella." I could hear her sitting up and trying to wake Jax up.

"Tara, are you there?"

"Yea Aella, how are you? Everything ok its 4am."

"Listen can you wake Jax's ass up and both of you come over, I smacked my head on my coffee table and need help."

"We will be there in 10 minutes, do you want me to call anyone else?"

"No, please Tara, just you and Jax."

"Got it, no problem."

10 minutes was long enough for a pounding headache to form, bad enough that when Jax banged on the door for me to unlock it I had to stifle a groan of pain. Walking over with Max in my arms, the little rascal wouldn't leave my side after the tumble I took, I opened the door to a very sleepy looking Jax and an awake Tara.

Jax's eyes sprang open taking in my appearance and Tara moved to take the dog from me. When Jax opened his mouth with what im sure was a slew of questions that I didn't feel like answering just yet, Tara handed him the pup and told him to go make coffee. Jax looked shocked, almost as much as I felt, and walked off for the coffee machine and supplies.

I chuckled, "Tara, you are definitely starting to become one of my favorite people in charming."

"Well I'd hope so with how many times I've already had to patch you up since you have been here, not to mention I put up with his dumb ass."

We both laughed until I let my groan of pain slip, Tara took my elbow and led me back to the couch before walking into the kitchen and wetting a rag. When she returned she started to clean my hair and face of the blood, thankfully the wound wouldn't need stitches since it had already stopped bleeding.

"No stitches this time missy, what the hell happened though, you took a chunk of skin off."

"Um, that's why I asked for both of you. Tara, can I borrow your boyfriend tonight?"

"Considering you're his sister im assuming this has nothing to do sexually, so can I ask why?"

"Look, my PTSD has night terrors as a symptom. Unfortunately lately any little thing will set off the more violent ones, and they tend to result in things like this." Motioning up to my throbbing head, and then letting out a sigh for the hard part. "I want my brother to spend the night in hopes that maybe I'll actually be able to get more than a hour of sleep without waking up screaming or in sweats, even worse crying. I don't want to look like a zombie as I have been these last couple of days, especially with the dinner tomorrow and meeting everyone."

Tara just took my hands in hers after finishing up the patch job. "Of course Aella. I know you don't really want to go into details, and I understand your used to having male friends, but sometimes having a sister can be helpful. I'd love to be there for you, but tonight you can have Jax."

I looked up and nodded as my eyes had started to burn as a sign of tears, Tara stood. "I'll just go talk to him real quick and make an excuse about having to be with the baby and you having a concussion."

Giving her a smirk at her capability to sneak her boyfriend into agreeing reminded me of Gemma, no wonder she had lasted so long.

Jax and Tara spoke long enough for me to drift back to sleep, when I woke the next morning I realized three things, the first is that someone had put the blanket back over me, as well as cuddled max into my arms. The second was that it was already 9am and my throat wasn't sore, my eyes werent puffy, and I didn't have any injuries. The third was that Jax was curled into my recliner facing the couch with his head at an awkward angle snoring.

As a tear escaped my eye, I realized this is what family must be like. My heart started to warm and ache at the same time, the realization of what was surrounding me and how many devastating lonely nights I had spent without my family came crashing into my mind. After crying silently for about 10 minutes I gathered myself and wiped my face clean, promising myself to attempt to open up for my family to be there for me.

Standing to feed Max and start some coffee, I pulled out a few tylenol as I knew his neck was going to cause him some pain. As the coffee finished and Max finished his bottle I set him outside to walk around, he had become a curious little bugger, so I usually just kept an eye on him from inside the sliding glass door while I sipped my coffee.

As I started to chuckle at Max clumsily falling down the porch steps Jax walked in while releasing a massive yawn. Becoming shy and not knowing what he had heard or witnessed after I passed out I just showed him where the cups were, grabbing my cigarettes I stepped out onto the porch and lit one up.

A minute had gone by and he was next to me out on the porch and grabbing a cigarette from my pack.

"I left without mine last night." I just nodded and handed him my lighter.

Continuing to smoke and avoiding the conversation I knew was bound to happen I started to drift into my own thoughts when Jax grabbed my hand and held it between his two slightly bigger ones.

"Sis, you have to know I witnessed some of your night terrors last night, you also have to know I'm so proud and happy that you asked Tara to keep me here, even if she lied to me to get me to agree to it. Either way I would have agreed. I understand you don't want us to push ourselves upon your life, but please promise me you won't hesitate to ask anymore." After he finished he started to remove his hands, grabbing ahold and tightening my grip I made eye contact with him.

"Thank you brother. I love you." It was the only thing I could form to come out of my mouth, this was the first morning I didn't feel 80 years old and my body actually felt refreshed. My brother's presence had made me feel safe enough to actually sleep, something I forgot was even possible.

He stood after a couple of minutes in silence and pulled me into a hug.

"You know your days of freedom are over. Right?"

We both laughed as the look of horror crossed my features. That meant one of two things, either Gemma was already on her way, or she would be.

"How long do you think I have?"

"Hmmm, either 30 minutes or 3 hours." I went to throw my pack of cigarettes at him but hit the sliding glass door that he had closed while laughing, knowing my attack was coming.

Dumping the now cold coffee on the grass and calling Max back inside I walked back into the living room. Jax was watching something on tv, "Hey im going to take a shower, you can leave you want, go say good morning to that amazing girl of yours."

Smiling and agreeing with me, he turned the tv off, gave me a hug and walked out.

Today was going to be a long day.


	5. Chapter 5

Things are starting to move forward between Filip and Aella. However, I've always been one for the slow torture of Filip realizing he was in love with someone before being able to be with that person. So I hope the readers out there enjoy a long story. I plan on making this one long, with a max of 35 chapters, but a promise of true love and happiness for both Aella and Filip.

Aella-

After my shower I noticed my phone beeping, signaling a text. Walking over and unlocking it I recognized the phone number as Max's wife.

"Max's grave is in LA, don't know where you are but here is the address if you would like to visit. Hoping you are ok, sadie."

The feelings that overtook my mind were so many at once I slid to my knees with my towel wrapped around my body and started to cry. Max and I had made a stupid promise over 5 years ago at his wedding. Which ever one of us was buried first, we would always visit and continue to talk to each other, incase we never found someone else to open up to. As the tears receded to one or two occasionally sliding down my cheeks I changed into my riding gear. Shooting Gemma a quick text telling her id be there for dinner but had somewhere to be for the rest of the day, I walked out to my bike.

Sliding my helmet and gloves on after locking the house up and opening the garage door, I climbed on my Harley. Starting him up and letting the engine warm, I took off down my driveway, the occasional tear still making its way down my cheeks.

I made it to the graveyard in almost 3 hours, trying to let the tension roll from my body as I let the throttle and the mountains take my pain away. When I pulled into a parking slot and shut the bike off, I wiped the still slow descending tears from my eyes. Slowly I pushed my feet, one in front of the other to the marker I knew would be his. A tall stone Celtic cross stood with several rosaries as well as a red, white, and blue wreath of roses. When I reached it and took in his spec-ops badge at the bottom of the cross with the words below 'though many may never be able to define a hero, I pushed my limit attempting to accomplish what I thought it meant, now my life will live on with my family and friends.'

My legs gave out and I fell to my knees, dropping my helmet sobbing into my arm as it braced my head that rested against the cross. He would have loved the work put into his grave and I could only hope he would have loved that I kept our promise. I began to fill him in on my life in charming these last few days, on my family, and even Filip. Only after my voice became hoarse between the sobbing and talking did I realize I had almost 3 and a half hours to make it to Gemma's. Standing, a fresh wave of tears hit me as I bent to kiss the top of the cross and say a prayer we used to say together before every mission.

As I drove back to Gemma's my mind replayed every good and bad moment, every close call, every silent message we ever sent between ourselves before our missions in the humvee. As I reached charming I rolled my shoulders and realized the tears had stopped and I felt almost better if not a little relieved. As I could see Gemmas house in the distance and noticed most of the boys were out front I realized my little secret would no longer be one. Pulling up and sliding into the long line of bikes the Sons stood and started to approach me, clearly thinking I was a stranger on a motorcycle. Taking my time to get off the bike, pulling my gloves off first, I noticed Gemma coming down the front steps. I pulled my helmet off my head and shook my head as my long curly hair cascaded down my back, pulling the extra mags from under my jacket and sliding them into my saddlebags, I laughed as almost every mouth had dropped, including my families.

After the shock had wore off and I pulled my jacket off to reveal my shoulder holsters, laying my jacket on the seat of the bike I waited as they all crowded around. After a couple of questions someone noticed the reaper paint job and the crosses, learning his name to be Happy after he called Jax and Clay over to point out my details. Both looked at me with a prideful look and smiles.

"Does that mean you accept?" Clay asked while sliding his arms around my shoulders and walking me up the steps to see Gemma.

I simply chuckled and replied "of course."

The dinner rolled smoothly from there, I learned a little about everyone, except for Opie who was missing dinner due to a pissed off wife, which I understood after a 5 year stint for the club. As we started to break into groups I felt more and more at ease with the brothers I now had. Happy, Tig, and of course Bobby and Jax were already growing closer to my heart.

The only person who could have ruined the evening was being quiet and keeping to himself at the dinner table with Piney. Apparently he was sober enough last night to connect the dots of my bike and the rider he was being fondled infront of at the look out. He was also being smart enough to stay away and not ask for forgiveness, it felt nice to know that he knew I had witnessed his true colors, but my heart was still shattered.

Filip-

Sitting with Jax and Clay, all of us waiting for the party person, I started to wonder where she could be. I had developed a feeling in the pit of my stomach since seeing that rider last night with the croweater, as well as the following disaster of a performance. Something wasn't sitting right, we all showed up to find croweaters, Gemma, and even Tara making dinner but no Aella. When Gemma had informed all the boys she would be here on time, but had been somewhere else all day, my heart ached as my stomach burnt with anxiety.

Then I heard the approaching bike, as the other sons stood when the bike parked at the end of our row, I stood as well taking in the features of the bike from afar. That's when I realized it was the same bike from last night, my breath caught as a lump formed in my throat. As Gemma came to the steps outfront and the biker removed her helmet a very recognizable mane of hair flew down to her lower back. As everyone connected the dots a swarm formed around her bike asking questions. My legs grew weak as I slid back down to my spot. She had witnessed me at my moment of desperation with the croweater. My heart was breaking and I had to fight off a sad amount of tears burning to fall. Any hopes I had with trying to gain her friendship and helping her to live among us, as well as any hopes I had at making her love again, love me, were gone.

With a depression settling over me I followed the group surrounding Aella back into Gemmas. Aella fit in with my brothers so well, I watched with a sad mixture of jealousy as she laughed and got to know each and every one of them, even rat boy and half sack had their chance. As the night grew later and dinner was served and consumed, I realized with a painful kick to my already suffering heart, that she hadnt even turned those deep blue eyes towards me once, I might as well have not shown up. What did I expect? That she would cause a scene?

No she was doing much worse, and it was for a good reason. But as she hugged Happy a little longer than necessary in my opinion, and then kissed Tig on the cheek my entire body burned with jealousy and my fist involuntarily curled. Standing I made excuses to Piney, who was midconversation with me, and walked out for a cigarette.

After a couple of puffs and a moment alone Jax walked out closing the door behind him, cigarette already between his lips. As he lit it he kept eye contact with me, and I knew mine and Aella's actions towards one another hadn't gone unnoticed as I had hoped.

"What did you do brother?" he leaned back after the question and bore down on me as he crossed his arms waiting for my answer.

Filling him in on the encounter I had with the strange biker now revealed as Aella, and then my resulting performance as well as my conclusion to the reason as to why. My body slumped forward in defeat as I realized I admitted everything I had been fearing and hoping for from the woman inside, his Godsister.

As I stood waiting for the impeding blow to my face, it was more than a few moments that had passed, before I realized it wasn't coming. Looking up I saw realization and empathy in his eyes.

"I had kind of figured this would happen after that first day when you filled the boys in on her condition Chibs. If I were to give anyone my blessing it would be you brother, you deserve happiness, both of you do." Shaking his head and throwing out his spent cigarette, he turned towards me. "I just hope you both realize what happiness could be if you were to allow yourselves to open up with the other. You fucked up Brother, and you probably lost any progress you had made toward gaining her trust, that doesn't mean you can quit. If she is working this hard to avoid you, its because she is hurting from what she saw last night, that's on you and I want you to make it right."

I nodded as the lump in my throat had formed again after receiving the blessing from my brother, the blessing I didn't deserve.

"She had such horrible night terrors last night that she woke Tara and I from a dead sleep at 4 am. She had thrashed out of the couch and took a chunk of her head off on the coffee table. She then asked Tara to make up something about a concussion so that I would stay with her for the rest of the night. She isnt used to people being there for her, much less having the ability to ask without being turned down. She needs us brother, she needs you."

I let one of the tears in my eyes slip as I listened and realized that the betrayal I had caused her to feel had triggered that bad of night terrors. I had to take a shuddering gasp at the realization she called Jax instead of me.

"She deserves someone better Jackie boy. What good would a beaten murderous old bastard do for her, except drag her down?"

Jax slid off the walk and pushed me against the wall by my cut, being close enough he harshly whispered, "you stupid fool, your not her salvation, you both are each others, both represent a second chance at happiness. Get it through your thick skull that BOTH of you deserve that chance. Now don't fuck it up anymore than you already have Filip."

With that and his given named used, Jax roughly released him and went back inside. I allowed my weak legs to rest as I slumped into the patio chair. Letting Jax's words repeat over and over in my head. With a sinking and painful pounding to my heart I realized she was the first and only chance id get for happiness, maybe Jax was right and it was the same for her.

Aella-

As the night came to an end and I gave everyone hugs followed by a peck on the cheek, the last person to approach me was Filip. With everyone climbing on their bikes and starting them up, I decided to be polite. As I approached him I noticed the look that crossed his face, as if someone had kicked his puppy. As I slid into his arms for a brief hug my body had a mind of its own. As his arms came around me my hands slid to meet each other behind his neck. My body relaxed and slouched into his form, releasing a sigh I hadn't even known was there, his arms tightening in response. My head rested on his shoulder and his came down to rest his cheek against the side of my head. In that moment I wanted to forget all the betrayal and anger I had since last night, the hurt that resonated through my entire being, and the tears I had wept for him. In his arms I felt at peace and at home, and yet my mind played the image of the croweater's hand landing on his crotch and his drunken expression flashed before my eyes. As the emotion I had buried deep threatened to surface, I pulled away from his embrace. Looking over my shoulder at him as I walked away, seeing he hadn't moved, his entire body had slumped forward and his head was dropped looking at the ground. He looked defeated and it made me curious and angry at the same time.

Climbing on my bike and nodding to Jax and Clay, we took off on our first ride together, just me the VP and Pres of the Sons of Anarchy, my Family.

Filip-

As I watched her hug everyone and place simple kisses on their cheeks I realized I was the last person. When she turned towards me I expected a slap or a simple goodbye. Instead she walked into my arms, almost forcefully. As I felt her body mold to mine, my heart exploded with yearning and happiness. I had to force tears from my eyes as her body, rather unwilling to her mind, molded into mine and slumped against me. Her arms connected behind my neck and she laid her head against my shoulder, my body curling around her in turn, tightening my arms with fear of this moment ending. As I laid my head against her own, I made eye contact with Jax who nodded in acknowledgement. When a sigh left her body, it took all my willpower not to fall on my knees right there and beg and plea my case to her. Instead her body suddenly tensed as if she knew what I thought of, and pulled out of my embrace, walking away.

My whole body stood slumped in defeat and I felt as if I had no muscle left to move. A tear slipped from my eye and fell to the ground. As I watched its descent and felt my heart crumple with the distance she gained, I missed her catching my posture and my defeat.

This woman was meant to be with me, I had never needed someone my entire life, not Fiona, Kerrianne, or my Ma. But I needed Aella, that was one thing I knew for certain. Every strong fiber of anger or tension from past memories, or thoughts of issues in the present, every wall built around my heart from the possibilities of love, and every smart remark or need to lighten the mood. Every single one of my defense mechanisms I had built to survive, came crumpling down around this woman, and without them in her presence I felt like a new and better person, like there was something to live for.

I knew then that I would fix this, and make it right. I would gain her trust as a friend at the very least, because I needed her in my life in any way possible.


	6. Chapter 6

So I understand that I may be mixing up SOA's timeline and like I said I don't own the SOA as Kurt Sutter does, but for this story I decided for my bad guy I'd switch things up a little. Who knows maybe Aella can help with the Zobelle problem as well. Hmmm…..

Anyways so please don't hate. :) Enjoy.

Aella-

The hug that night had been one I couldn't wrap my brain around, I wanted to hate the man with every bit of my being, I wanted him to know he would never be anything to me. Yet that night, as if we were already connected on another level my body felt as if it were a different one in his arms, as if he made all my pain and sorrow disappear just from our bodies molding against each other in a hug. The worst part weighing on my mind, his body had reacted the same way. For some reason when we connected it was on a different level.

…

After the dinner that night, the club became my family, and I embraced my brothers. It had been a week since that night, and I had visitors on the regular. Yes my PTSD still kicked in and I continued to always have on hand my weapons, but with my sniper rifle loaded in my bike compartment and with my new found brotherhood; I found working on my shed or just riding to be a simpler event. The only thing I was still struggling with was my night terrors, for some reason they wouldn't leave me. Some nights held the usual nightmares, and some were packed with the violent outbursts. Not wanting to bother anyone, and allowing my body to get used to the lack of sleep, I looked less like a zombie and just decided to deal with them myself.

Clay and Jax stopped by earlier this week to let me know that right now the club was dealing with issues pertaining to the Irish and their gun trade. Which explained my stupid curiosity as to why Filip had left me alone for these like 6 days, he was currently in Belfast with a shipment of weapons, as well as Juice. After speaking with the club Clay and Jax had decided to keep me outside of the details of most issues unless my certain skill set was required , plausible deniability, then if the requirement came to their attentions they would fill me in on the event and past events. Seeing as I was still trying to deal with my own psychological issues, this didn't bother me as much as I thought it would, after all it would only be added drama to my already long list of hidden secrets.

After Clay and Jax had left, the boys didn't stop by for the rest of the week, although Gemma did call everyday to see what I had been up to. Unfortunately I spent my days waking up, working on the shed, doing some exercise if I felt the need, and riding the Harley. Most of the time I was on my Harley it wouldn't matter the time or day, I'd end up back in LA and visiting Max. His grave wasn't him, but I knew his spirit watched over me, and it was easier to spill my worries and drama, even allowing myself to talk through my nightmares with his cross in front of me. That cross was a work of art, so much so that I had decided to text Sadie, Max's wife and ask permission to get his grave stone tattooed on my neck. It would be directly below the scar I had gotten from that night, to represent how that happened, and who I lost. She had agreed knowing how much Max meant to me, today was the appointment and I loaded up into the truck, not wanting to wear a helmet after a fresh tattoo, I pulled out of the driveway and headed there.

After about an hour of the usual tickling, painful digging that comes with getting a tattoo, I looked at myself in the mirror. The tattoo would definitely raise questions but I knew that my brothers would let me tell the story on my own time. That was one thing the boys had seemed to adopt about me rather well, I had my worries going into this that they would all be like Gemma. Turns out the boys have been on the receiving end of Gemma for so long and done so many horrid things for the club most of them would rather talk about things besides where their scars came from or why they did what they did to receive them.

It was rather fitting that this brotherhood would fit me so well after the brotherhood I had grown in was taken from me, sometimes I had to wonder whether God really did have a plan for me.

After getting the tattoo lathered with lotion and buying another bottle just in case, I drove back to my house and started to make dinner. Occasionally I would stop and look at my reflection, that tattoo was rather beautiful, an exact design of the picture that I took of Max's Grave stone but with an added flower design to kind of hide the fact that it was a Grave stone. You could clearly see Max's dates and his name as well as his Spec-ops badge and the quote below. I left a generous tip for the tattoo artist, he had really taken it to another level and I was incredibly thankful. Looking at it now in the reflection of the sliding glass door a tear escaped my eye. I missed my brother and partner, but I knew he would be proud of my progress and family.

As I let Max out and allowed the potatoes and vegetables to boil, I stepped outside watching Max and started to smoke.

Letting my mind drift and watching the clouds move over the forest behind my house, I realized the serenity surrounding me. If I allowed it to peace could find me here, it would take a long time, but I would.

Suddenly Max started to perk and look around the house, allowing my sniper senses to kick in and really listen I heard the footsteps walking through the gravel. Realizing someone was there, and they didn't ride a Harley was enough to kick me into gear, countering Max's pointed direction and silently making my way around the other side of the house, I reached the front as I noticed a silver range rover parked up further from the house. When I clicked my tongue, Max came to my heels and sat, giving him a silent command to stay the pup almost nodded. If it were any other moment I would have laughed at how serious the pup looked and took my commands.

Slowly crouching below the windows, as I was sure they were inside by now, I reached the garage. Popping open my sniper rifle compartment I slid the pieces out and into my arms, after sliding my 1911 iiback into its holster against my thigh. With my sniper rifle assembled I slung it over my shoulder, grabbing my ammo belt and took off in a silent sprint to the sniper hole I had built 10 ft up one of the trees. At about 65ft away, with a perfect view into every room of the cabin I had built it to house my silencer for my sniper rifle as well as a phone. After adding the silencer to the rifle, I decided that I was now set up, I laid myself down, and took a deep breath. Looking to the left of the house I could see Max still hidden and waiting for me. Looking into each of the rooms I counted 5 men, each armed. Picking up my phone I dialed the house phone.

Being the dumbass men I had assumed they were one of them answered it. "So would you like to tell me why your in my house?"

The man almost dropped the phone, holding it at arms length he whispered to a shorter man wearing more expensive clothing. Each of the other men started to scan the house, I guessed they thought I was dumb enough to call from inside the house. The shorter man finally took the phone, "So, ye are as smart as ye military file said."

"Name now, or I'll take out your left hand, holding your beretta."

"Patience lass, name is Jimmy O', just t'ougt I'd pay ye a visit and intreduce meself, seeing as ye are a part of te club but Clay refuses to let me meet ya."

"Hmph, Clay probably had his reasons for that, Jimmy. Now I'll give you 30 seconds to evacuate my house and leave before I start taking down each of your men, saving you for last."

I could see him looking at the phone and looking out of the windows, to show him he was smart enough to figure that part out, I shot the phone in his hand. Watching him look at the shattered pieces and starting the count in my head, his men continued to look through my things. Having reached 30 I tested the wind one last time and adjusted the scope to the precise measurements. Taking a deep breath and noting that I had the same sense of calm and determination as I did out in war, I steadied my thoughts and focused.

Releasing the air as slowly as I was trained, and squeezing the trigger I watched as the 8man to Jimmy's left fall, a hole in perfect balance between his eyebrows and his brains now spattered behind the couch.

Taking another deep breath, I released it slower as I took down one of Jimmy's men making his way to his boss, the hole above his right ear and brains spattered on my hallway.

Taking another deep breath, I took down the man now on his phone, his phone falling into the boiling pot of vegetables, his body falling slack onto the kitchen floor, blood spattering my kitchen window.

Finally with an angry smirk and fear on his face, Jimmy and his last man ran for the vehicle. Deciding I'd had my fun, I let them leave. Disassembling my rifle and collecting my brass I climbed down the tree, making my way over to my motorcycle. After the rifle was again secured I slid my 1911 out of my thigh holster and made my rounds around the yard and house making sure everyone was dead and I hadn't missed anyone hiding.

The house was clear, and three very dead Irish men laid on the floor of my main living space. With a grunt and a sigh I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Gemma, as I waited I called Max over. Now that he was already 2 months, he was about the size of a small lab puppy, except his legs were getting longer and his head looked too big for his body. But when he walked to sit in front of me with his eager and loving silver eyes, I bent down and hugged him close, he was my child.

"Aella? Darling whats going on?"

"Grab Clay and Jax and tell them to get their asses over here now." Hanging the phone up I looked around, my relaxing moment only 15 minutes earlier had been ruptured and my house now smelt of blood and vegetables. Walking over to the kitchen I grabbed the boiling pot off the stove and let it fall into the sink, making sure to shut the stove off. I wasn't going to eat anything tonight, and I couldn't stand being in my house any longer. The smell of blood was one I had been acquainted with early on and it was doing nothing for the anxiety that my PTSD triggers.

Walking back outside I began to chain smoke again, wishing I had enough balls to grab a stiff drink but knowing I'd puke everywhere and most likely breakdown if I went back inside.

It took about 4 cigarettes and around 20 minutes for the sound of motorcycles to reach my ears. When I heard Gemma open the front door, I knew she would freak. Hearing Clay and Jax yell my name I opened the sliding glass door.

"Jesus christ guys if there are dead men and I called you guys to come over, don't you think I'd be fine. Quit yelling and come outside I can't be inside there right now." As Jax walked out first followed by Clay and Gemma, I slumped back into the wooden swing I had built, and lit another cigarette.

Looking at Clay and Jax I spoke shakily, "Tell me the club has a cleaner on hand that can get rid of those bodies?" Immediately Jax walked about 3 ft away, phone already to his ear.

Clay looked me up and down reassuring himself that I was in fact fine, "What the hell happened Aella?"

Telling them the entire story wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, I guess when it doesn't involve the military but protecting my family and my dog, it was a little easier putting those deaths to rest. When I finished the conversation Jax picked up Max, which looked awkward as he almost covered his entire torso. Jax started to coo to Max about being a good boy and knowing he had chosen right.

Clay took my hands in his, "I guess its time to read you into the irish deal huh?"

I laughed and stood, "Tomorrow, now that they know where I live, maybe it might be a good idea. I have no problem dealing with the occasional intruder Clay but if this keeps happening im putting a cast iron steel gate around my acres and you will have to pull strings to visit my house from now on. Understood?"

Clay, Jax and Gemma who had been silent the whole time started to laugh. "Look guys, I know you're worried about my PTSD backfiring from the kills today, but unbelievably, even to me, I'm actually happy. I guess when it's the safety of my Family, including the club as well as my house and Max, it just makes each kill justifiable."

Gemma finally walked over taking my shoulders in her hands, when I followed her gaze I knew she was taking in the new tattoo and details it involved. Waiting for the questions to start, she looked back into my eyes, after removing one hand to cup the side of my face and pull me into a hug. When she pulled back she smiled a teary smile, "I love you Aella, I'm so glad you are okay, and am so glad I have a badass sniper for a daughter."

The smile that lit my face was one of happiness, love, and gratefulness at her not mentioning any questions regarding the new tattoo on my neck. When Gemma stepped away Jax stepped up to hug me as well, making some comment about nice ink and telling me he loved me.

Clay stepped up and looked me over, "The cleaner will be here in 30 minutes, do you want us or Jax at least to stay and wait?"

Shaking my head no, I gave him a half smile, "No Dad I'll be fine, I'm just going to soak up the last rays of the day and spend time with Max." Looking over to find Max's tail wag at his name being mentioned, Clay chuckled and gave me a hug as well before leaving. As I heard the motorcycles disappear up the driveway, a sinking feeling took over my stomach, if Filip was on an errand in Ireland and Jimmy was indeed part of the IRA, would he be okay or was this just an attempt to scare me from helping SOA?

So after pacing like a caged animal with my phone in my hands, I decided Juice being with him would actually be the only way I could get answers, without having to give details about what just occurred today. Dialing Juice's number and lighting the millionth cigarette of the day, I slouched into the swing and pet Max while waiting for him to pick up.

When Juice answered I remembered the time difference and sighed, he sounded sleepy, "H-Hello?"

"Juice its Aella, just checking up on you guys, wondering how its going, I miss my brothers?"

"Aella, you know Filip and I are in Ireland right now right?"

"Yeah, I already talked to Jax and Clay about the others, wanted to check in on you guys as well."

"We are good, boarding a flight in the morning to head back into California, it'll be a drive from LA to Charming but we should be back by Saturday."

Looking at my phone I realized it was Friday, letting out a sigh I didn't know I had, I nodded while answering and pulling Max close. "Okay, thanks brother, safe flight okay and stay awake on the drive."

"Wait Aella, Filip is here if you want to talk to him." I could hear the pleading in Juice's voice which meant Filip had heard the entire conversation and was probably silently demanding the phone. I decided after the events of today, I couldn't handle hearing his voice without breaking down and telling him everything.

"Nah Juicey go back to sleep, I'll see you both Saturday."

"Night Aella. "

"Night Juice."

After the line went dead, I felt disappointment at the opportunity of talking to Filip being there and my not taking it, I hated the empty feeling I felt when he wasn't around, and wished he hadn't ever done the things for me that he had.

They were few, but for a person like me, they meant the world.


	7. Chapter 7

Filip-

As I felt the plane grab the asphalt, I knew the flight had reached its end. Looking to my right I found my brother fast asleep and snoring, reaching over and waking him up, letting him know the flight had ended. When the cargo door opened and I saw the eighteen wheeler sitting on the strip waiting for the cargo, I slid my seatbelt off, mindful of my injured shoulder and started to help the Irish men waiting for us to load the truck.

Wednesday night was always fight night at the Belfast charter, so when Liam challenged him to a fight he accepted easily. Deciding this might be just what was needed to clear his head. A good beat down and maybe some pain for the next couple of days. For him fighting was about two things, taking the punches and letting the pain take any emotional pain away, as well as waiting until the opportune moment to lay down his opponent with a few well placed hits. More of a stress release than about inflating his ego, which is why he was always labeled one of the best, because he used his mind and not his testosterone.

After about 20 minutes of heavy lifting, I rolled my shoulders to release the muscle build up. Climbing into the driver seat knowing if I took the first portion of the drive we might reach Charming by Saturday morning. Juicey boy tended to sleep through these runs.

After the dinner I had finally gained enough composure to return home, only to have Clay wake me from a dead sleep informing me of the run I'd be taking tomorrow morning. I hated that I wouldn't have a chance to talk to Aella before I left, but knew that maybe the distance would help my current circumstance. However, the entire time in Ireland, even with the occasional visit from Kerrianne and Fiona, I still couldn't stop the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, and the thoughts of Aella invading my mind.

Fiona had tried one of the last nights in Belfast to make a move, I being slightly intoxicated and her sober, it seemed more of a guilt thing more than an act of Love. But usually I'd have troubles fighting the urge to let her takeover and make love to her even drunk. That night, all I could think of was Aella and the feelings that had built inside of me for her, my heart didn't even sputter with Fiona around. I knew then that Fiona and I just weren't meant to be, and had my divorce finalized. Kerianne had questioned me on whether there was another woman, and I had told her everything, which turns out was a small amount but enough to have my daughter pass me the blessing I needed. Even for a 16 year old, it shook me how mature Kerianne had grown to be.

After about 2 hours of driving we were exiting the LA area, Juice already passed out. I never understood how the boy could sleep so much, it was a rare thing for 4 hours of sleep to come to me at night. This boy had been passed out since we left Belfast in the cargo jet, about 10 hours ago. I wasn't even remotely tired with the nap that I had snuck in during the flight. Maybe I'd let Juicey boy sleep and just drive the whole way. It was after all only a 6 hour drive.

About 5 and half hours had passed and I saw the approaching welcome to Charming sign. My left eye had started to swell again, making me glad i was almost home. After the fight i had done a mental once over checking my injuries, I must have underestimated some of them for I didn't realize the cuts and bruises were deep enough to last until I got home. My brother's wouldn't be bothered, it definitely wasn't the first time I came back home from Belfast covered in cuts and bruises, I knew it wouldn't be the last either.

The closer he got to Teller Morrow the more anxious he was to finally lay eyes on Aella again, it was bad enough she called Friday and had refused to speak to him. Even if Juice tried covering it up with the excuse of her phone dying midsentence. He saw straight through his sad excuse of a poker face, and allowed some pride to swell for Juice standing up against him especially in the favor of his new sister.

As he rounded the turn into Teller Morrow, his brothers remained in a group as well as croweaters ready to welcome Juice and I home. Waking Juice as I slid the truck into park, I climbed from the truck and started to survey everyone in attendance. After a bunch of half-hearted hugs and jokes made on his and Juice's expense, he realized Aella wasn't here. Trying to keep the look of disappointment from his face, he slid easily into one of the park benches and lit a cigarette.

Looking up he saw Jax making his way over with two shots and a bottle of Jameson, letting the grateful smile grace his lips, he took the shot and set the bottle down next to him. Tonight he wanted to drink and settle back into being home again.

As Jax lit a cigarette I could tell there was something brewing in his mind, "W'at is it brother?"

"Aella, I know you want to know where she is. She didn't come today, something to do with going to LA."

Letting my eyebrows raise at the realization Jax was definitely a mind reader, I shrugged and attempted to play it off, "T's alright."

"Also I need to fill you in on something that happened while you were gone. Everything is ok, and everyone is fine. But I know you would kill me if you found out from someone else later on."

"Ye want te come ova' after I say my goodbyes?" Jax nodded and walked away. After finishing my cigarette and walking over to everyone, I said my goodbyes to my brothers and made halfhearted excuses about being tired and sore, not up for the party they had obviously planned.

After about a half hour of being home and a long shower, I had just slid on a tshirt and jeans as Jax knocked on my front door. Walking over and letting him in, I walked to the couch, bottle of jameson waiting for me.

Jax must have noticed the bottle, letting a concerned look take his features he frowned, "You might want to hold off on that, im thinking you will need a ride after this."

Jax then sat at the far end of the couch and let a sigh leave his body, "Look before you take my head off, she wanted full disclosure on this thing, but I need someone who knows Jimmy to tell me what to expect as backlash. Clay thinks it was an attempt to learn about the newcomer, but going over there like they did was pretty bold."

As the empty feeling was joined by a deep and unsettling one, Jax told me about how Aella had killed three Irish men and successfully forced him to leave with a sniper rifle and a hideout spot she had built. As pride swelled within me, a deep and forceful dread overtook me as well. Aella was definitely a lot smarter and deadlier than Fiona, but this all pointed to signs that Jimmy had been informed about the new woman and had already made connections as to who.

"This wasn't to do with the club Jackie boy, I finalized my divorce w'ile in Belfast, Fiona musta told Jimmy there was ano'er woman. 'e musta used 'is IRA contacts and pulled her information, no doubt it aint top secret since she retired."

Jax leaned forward as the words came out of my mouth, his frown deepening. "You think this is Jimmy trying to hurt you, maybe try and steal Aella away from us as he did Fiona and Kerianne?"

Nodding, and no longer being able to look him in the eyes, now that I knew that my feelings for Aella had put her on the radar I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen.

"Ye said Jimmy never saw 'er face?" Jax nodded, and then something made me realize that there was most likely never a photo in her military file as a sniper. Which meant Jimmy still didn't know what Aella looked like. "Jimmy doesn't know what Aella looks like. That could be an advantage, and wit' 'ow easily she bested him and took out three of 'is men, Jimmy'll lie low for a while trying to find more information."

Jax leaned back and allowed himself a small amount of peace with the knowledge his Godsister had definitely scared Jimmy away for now.

"We should definitely keep an eye out though. I don't want that Irish scum anywhere near my Sister, even if she can kill three of his men without batting an eye."

I nodded, and knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep without checking up on Aella. Deciding I needed a good reason without tripping her up to the fact that Jackson had told me everything, I remembered her half gone pile of 2x4s.

"Jackie boy, does Aella still need some more wood?"

Jackie smiled and nodded, pulling his phone out and dialing Oswald's number, telling him that I would be by to pick up the stack in 30 minutes.

Aella-

It was 2pm and I had just pulled the bike back into the garage. After my phone call with Juice and knowing that they would be back today, I took the bike for a tune up this afternoon and planned for a trip to LA in about an hour.

The cleaners had done a great job, I would have to thank Jackson, as my living room and kitchen left no sign of the blood or bodies, it even smelt like home again, wood and vegetables. Checking Max and feeding him, as well as giving him more water, I checked the garden and shed. After giving the garden I had planted this morning some water, I climbed back on the Harley and left.

It was easy to feel at home on the Harley, as I knew my sniper rifle was below my right foot and my 1911s were tucked under my armpits. So as U2 drifted through my headphones that I had wedged between my ears and my helmet, a sense of peace fell on my shoulders as I leaned the bike with the curves. Enjoying the ride to LA was an effortless task after finding back roads made for motorcycle enjoyment.

When I reached the Graveyard I took my helmet off along with my gloves and subconsciously rubbed my tattoo on my neck. As its twin came into my view I realized I would confess everything about what happened yesterday and my kills. Max would understand and if anything be proud my training was still so present in my life as a civilian. He would smile down on me and understand the what I did was to protect my family. I always did wonder what he would think of my family and now my motorcycle club, remembering all the times he would mock me as I pulled up to a bar in Germany on the Harley I owned.

Today there were no tears present, just a need to unload all that had happened and to express my worries about Filip being home. After I finished telling my tales to the cross, I said our prayer and made out to continue my journey.

I had decided today that I would visit Max but only on the way to check out this famous spa that Tara and Gemma had promised to have me try. Seeing as the roots of my hair were starting to show I figured a dye was in order. The spa was another hour drive from Max but I found back roads to that destination as well. Thinking about possibilities for hair dye, I thought maybe it would be nice to try something new, but id also love to have my true hair color again.

As I pulled into the parking lot and walked across the street grabbing a coffee, I decided my normal hair color would be nice. Walking into the salon I almost laughed at how out of place I looked in my bike and tactical clothes. Walking up the front desk, I watched as the attendant took in my appearance, scars, and tattoos. The look that formed on his face was enough for me to allow the laughter out.

"Good afternoon, can I maybe have a massage followed by a hair appointment, thinking about getting the color stripped."

The poor guy was obviously intimidated as he booked both appointments and led me back to the waiting room without a word.

After 3 hours in the salon and another cup of coffee, I walked back over to the bike. Allowing myself a moment to admire my appearance now that my long hair was its natural color, and my skin seemed to glow from the relaxing massage and oil. For once, in a long time, I was happy and looked it. I left my hair down as I hopped back onto the bike, starting it up, and pressing play on my u2 playlist, with the sun already going down I started my 4 hour drive back home.

It must have been close to 11 when I finally pulled into my driveway, my body felt heavy with exhaustion, apparently that massage did wonders for my tense muscles. Being as focused as I was on getting the bike in the garage, I almost missed someone unloading a large pile of 2x4s over by my shed project. Turning the bike around I slowly made my way towards the person, while sliding the 1911 from its shoulder holster, which was difficult considering the gravel/dirt road. The nearer I got, the more my heart sank as I recognized Filip's form. Clearly his disappearance from my life was only due to club business. Pulling up next to Oswald's truck and killing my engine, I leaned back sliding my pistol back in its holster, pulling my cigarettes out and lighting one I waited for Filip to finish.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I checked the scot out during my wait, and definitely didn't mind what I saw. Filip had stripped down to a white wife beater and had his dark jeans on with his boots. He had a lot more tattoos than I had originally saw, and each one only added to his appeal. I didn't understand why after 15 years of being surrounded by sweaty good looking men, did this scot make my body burn with desire. But, as I continued to admire his arm and back muscles at work, as well as the sweat slicked hair falling in his face, I thought maybe it wasn't the right time before.

Filip finished as a cold wave washed over my body as I was reminded of the croweater on his bike and her hand on his crotch. With that image in mind, I braced myself for the conversation coming, and tried to reign in my anger as he walked over.

"Thanks for the wood." I had a small amount of hope that he would allow me to leave it at that. But realized this was a hopeless situation when involving the both of us, watching as he lit a cigarette of his own. His eyes widened as he saw my now naturally dark brown almost black hair, I could see the approval on his face but refused to acknowledge it.

"Jax called Oswald before I got back, wasn't feeling up to the party so I offered to deliver it for ya."

I snorted as I leaned forward on one arm, "I'm sure you had your share of partying in Ireland." Yes I knew about Fiona and Filip's situation, I had done my background digging.

"Aye, I suppose ya had to figure that out sooner rather then later." Releasing a sigh and watching as his shoulders tense I knew what would come next, and he didn't disappoint, "Can we talk about what you saw?"

"What, about you and Fiona? That's ancient history isn't it Filip?"

"Not that, what ye saw that night before Gemma's party. I know ye saw me wit the croweater Aella."

"Nothing to talk about, you're a free agent Filip." Almost allowing my emotions to slip as I knew that was a stupid response, I stood from the bike and lit another cigarette, my heart breaking a little more by the minute.

"Aella, I'm not a decent man, ye had to know that. Ye saw me in a moment of weakness and I know it hurt ye. Can we please start fresh?" He had stepped closer every other word, almost standing directly on the other side of my Harley now. Looking up into his eyes, I tried to decipher what laid there. My heart started to ache as I saw the pain, and despair my treatment had caused him.

"Look Filip im sorry, I don't understand why I reacted the way I did, you really are a free agent. We can start new, now that im a part of the club I'd like to have you as a brother just as the rest of those boys are."

Looking away and praying silently that he would just accept that as it was and leave, my heart crushed under the weight of my disappointment as he climbed into Oswald's truck. As he started it up, my gaze remained where it had been while uttering my lie, until I heard the window roll down. Looking at the truck that he had stopped while driving past, I waited.

"Ye should know that I will do anything to gain your trust back Aella, I want to be more than ye brother. Ill start with what I can get, but ye know that I want to be there fer ye. Please just try letting me," he stopped and made eye contact with me, looking as if he wanted to say more. Deciding against it he shook his head and leaned out of the window, "goodnight Aella, just to let you know your hair looks great." Driving away from the shed and from me, I could feel an emptiness settle over my heart, but with it came the first sliver of hope since before the croweater mess.

Pulling into the garage and finishing my routine of securing the house, I settled on the couch with a bottle of Jameson, deciding tonight was the perfect night to drink my sorrows away.

2am came and went and I was still drinking and watching Max as he ran around the yard, with a cigarette in one hand and the bottle of Jameson 3/4 empty in the other, I leaned back and looked into the sky. Watching the stars twinkle was something I had missed while on the deployments that led to living in cities, where stars were almost non-existent. In my backyard, the trees formed a semi-circle around the cabin, it was beautiful watching the trees sway with the wind while gazing at the moon. It was like that, that I finally passed out.


	8. Chapter 8

Filip-

Clay wanted Aella at church this morning, but she hadn't been answering her phone. As it was already 1pm, I started to worry, hopping on the bike and driving over to Aella's.

As I pulled up to be met with Max wagging his tail, I wondered why he was outside, and extremely muddy. Walking to the front door, but stopping when Max disappeared around the side of the house, I followed the Dane after realizing he would lead me straight to her. I stopped dead in my tracks as I took in Aella sprawled out on the lawn chair in a restless sleep. She was half naked, in only a sport bra and booty shorts. I was surprised she didn't burn from the morning sun as it looked like she had fallen asleep on the lawn chair. Shaking my head and telling max to wake her, I watched as the half human Dane licked and pounced on Aella.

Aella finally mumbled for Max to go away. "Aella its almost 2 darlin' church is in an hour, time to wake up."

Rolling away from the sound of my voice I was worried she had fallen back asleep, "Filip? Why is Clay sending you to wake me?"

"eh, I came on my own darlin', t's not like you to not answer ye phone especially this late."

She rolled over to look at me, "you were worried?"

Shrugging my shoulders attempting to play off how worried I actually was, "Clay almost sent Tig."

She finally rolled off the lawn chair only to lean forward and groan, at what I could assume was a hangover, I picked up the Jameson bottle and noticed it was only 1/4 full.

"Drank a little last night did ye?" She raised her head to glare at me.

"Ever the joker today aren't we Filip?"

As my words last night replayed in my head, I walked past her into the kitchen grabbing a cup of water. After rifling through her bathroom I found aspirin, grabbing two and walking back out to find Aella in the same position. Sitting next to her on the lawn chair, I handed her the aspirin and water as she gave me a questioning look.

Hanging my head and letting a sigh escape, "I know all about drownin' ye sorrows and tryin' to keep nightmares at bay while I sleep."

As she stood, I let my gaze follow her as she made her way inside, waiting on her while she got ready I fed Max. After hearing the shower turn off, I went to wait by my bike, about two cigarettes later she came out to climb on her bike. This time instead of her leather jacket she donned a leather vest, her weapons hidden underneath the lapels, with a black tank top and her tan tactical cargo pants and riding boots, her appearance left me with a feeling of yearning I hadn't experienced for a woman, ever. Her tank top and vest showed off the beautiful tattoos down her muscular and toned arms. Her khaki pants hugged her ass and thighs, but hung loose on her calves. I sat with the key resting in the ignition, waiting for her to lead.

Suddenly I realized this would be the moment I had dreamed of, except I wasn't sure she would allow herself to smile at me as she had in her dream. Starting my Harley and letting her take the lead I watched as we drifted up the driveway, how she smoothly inserted headphones into her helmet. As we turned onto the highway she looked at me as she leaned the bike into the turn and I saw it, the smile from my dream, and her sparkling eyes, she really did belong on that bike.

Aella-

As I allowed the shower to soak through my drunken mess, I replayed what had happened this morning. Filip seemed almost hesitant in everything he did with me now, only showing how genuine he was about earning my trust back. However, the fact that he had volunteered to come check on me still spoke volumes about the man. He may have fucked up and he definitely admitted to it, but clearly he wasn't giving up without a fight. That might be one of the things I was beginning to like about him.

Choosing my outfit for the day carefully, I decided to wear my vest that I had bought in Germany, as the vest that I chose was to remind me of my family back home, it looked very similar to the Son's vest without the patches. With the tactical pants and my tanktop, I decided to let my tattoos show, something I usually didn't do. It wasn't that I was shy about showing them off, I just didn't like people looking too deep into them and seeing my scars. Being home I was getting tired of hiding my scars, realizing they were a part of who I was and that it was time to accept them. It was time to move on.

Walking out to my motorcycle, I glanced to the driveway to see Filip checking me out, cigarette in mouth and key waiting in the ignition. Taking my time to slide my helmet and gloves on, I started the motorcycle, letting the engine warm up. When the idle leveled, I backed the bike up, seeing Filip wait patiently I took it as he wanted me to lead, I slowly drove up the driveway while sliding my headphones in. As I reached the top of the driveway I pressed play, my face breaking out in a cheesy smile as Echo- by Gorilla Zoe blared in my helmet. Giving Filip one last glance, allowing him to soak up my excitement and happiness I redlined the motorcycle to the garage.

Laughing every now and then as his face took a look of determination while he tried keeping up with me through traffic. Knowing I was breaking about 20 different laws at once I kept a vigilant look out for cops. Every now and then after a brief check of the area I would run a light or a stop sign just to see if Filip was up for the challenge. Each time he would fly through just as I had. It was a game of cat and mouse and it only made him sexier to me as he kept up with ease. This man was something else, and I liked that about him too.

Teller Morrow came into view and I was still red lining it. Switching down into a lower gear allowing the bike's rpm's to slow itself down, I glided into the parking area. Lining myself at the end of the bikes I backed mine into a spot, as Filip took his prospective spot further up the line. When my helmet and gloves were secured, I pulled my headphones out and walked to the clubhouse doors, to find Filip waiting at his bike.

My steps faltered as I took in his expression, his face was flush from the adrenaline rush, his dimples prominent and a very large smile bared his pearly whites to me. As he slid his sunglasses to his forehead, his eyes were sparkling, at which point he walked over to me.

He opened the door while talking low enough that I would be the only one to hear, "You lassie, are one hell o' a woman. Haven't had that much fun on the bike in awhile. Nicely done."

Knowing there would be witnesses if I allowed the smile from earlier to light up my face, I held it in only showing a reaction with a sly smirk and a wink as I walked past Filip into the clubhouse. Everyone was waiting in the common area, some at the bar, some playing pool. Clay and Gemma sitting on the couch laughing about something. Everyone noticed as Filip and I made our entrance, looking at each and every brother I shrugged my shoulders, as more than a couple had questioning glances at my lateness.

"Might have drank myself to sleep last night, sorry guys," making sure an innocent look was on my face I walked to the bar and asked for a shot of Jameson. The boys started to laugh, including Filip, Clay and Gemma.

Clay spoke as he rose from his spot at the couch, "Alright guys, this church is gonna be a long one, lets get it started." I took my shot as I watched the sons start to pile into the small room we all knew as "Church". Walking in last, I shut the door and took a seat against the wall away from the table.

"Aella, come over here." Jax had an empty seat wedged into a spot between Bobby and him, as a smirk appeared on my face, and I approached it taking my seat, I looked from Jax and Clay with a questioning look.

"You are part of the Sons now sweetie, you have to have your seat at the table as well. We are going to need you for votes and such, especially now that we know you ride." Clay smiled as I nodded my head in acknowledgement at the realization this was happening, I really was becoming part of the Sons. I only hoped they would think about allowing me to add patches to my vest. It would be a dream come true from my childhood, but I wouldn't push the subject.

Clay started to relay what had happened that afternoon with Jimmy's men, watching the expressions switch from pissed, to proud, to worried, to gratefulness that I had been unharmed. The retelling of my kills and defending of the club and my family, actually didn't bother me like I thought it would have. I felt a little bit of relief at the fact that each of my brothers had accepted my kills, not one of them looked to me with judgment or disbelief that I could handle my own, a sense of power and belonging came to me. This table had each and every one of my family members, besides Gemma.

After filling the boys in on what had occurred, comments of being proud as well as loving having a bad ass sister filled the table. At which time the boys began taking a vote to allow Clay and Jax to fill me in on the dealings with the Irish and Jimmy o', it passed unanimously. After watching each and every person agree to the vote, Clay and Jax dismissed church allowing the room to empty with the exception of Clay, Jax, Filip, and I. Right before my curiosity about Filip being there began to be voiced, Clay and Jax filled me in on a part of Filip's history I hadn't realized. Jimmy O' and the story behind his scars. I knew Fiona had stayed with the IRA after Filip had been banned, but I didn't realize it was by force that Filip left his family behind. A strange sense of hatred for Jimmy O' and disappointment at allowing him to walk away that night filled me.

After Filip finished his story, as well as explaining what he thought was Jimmy's reasoning behind this attack, I leaned forward with a sly smirk. "So you think Jimmy had come to my house that day to try and force me into the IRA and again successfully take any chance of happiness from you?"

Filip who looked cautious at my tone of voice just nodded in response. I wasn't sure whether this idea was true or just a chivalrous attempt at making him out to be the bad person. Either way, after allowing myself to think over the facts, and go through his actions that day. Jimmy O' was a stupid man for attempting anything against me, and he was now a dead man.

Looking between Filip, Jax, and Clay, I allowed the dark deadly look that a sniper developed over years of the craft to fill my eyes, making eye contact with each and allowing them to see it. "I want him dead, I'll allow you time to fill in the IRA and your Irish contacts, make another contact in the states. Jimmy O' will die, its just a matter of time and how I decide to execute him."

All three men sat in silence for a few minutes until Jax spoke up, "Aella, he has been more of a problem for the club and has hurt my brother more times than I can count, but it may take time before that plan can come through."

Clay nodded at Jax understanding where he was going and jumped in, "If you want to be in the club you have to understand that you can kill him, but only when the time is right. Can you do that baby girl?"

I nodded and let a small smile grace my lips, "Brains before bullets right?"

The boys smiled and both Clay and Jax walked out, as I made my way behind them Filip caught my wrist. Surprisingly my body didn't react violently as it normally would have with so many, instead I halted my steps and turned to face him.

"What are ye doin' darlin'? Ye can't kill Jimmy O', it would put a target on your back for life." I smiled knowing he was worried that I was acting out only on his behalf, and whether I wanted to admit it or not, part of that may have been true.

"Filip, I'm a trained sniper, I know how to kill someone without them ever knowing what even happened. One minute he might be driving, or walking, or talking to someone. The next he will be dead with a bullet between his eyes. I can shoot up to 1500 meters away. Trust me, ill be fine, and I won't do anything without planning it through." A look of disbelief came over his face, when I grabbed his hand in mine as he done so many nights ago, "I'm going to make sure that Jimmy can't touch the one's I care about anymore."

With that I let his hand slide through mine to make my escape into the crowded common area, walking up to Tig and challenging him to a game of pool, feeling Filip's eyes follow me the entire time. I had truly shocked myself and him with my statement, but it was true, I cared for Filip, a lot deeper than I'd like to admit.

Filip-

That statement had sucked the breath from my body, she wouldn't let Jimmy hurt the people she cared about anymore. Did that mean her family, or did she care for me? Just the thought that someone as beautiful and rare as Aella would kill for me had my heart pounding. My body flooded with warmth, and I had an overwhelming urge to pull her against my body and kiss her breathless.

Leaving her to the game of pool with Tig, knowing she would kick his ass without even watching it, I started to make my way to the picnic tables to smoke. Hesitating and changing my course to walk over to the boxing area, I slid out of my kutte, my tshirt, and started to wrap my hands. It would be good to take out some frustration on the bag behind the club, it had definitely been awhile.

After a solid 45 minutes of pounding away my troubles, I had a nice sheet of sweat covering me, and my knuckles were a tad bruised. Most people didn't understand why I refused to wrap my hands completely, but to me it was common sense. I have to be able to feel that my punches are connecting. As I slowly walked over to the counter to begin removing the wraps around my fist, Tig walked up behind me.

"What? Not wanting to take on an actual human being tonight?" I turned to find the older man smirking with a cocky stance, one eyebrow slightly raised then the other.

"Not tonight old man, just needed te push out som' steam. Plus ye wouldn't want te take me anyway."

Tig laughed and walked away, making some comment about him not being the only old man in the club. After throwing my wraps away, I slid my kutte back on deciding to air out instead of throwing on my t-shirt. Climbing on my bike, before sliding on my helmet and gloves, I heard laughter coming from the picnic tables. Jax, Opie, and Aella were sitting and smoking, each with a bottle of beer next to them. The laughter that reached my ears definitely belonging to the female in the group, loving the sound of her laughter and promising myself to make her do it more often.

Starting the bike and waving to them as I pulled out of the parking lot, I didn't miss the questioning glance on Aella's face. Tonight I needed to be alone, maybe relax with some music and a bottle of Jameson.

Aella-

Hearing a bike start, my attention was drawn to Filip leaving the parking lot, as he waved goodbye my eyebrows rose in a question I knew he would see. It was weird seeing him leave the start of a party so soon, but it seemed he needed to be alone. Earlier, didn't escape my notice, his slinking out to the boxing area. Nor did I miss out on watching him release his tension on the lone punching bag, the way he moved was poetic in a sense. Each punch would do major damage to a human body, and the power with which he delivered each stroke had me licking my lips with excitement. The man could fight, as well as other many talents, maybe it would be nice to have him close. Slowly but surely, I will make him work for it.

After a couple more hours of visiting the boys, as well as finally meeting Opie, I decided it was time to head home. It was getting late, and I had a rough night last night, the fatigue already setting in after the first two beers I had, now with a couple of shots and a few more beers bed was sounding really appealing.

After saying my goodbyes and giving a few sloppy hugs, I climbed on my bike taking a steadying breath as an attempt to sober up as well as wake up. The short drive home was what I needed, with the wind whipping through my hair and Yellow by Coldplay blaring in my headphones, I felt relaxed and exhausted.

Feeding Max, and checking on the rest of the house, I locked everything up and made sure my phone was on loud. Didn't want a repeat of this afternoon with Filip or worse, Tig. Calling Max over to lay next to me, and laughing as he curled up to almost half of my body at only 3 months, sleep easily over took me.

3 am-

I woke with sweat mixing with the tears streaming down my face, I was fully alert and aware that I had bit my lip to the point of cutting it open, tasting the blood on my tongue I groaned rolling out of bed. Deciding a shower might help, I left Max on the bed and started the shower. Looking at myself in the mirror, I paused. Tracing the scar on my face, remembering the nightmare and event that caused it, I had a flashback of watching as Max's blood spattered my uniform. My entire body started to shake and I could feel an anxiety attack beginning to form. The only way I could ever get over these was by waking Max in the dead of night and having him speak to me. Except this one was caused by his death, and I knew it would be ten times the pain. Shakily making my way to my phone, I scrolled through my contacts. Not wanting to disturb my family, knowing it would make its way around the entire club, it left only one person. A person I wasn't sure would want to deal with this, but I knew he would definitely be the one to calm me down.

As I waited for the dial tone to start, my rapid breathing started as well as the throbbing in my head. Biting my already bruised and cut lip, I held in the sobs threatening to over take me.

" Hello?"

"Filip…," a sob escaped as well as a choked breath.

"Aella? Whats wrong?"

"…..Sorry about the time." The crying had started and I barely was able to hold the phone to my ear I was shaking so bad. "I need you to come over."

"Already getting' dressed darlin' hold on."

I shut the phone and let it slide from my hand to the ground as I fell to my knees in the middle of the kitchen and curled into a shaking mess.

Hearing the motorcycle fly down the drive way I wondered how fast he got here, it felt like an hour but in reality was somewhere around 10 minutes. I was no longer capable of moving, or talking for that matter. The sobs coming at regular intervals, tears streaming in full momentum down my cheeks, my body shaking so bad my teeth chattered in between the sobs.

The front door burst open as I lost the ability to think.

Filip-

Bursting through the front door it only took a moment to find her, curled on the ground sobbing and hyperventilating. Her body shook so hard that I could hear her teeth chattering. Bending down and picking her up to cradle her into my chest, I walked over to the couch. I started to whisper anything I could think that would calm her down.

"Aella, shhh darlin' calm down. Ye have to breath with me. Feel my chest moving while I breath, now breath with me." She started to focus on my voice, and I could feel the shaking subside little by little. As I focused on taking deep breaths I felt as she struggled to mimic my movements. With her legs curled over my thighs, I had her face cradled with my left hand in the crook of my neck, and my right hand rubbing her arms, back, and neck. My heart broke with each broken sound coming from her body. It was hard for me to contain my tears while listening to her sob.

An hour maybe two had passed and she had calmed enough to seem like she had fallen asleep again. Standing and making sure to support her body in place against my chest, I walked over to her room. Max had been by her side through the whole thing and followed closely. Laying down with her still cradled in my chest, I knew id be sleeping clothed, but it didn't bother me. I wouldn't give up this moment for anything. Her body unconsciously curled around mine, so that she laid down beside me with her hand on my chest, her head on my shoulder and her legs curled to my frame. Max curled at the foot of the bed and laid down keeping a watchful eye on his mistress while getting comfortable. The dog really was a good fit for her.

After another hour of monitoring her breathing, and making sure another nightmare wouldn't occur, I allowed myself to fall asleep. That wasn't as hard of a task as I thought It would have been, her body curled to mine had my body purring with content. Her body fit mine perfectly and I couldn't help but notice. So when I finally allowed sleep to take me, I curled my hand around hers that laid against my chest, and tightened the arm around her waist holding her in place.

Aella-

I woke up feeling peaceful and rested, as well as unusually warm. Without opening my eyes I realized I was in bed with someone, as I felt the panic rising, I smelt the scent occupying the body next to mine. Instantly my body warmed as one eye fluttered open. I lay on my side curled into his body, he snored softly above my head. My hand laid against his heart as his hand had curled around it, while his other arm had a tight hold of my waist holding me in place.

Having been sent to the military academy so young I never had these types of experiences with men, I had never slept with a man after having sex. So it was confusing as I had a sense of belonging in his arms and a sense of peace as his body warmed mine.

Allowing curiosity to overtake me, I shifted so that my chin was on his shoulder and took in his appearance. He looked 10 years younger and so at peace. His scars looking more relaxed as well as the wrinkles around his eyes, from smiling or laughing probably. His hair was messy from sleep and I had an urge to brush the strands in his face away. Shifting a little more brought my face above his, as my hand reached out to move the strands that were causing said urge, his eyes opened.

My breath caught as I was staring into sleep riddled dark pools of brown, my hand freezing midair with the strands of hair collected against one of my fingers. Suddenly my gaze broke from his eyes and drifted over his face, taking in every detail. When I dropped the strands of hair to trace his scars, a questioning gaze broke on his face. Looking back into his eyes, I allowed my instinct to kick in, leaning forward until our lips were a breath away. Hearing the slight intake of breath from him, I laid my lips softly on his, at first just pecking until my lips started to move and mold to his.

As the shock wore his left hand made its way against my head, weaving itself into my hair, while he responded softly to my kiss. Feeling his soft lips move against mine, a groan I had attempted to hide failed, and it echoed softly in the quiet room.

With that soft sound, and a moments break between our lips for air, I leaned further away from him. I didn't mean for this to happen, but now that it had all I wanted to do was continue with it. But I wasn't ready for that, and I still didn't trust him fully. Even if he was the one I called last night.

Separating myself from his body, and softly grazing Max's head with my hand, I stood. Looking to find Filip staring at me, his lips still parted, and a hidden amount of despair at my pulling away breaking through his eyes. I bit my lip to keep my resolve in tact.

"Im going to start coffee, maybe make some breakfast and feed Max." As his mouth finally slid shut, and he nodded I started to leave the room. Max close behind I paused by the door, "Your welcome to grab a few more minutes of shut eye, I know I woke you up last night."

Without waiting for a response, I left and went about my morning routine, with only one thing playing over and over in my mind. That kiss and his lips against mine.

Filip-

As she left the room I fell back on the bed, as a hand drifted to my lips grazing where hers had previously been a shaky breath escaped me. That kiss was definitely something id never experienced with another woman, the feelings I had just from a simple brush of her lips had me moaning at the hope that it would happen again. My heart still pounded as my body pulsed with warmth just thinking about it. Remembering when she placed her lips against mine, how the breath literally left my body, and my mind went into overdrive wondering if this was a dream or reality. As she started to move her lips against mine, I couldn't think, as my hand snuck to the back of her head wanting to hold her there and keep it going for forever. Her lips molded perfectly with mine and I fought my hardest to keep from moaning in appreciation and need, I had been more turned on from that sweet kiss than any other time in my life. Sadly, it was over as quick as it had happened leaving me breathless and aching for more. Groaning again i realized it probably was out of comfort and that it wouldn't happen anytime soon, if ever again. This sweet woman would be the death of me.

I laid in her bed committing to memory what had just happened and the feelings I felt with it. That woman in there had allowed her guard down and I had glimpsed at the sweet and loving side she kept hidden. I knew I would do whatever it took to have it happen again, if only to see her look at me the way she had this morning.

Walking into the kitchen, she was singing to the low volume of the stereo, it sounded like U2 but i wasn't too sure. My heart started to pound again as I realized her singing voice was as beautiful as she was, she looked more relaxed then I had seen her in a long time.

Max lay on the couch, watching me with curious eyes, at only 2 almost 3 months the dog engulfed the 3 person couch. This Dane certainly would be massive, which would add to his intimidation factor. As I thought of Max attempting to protect Aella, thoughts of Jimmy making another attempt on his previous attack entered my mind. A question I had been meaning to ask her surfaced. Walking to stand next to her and clear my throat to let her know of my presence, she stopped singing and turned to me with a cup of coffee.

As I sipped the coffee I kept my gaze on her as she set about making scrambled eggs. She must have felt my gaze for she turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised and a smirk.

"Yes Filip?"

Looking further into her blue eyes I saw the pleading look begging me not to bring up what had just happened in her room. With my heart sinking at that, I allowed my courage and curiosity to do the talking.

"When Jimmy was here, how did ye have access to the rifle, if they wer' already in the house?"

I could see an internal debate on whether to tell me or not going on behind her eyes. Hoping she would allow me in this little bit further, and surprised as she suddenly began to move past me while motioning for me to follow. We made our way into the garage, she turned to look at me as she reached the right side of the Harley.

"Notice how my garage door is always opened?" Just nodding in response, she bent down to the Harley and spoke as she pressed an unseen button underneath the tank. "In the military we had to do abduction trials and learn different ways that fit our personality, to conceal a weapon of our choice in any place where it could be readily available. Mine happened to be my motorcycle."

I moved to see what she was pointing at, as I rounded the bike the right foot platform had opened to reveal her rifle disassembled and placed piece by piece in the small compartment.

This woman had to be the scariest or the sexiest woman I had ever known.

"That's lass is both beautiful and scary." I chuckled as she smirked in response to my comment, "What if someone steals the Harley?"

"Its got a fingerprint code on the button, won't open for anyone but me. It's secure I promise Filip." Again I chuckled, as my phone beeped and I looked at the screen seeing Jax had text asking where I was, I remembered it was my shift at the garage today.

Walking over to my bike, I looked back to see Aella following me slowly. "Its my shift at the garage, the boys are already wondering where I am. Completely forgot, I'll have to see you later ok?"

I watched as her face flashed disappointment and then quickly hid it with a blank expression. I bent down to gather my gloves and scarf from the saddle bag, but as I stood back up I noticed she had moved directly next to me.

My body warmed at the close proximity to her, my heart pounding, and I cursed my body's reaction silently. Suddenly she stepped into me and slid her arms around my neck, lying her head against my shoulder. I had to bite my lip to keep the moan of happiness in, as my arms wound tightly over her waist pulling her into my body. Holding her for as long as I could, soaking in the feelings flowing through my body, a frown formed over my face as she took a step back. As she looked into my eyes, I realized I could get lost in those blue eyes for hours if she would let me.

Looking away from my gaze with a shy smirk she spoke so low I almost missed it, "Thank you Filip for coming last night. Most men would have ran and I still don't know why you haven't. I may not trust you completely but I'm glad you are around."

As she turned to walk back to the house I softly grabbed her wrist and turned her to me. My heart and mind screaming at me to kiss her, as my hand lifted her chin to look in my eyes. My accent coming out thick with the emotions this woman caused, "Always Aella, anytime and anyplace. All ye have to do is call and I'll be there. I promise."

Letting my hand drop and keeping her gaze, my eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips and back up. If I didn't turn away now, I'd definitely kiss her and push her further away. So I turned to pull my gloves on, not missing how she continued to gaze at me for a couple of minutes before walking back into the house.

As I climbed on my bike and started the journey to Teller Morrow, I tried to understand how such a beautiful mess of a woman could have me so twisted. For the last 4 years I had been content with one night stands with croweaters and drunken messes from bars. With Aella I couldn't even look at another woman without comparing them to her, or wondering if I'd ever be able to have Aella look at me as some woman looked at their other halves. It hurt to realize that I hadn't ever loved Fiona even remotely close to the feelings I already had for Aella, and only after having her in my life for a couple of weeks. If only she would let me, I'd make it my purpose to see her relaxed and smiling, to see her happy, and to make sure she knew she was worthy of being loved. Even if I wasn't completely convinced I deserved that opportunity.


	9. Chapter 9

Filip-

Sitting in church, two hours later, Clay explained how the club had raised 130 of the 200k that was due to the Irish by the end of the night.

"The only stone we haven't unturned is the porn Queen." Clay took a drag on his cigar.

"Otto's wife? Luann?" Jax said while exhaling his cigarette.

"Gemma says she is always going on about how much she makes just from the website alone."

Juice piped in with the fact that she charges per membership and video, she had to be making three times that amount.

Aella wasn't present, after speaking to Jax and Clay she agreed to get the information later since she had plans to go up to LA. I was starting to get curious about these trips but no one seemed to share that curiosity, or had the courage to ask Aella what was in LA. Church ended after every one congratulated Jax on Abel getting out of the toaster today.

With thoughts of possible ways to make another 70k floating through everyone's mind, we walked out to the common room. Everyone gathered around the bar for the customary post church shots.

Aella-

As I pulled up next to the grave yard, I looked over after taking my helmet and gloves off to find Sadie, Max's wife, in front of his cross. Every time I came up here I wondered how long it would be before this had happened, seeing as it was their anniversary I figured it would be today. Walking over with the flowers I had bought, I knelt beside Sadie, saying my prayer silently and laying the flowers next to her's.

Standing as Sadie did, I pulled her into a hug.

"Aella, its been a while hasn't it. How are you?"

I pulled back and watched as she took in my tattoo as well as my scar, "I'm doing ok Sadie, trying to find a life without the Army has been hard, especially without him."

A lone tear slid down Sadie's cheek, "Aella, was that from that day?" She had stepped forward and ran a finger down my scar.

"Yea, that is. But lets not talk about that. Its your anniversary today right?"

She chuckled, "Surprised you even know, Max was horrible at remembering."

I paused knowing that Max was steering my thoughts to what I had decided would happen tonight, "Sadie, lets go celebrate. Lets go grab some drinks and celebrate the hero that meant so much to us, I think he would have liked that."

A small smile came over her face, "Did he ever tell you about McCoy's bar? Its his favorite."

"McCoy's it is, hopefully they have food, I could use a sandwich before shots."

I climbed on the bike and slid in behind Sadie's car, following her to McCoy's. 25 minutes later in the middle of LA's city streets she pulled into a parking space, as I slid my bike in behind her car.

The pub had low classic Irish rock playing and smelt of smoke, alcohol, and Sheppard's pie. Every Irish bar should smell this way, no wonder it was Max's favorite. Both Max and I loved Ireland, as we had spent a short stint there, we picked up the heritage and fit in with the local's easily. I could still hear Max taunting me about saving myself for an Irish man, chuckling I thought that he had been close, turns out he is Scottish instead. As our first round of shots, two beers, and a pair of loaded potatoes were brought out. Sadie and I dug into the potatoes, taking the shots once the food was devoured.

Filip-

It was already 1pm and we had just received word from Gemma that we could only get ahold of 55k from Luann. That left another 15k that we needed for the Irish to be happy, Clay was getting grumpier by the minute as McKeevy's boy had just called setting the meet at the pub in Lodi. Aella was still missing and Gemma, although trying to hide it, was trying not to worry by focusing on Abel getting out of the toaster. Jax was twisted between worrying about his Godsister and being happy about his son, with the added weight of the club his eyes were shadowed. I just wanted to hear her voice and know she was fine, I wanted 15k to miraculously appear and for the club to be at peace again.

I had just spent an hour changing someone's oil as my mind kept drifting from the task at hand and focusing on the issues today. Many times I would reach for my phone and check for any messages.

Finally I was finished with the last car of the day. Now , with nothing to occupy my mind I wandered into my dorm room to shower and get ready for whatever was to happen with the club.

Another hour had passed and Gemma walked into the clubhouse with the bag of cash from Luann. We were only 15k from our goal and had no idea how to pull it out of our ass. Clay was pissed, Gemma explained she had left messages for Aella but hadn't heard anything from her.

I walked out of the clubhouse and prayed maybe she would answer my call. As the phone dialed I leaned against the side of the garage, lit cigarette hanging from my mouth.

"….hold on someones calling, 'ello?" My eyes widened as it was only 3 and she was clearly wasted.

"uh, darlin' where are ye? Ye got everyone worried."

She giggled and said to an unknown person, "…shhh its my scott. I am somewhere in LA voice. Where are you?"

"At the clubhouse Aella, why are ye drunk?"

"thatsss a realllyyyyy long story, id rather not tell."

"Tell me where ye are so I can come and get ye."

"Your cute you know that. He is tall and dark and handsome, and he is a great kisser."

"Aella put whoever is next to you on the phone please."

"Halloo this is Sadie speaking, how may I help you voice?" more giggling could be heard from Aella.

"Where are ye lassies at darlin' Aella is needed in charming." I tried lightening my voice to maybe appeal to her mysterious friend, clearly a female I allowed my accent to be a little thicker.

"We are at McCoy's in LA. It's my husband's favorite." I could hear Aella screaming not to tell me that, that she was in trouble now.

"Okay Sadie right? Make sure ye stay put I'll be there soon."

"Okiedokie Scott."

After the line disconnected I went back into the clubhouse, motioning for Jax to follow me to my dorm room. As he closed the door behind him, I turned one hand pinching the bridge of my nose and the other resting on my waist.

"Our girl is drunk at a bar, a pub by the name McCoy's, I know the joint, inside of LA city limits. Ye sure she hasn't told ye why she goes up to LA?"

"No, but that explains why she has been screening our calls. You want me to go with?" Jax's concern showed plainly on his face, and I could tell he was just as curious by this information as I was.

"No, but I need ye to make sure Clay doe't know where 'm going. I should be back by the time Abel gets out, we will meet ye there."

Jax nodded and gave me a brotherly hug with a sly smirk on his face. Knowing too well why he had that expression I ignored it while walking to my motorcycle. It would be a more comfortable ride with Aella's truck, but I knew I would get there quicker on my Dyna.

Aella- My head was fuzzy and my recently stitched forearm was numb, as well as my toes and fingers. McCoy's bartender had swapped the irish rock for pop as it had grown later and the dance floor was packed as well as the rest of the pub. Apparently, a wake had just happened and there was a celebration here, bringing all ages and kinds of people to the pub. Sadie and I were definitely drunk, I could barely walk but was still dancing sloppily on the dance floor. Whenever I spoke I sounded like a 12 year old, but with what today represented I decided letting my hair down and getting stupid with Sadie was a much needed escape.

Suddenly a song came on that both Sadie and I knew, our eyes lighting up and deciding to do something risky, we climbed onto the pool tables and started to dance slowly. Sadie had her own rhythm as mine developed, I closed my eyes flipping my hair around and mouthing the words to the song.

Filip-

I pulled in behind her motorcycle and killed the engine, knowing Aella she would likely find trouble in a bar especially as wasted as she was. Walking into the pub and allowing the men closest to the door to take in my kutte, I continued up to the bar. I would need a shot to deal with what I was sure was about to happen. Until a song came on over the speakers and the females squealed in the pub. The bartender answered by turning it up, loud enough I could feel the rhythm in my brain. As I took my shot a loud cheer broke around the crowd. Looking to see what caused the commotion, I noticed two females on the pool tables.

_You got me sippin' on something_

_I can't compare to nothing_

_I've ever known, I'm hoping_

_That after this fever I'll survive_

_I know I'm acting a bit crazy_

_Strung out, a little bit hazy_

_Hand over heart, I'm praying _

_That im gonna make it out alive_

Recognizing Aella on the closest pool table to me, I became entranced with her movements and how she mouthed the words to the song. As her lips formed the words delicately, she allowed her hair to whip around her face.

_The bed's getting cold and you're not here _

_The future that we hold is so unclear_

_But I'm not alive until you call_

_And I'll bet the odds against it all_

_Save your advice 'cause I won't hear_

_You might be right but I don't care_

_There's a million reasons why I should give you up_

_But the heart wants what It wants_

She dipped low and rocked her hips back to a standing position, I could feel my heart pounding, my pupils dilating to her movements. The need for her forcing itself on me again. The way her body swayed and how her hips moved, I wanted to cover her with my body and have her move against me like that.

_You got me scattered in pieces_

_Shining like stars and screaming_

_Lightening me up like Venus_

_But then you disappear and make me wait_

_And every second's like torture_

_Hell over trip, no more so_

_Finding a way to let go_

_Baby baby no I can't escape_

As she finally allowed her eyes to open, she saw me at the bar. I saw the recognition cross over her face. As drunk as she was it almost surprised me, yet she allowed a possessive and desired filled expression to shine in her eyes, continuing to mouth the words and rock her hips. I had to fight my moan back as her glare shot straight to my already painful erection.

_The bed's getting cold and you're not here_

_The future that we hold is so unclear_

_But I'm not alive until you call _

_And I'll bet the odds against it all _

_Save your advice 'cause I won't hear_

_You might be right but I don't care_

_There's a million reasons why I should give you up_

_But the heart wants what it wants_

_This is a modern fairytale_

_No happy endings_

_No wind in our sails_

_But I can't imagine a life without_

_Breathless moments_

_Breaking me down down down_

I could barely contain my need to rush over to her, drag her body against mine and to ravage her possessively in the middle of the pub. No other woman had ever been able to do this to me from just a glare and a drunken dance. Her body moved expertly though, as if the booze in her system didn't effect her ability to dance at all. I paid no mind to her friend Sadie, as my eyes refused to move from hers. Especially with the stare she allowed to hold me in, licking my lips I could tell the song was coming to an end. I needed to gain a level head before approaching her, because at this point I would ravage her.

_The bed's getting cold and you're not here_

_The future that we hold is so unclear_

_But I'm not alive until you call_

_And I'll bet the odds against it all_

_Save your advice 'cause I won't hear_

_You might be right but I don't care_

_There's a million reasons why I should give you up_

_But the heart wants what it wants. _

As she slid down the pool table with some idiot's help, I held myself at the bar, waiting to see if she would walk over. As she did, I knew she may be drunk but she was still the Aella I knew, level headed and calm. When she stood right in front of me, that stare still baring into my eyes, I gripped the chair behind me with one hand, trying to anchor myself from doing what I so desperately wanted.

"The club needs ye darlin', ye ready to go?" My voice was hoarse with desire. She pouted for a second, and laughed as my eyes dropped to her lips automatically. This woman knew what she had done to me and enjoyed putting on the whole show. If she was already mine, I would have made sure she paid for it once we got home, but she wasn't so I catalogued it in my mind to make sure she paid for it dearly when we finally took that step.

"Oh I suppose Filip." She turned to look at Sadie, who was checking me out from head to toe.

Sadie then smiled and giggled, "Damn A, you weren't kidding were you. He is definitely a keeper."

My eyes snapped to Aella's as I realized they had been talking about me earlier, Aella smiled and laughed.

"Yeah, I know. He has to work for it though." Winking at me, she helped Sadie out of the pub. I settled Aella's and Sadie's bill as well as paying for my shot.

When I made it out of the pub Sadie was sitting in the back of a taxi and waving at me. The taxi took off down the road and I turned to find Aella against the wall smoking.

"You sped up here on that thing didn't you?" I just shrugged and grabbed her helmet and gloves from her bike. Handing them to her I grabbed her cigarette out of her lips and took the last few drags. Tossing it, and throwing my helmet on I climbed on my bike.

As Aella climbed on the back of my Dyna, I had to resist groaning again. The feeling of her thighs against mine and her sly move of slowly sliding her hands across my chest combined with still being turned on from her show inside of the pub. All of it had me praying on focusing on the road and getting her back in time. There was no way I'd take advantage of her intoxication by going that far. Not after the kiss this morning and the small amount of progress I had made.

The drive back to Charming was difficult, but peaceful. It was difficult focusing on the road as Aella had moved her hands on either side of my waist under my kutte. It became peaceful after the first hour, Aella finally started to calm down in her quest of distracting me. Instead she shifted to curling around my form and allowing her head to rest against my back. On the straighter parts of the road I would let my hand slip inside my kutte and place it over hers. In return she would snuggle deeper into my back. I tried to memorize the feel of her body against mine, her hands on my waist, and her scent surrounding me mixing with the scent of the Harley. I knew as soon as Charming came to view, her walls would snap in place, and right now it actually felt like we were a couple. I saw the desire and need to watch me squirm in the pub, meaning she did want me. I saw her allow herself to be vulnerable and enjoy it as she was the center of attention in the pub. I even witnessed her mocking me with her eyes, knowing I wouldn't do anything but loving every minute of it anyways. A very familiar phrase popped in my head as I knew we were only 10 minutes outside of the Welcome to Charming sign. This woman would be the death of me.

Sure enough as the sign passed us, she removed her hands from under my kutte and took an independent position. Leaning away from me and bracing herself against the back of the bike. Only experienced riders could still maintain the balance of the ride while doing this. But I knew it was her need in allowing herself to shut me out again as Charming came into view. So with the last 10 minutes of the ride to St. Thomas in front of me, I felt undeniably colder as her body only made contact with her thighs.

Again my heart felt the cold and emptiness settle in, I really hoped she would learn to open up to me. I wasn't sure how long I could keep putting myself through this.

St. Thomas came into view and I located Jax's bike, sending a silent prayer for hope that the club had somehow found the last 15k. Parking my bike, I noticed Aella still wobbled as she walked, but not very noticeably. She looked almost sober, except for the small amount of glaze still covering her eyes. She lit a cigarette as we started our walk up to the main doors.

"Ye okay Aella?" She stopped and turned to look at me. Her walls completely back up, she allowed a small smirk.

"I'm fine Filip." She turned to walk away as I caught her wrist softly, she again turned to look at me. I was going to pull her into my arms, to hug her, if not to calm her then to calm my own emptiness taking over. I needed her to be the woman I knew was hiding under those walls. I missed that woman, and as I felt my heart breaking while watching her shrug off my hold, I knew I was in love with that woman.

Aella-

I had to walk away from him, the look in his eyes, his hand touching my bare skin, his smell still surrounding me. The memories of how he looked at me while I danced and lip sang to the crowd. The desire and need in his eyes. Everything had caused an internal battle to allow him to help me. To teach me to feel again, and to kiss him with everything I had. I knew I was falling for Filip fast, and I was grasping at any method to slow it down, but I knew my heart was inevitably his. It scared the shit out of me.

But the look he gave me on the way into St. Thomas, after stopping me with a hold on my wrist, he may not have known it but there it was. My fear staring me back in his own eyes. His eyes were filled with need, sadness, and love. My heart ached for him and I chose to save myself at that moment.

It was going to be a long time before I allowed myself to be Filip's. Even if my heart already belonged to him.

Walking into St. Thomas, I made my way up to the baby unit, Filip right behind me. The alcohol in my system was almost completely gone, from the emotional roller coaster of the song, the dancing, and the riding with Filip, I sobered pretty quickly. As I pushed through the doors to the baby unit I found Tara, Jax, and Gemma sitting in the waiting room. I hugged Jax and Tara before Gemma started to lay into me with questions.

"Momma, I'm fine. Just got caught up in LA." Gemma went to ask a question and I cut her off. "No I will not tell you what is in LA, not yet at least. Lets say tonight I allowed myself to escape in some alcohol. I'm fine, now stop." Gemma gave a huff of frustration and nodded, a smile broke across her face.

"You know I love you, that's all."

"Where is Abel?" I looked to Jax as I asked the question but he didn't hear me, he and Filip were deep in a heated conversation in the corner of the waiting room. Looking back at Gemma who just shrugged, almost in sync with Tara's shrug I walked over to the boys.

I tapped Jax's shoulder, he stopped talking abruptly and looked to me with surprise at my being behind him. I motioned into the side waiting room and drug him and Filip by their kuttes, pushing them into chairs and slamming the door shut in one move.

"Now, you will tell me what is going on, as I was just interrupted in my fun in LA with the excuse of Club Business."

Jax gave Filip a pointed look, "What ….I had to tell the lass somet'in. Otherwise she wouldn'ta come."

Jax just shook his head, "The club had to raise 200k for the Irish gun deal by tonight, only we have come up 15k short. I was just filling in Filip on the fact that Clay is beside himself as well as the rest of the club."

I nodded and sat down on the other side of Filip and Jax, "That's the reason you boys have a stick up your ass?"Jax and Filip's heads snapped up, their mouths dropping open. "Look all you had to do was ask, I'll loan the club the 15k. Problem solved."

Jax stood up and started to pace, "Sis that's a hefty loan, you just got out of the military, you might need that money."

I jumped up from my chair and stood in his path, causing him to stop right in front of me. Knowing my eyes would take on the scary dark blue look that scared most men, I poked his chest with each word to emphasize my point.

"I said, Problem. Solved. Now call my Godfather's grumpy ass and get him here. I'm going to borrow Filip's bike since he made me leave mine in La, and I'll be right back."

"Ye said ye are gonna do wat?!" Filip stood then too looking at me with dark eyes, I stepped until I was touching him chest to chest. Our faces a breath away, and I allowed a knowing look with softness to enter my eyes.

His body shuddered as I slid my hand up to his chest waiting for him to put his keys in them.

"I said I'm going to borrow your motorcycle since you made me leave mine in LA, Filip." I smiled at him as he slowly pulled the keys from his pocket and laid them in my hand. Our foreheads now touching I chuckled and leaned up to kiss the scar on the side of his cheek, barely touching the corner of his mouth.

Already opening the doors, as both men just stood mouths open and rooted to their spot in shock, I laughed.

I'll be right back boys."

Filip-

Standing rooted in the spot that Aella had left us in, Jax turned to me with an incredulous look on his face.

Smirking, I chuckled "Ye wonder why I'm so strung out lately? Brother, your godsister is one hell offa woman."

Jax just laughed and walked out to the doors leading back into the waiting room of the baby unit, with a last shake of my head I followed.

Under normal circumstances I would be utterly terrified of someone else driving my bike around town, but Aella wasn't normal circumstances. I knew she had been riding for some time and even if she hadn't, she was one hell of a rider. So with my mind surprisingly at ease, although still keeping track of time, I waited with Jax and Gemma as Tara had gone to get the doctor for Abel. Part of me was a little worried Aella would be upset for missing the big baby holding session, but knowing her she would make up for it later.

Jax had already called Clay and let him know the good news, apparently Clay had the same concerns as Jax but relented with less of a fight after making a comment about her always being stubborn. It looked like with a couple of hours to spare before the Irish meet, things were finally going to settle down. Maybe I could go over to Aella's and cook her a meal, try and figure out why she was torturing me lately and maybe even work out what was in LA. The woman was filled with mystery and so far my curiosity hadn't gotten the best of me, but the LA deal was one thing that had me brimming with questions.

About an hour later, scuffling of feet could be heard coming down the hall, Jax and Gemma stood as Tara and the doctor met up with them. After a few words with the parents, the doctor left to go and retrieved Abel from the tank. As we all stood, Clay and the rest of club minus Piney, Opie, and the prospects walked into the hallway. As the doctor laid Abel into Jax's waiting arms, the boys started to cheer, quietly out of respect for the other babies, but giving the future Son a proper celebration in health.

As Jax looked around, I wasn't sure if anyone else caught it, but his eyes brimmed with tears and he had such a pure look of happiness. I knew then that whatever the club held in store for the future our VP was going to do right by this boy, something I never had the chance to do with my daughter.

Jax was always the closest person to me in the Sons, besides Juice and maybe Tig. But I would do anything for Jax, and I knew as soon as Clay stepped down, I would be made his right hand. I was prepared to lay down my life for every secret and threat that came this way, if not for the club then for the VP now holding his son in his arms. Jax was the son I never had and I could feel pride welling inside of me, I had faith in the club because I had faith in Jax.

Aella-

Filip's bike was definitely different from mine, my muscle was more bottom heavy. Filips was definitely lighter and slightly top heavy, but it was a beauty and rode like it. I enjoyed the feel of a different bike under me as I flew into Charming, making it to the bank as they were closing. Apparently the banker remembered me from the time of my house deals being closed out, because he stopped closing up and held the door open as I walked in, a smile on his face. Apparently Charming respected big deal makers and remembered them, must be essential considering the economy down here was still stuck in the 60's, and I loved it.

"Sorry to make you stay later than normal, I'm sure you're ready to head home." We sat at his office and he smiled before sipping the coffee he must have bought for closing up.

"No problem ma'am, my nephew is active Army right now, so I knew when you came to town I'd definitely look forward to anymore business you had coming my way. Its an honor."

I allowed a smile to grace my lips, not sure if it was genuine or not. I wasn't used to people knowing about my military life, as I wasn't used to being in the civilian world. So I brushed it off and explained my needs for this evening.

After some paperwork and a great deal of fake charming and small talk on my part, the banker finally handed me the 15k in neat stacks and I slid them into the banker's bag he was willing to give me. After expressing my thanks and even shaking hands I felt like I had definitely exhausted my fake socialism for one day. Climbing on the bike, I didn't bother with the helmet, instead lighting a cigarette and pealing out on Filip's bike.

As I passed the kid's store, seeing they were still open I pulled a U-turn and parked. I did feel bad for missing the big baby reveal and thought maybe finding a present for my nephew would be good enough to make up for it. If not to start my record as the aunt who spoils him silly. So looking through the store I found a small bear that had a motorcycle embroidered sweatshirt with cute little glasses, having to laugh I picked it up and made my way to checkout. Definitely the first present and perfect for the family this poor kid had been born into.

Sliding my purchase into Filip's saddle bag with my money, I again smoked on the last portion of my journey back to St. Thomas. As soon as I spent time with Abel and made sure the money went to the club, Filip WOULD be driving me back to get my bike.

Walking into the hallway leading into the waiting area I had left them in, I could hear the crowd of sons talking. As I walked through the doors I found Sons everywhere, it was as if every one of them had showed up to give Jax support and congratulate Abel's health. Again I was astounded at the amount of family in this world, and how much I had missed it without knowing it had even existed. With this thought my mood soured a little, but I had to make sure the money was delivered as well as the bear.

So I pushed my way to Jax in the middle of the crowd and looked at the most beautiful baby boy I had ever laid eyes on, complete with Jax's nose and blue eyes. My heart broke, I hadn't been around children in awhile, and the last time I had it was in a hospital for volunteer hours. This baby sensed my unease and motioned with his little chubby hands for me to pick him up, Jax laughed and handed him over. I couldn't look away from Abel and the crowd quieted all of the sudden, I didn't give it much thought as Abel grabbed ahold of one of my fingers. Finally when the doctor walked back in and broke the moment, I realized every Son had their eyes on me and Abel, as I realized the reason as to why I handed the baby to Jax delicately and shoved the money into Clay's hand. Without a word or a glance back I almost jogged down to the exit doors and out of the hospital.

Finding a bench at a nearby picnic area, I allowed myself to slump on top of the table and light a cigarette. Taking a deep inhale of the smoke I started to rub the tears from my eyes, and try and correct the mess I had become. That baby had broke me right in front of the whole club and without my knowledge I had begun to cry softly while cooing at Abel. It was the first time that had ever happened, and I promised myself it would be my last. I felt vulnerable and I hated it, I hated that every brother of mine had seen it, and I hated that because of that baby and Filip I was starting to feel again.

Emotions were something I had learned early on during my military career to hide, it didn't matter whether it was happiness, shock, anger, or sadness. You just hid them, no matter what, let no one know what was going on in your mind and you would be better off in the long run.

I broke from my thoughts as I heard the sound of boots making their way to me, I knew none of the staff work something like that and knew it was heavy enough to be male. Guessing before he even made it to me, I turned from him so that he would see my back.

"Go away Filip, now is not the time." The boots stopped right outside of the picnic table, and I took deep breaths trying to assure myself that I had all my emotions under control. I knew as soon as I gazed into his eyes, everything would come rushing at me at once. So I slowly turned to look at him but found him leaning against the support post of the pavilion looking away. Allowing my gaze to take in his expression as well as his tense stance I knew what he had seen had shocked him.

"I'm fine, it was something that was bound to happen. Especially considering it was my first time…."

With that he looked to meet my eyes, his mouth slightly open.

"Ye first time what darlin'?"

"My first time holding a baby."

He looked away and bit his lip, I didn't understand what was going through his mind but I knew if I asked it might reopen the pandora's box I had just previously managed to shut. So I finished my cigarette and stood beside him.

"Ready to go back in, or can we go get my bike now?"

Filip turned and rose to his full height, suddenly I was aware he was close, and that with my height having a couple inches added as he was on bare ground, it left us at eye level. The deepest dark brown pools looked into mine, and I felt the air rush out as I saw the emotions swirling in them. Love, patience, need, want, understanding, questions. All of them pertaining to me, and I could feel my body start to drift towards his. Realizing what was going to happen I broke from my reverie and turned away, acting as if it was just to grab my cigs, but more to allow myself to think straight. I didn't want to keep doing this with him when I wasn't sure I was ready for it, I wasn't even sure I was fully over what I had seen.

Brushing past him, and retreating to his motorcycle not allowing him to answer my previous question, I knew he was still standing until a sigh escaped and I could once again hear his familiar steps following. Throwing my helmet on and my gloves I waited next to the bike as he got ready.

This time there were no wandering hands, no hidden brushes, no curling around each other, my defenses were back up and I planned to keep it that way for now. Until I knew what I was ready for and until I felt like I was stable enough to allow it to happen. Clearly from the breakdown in the hospital, the bar date with Sadie, and so many other things since I'd been home I wasn't sure now was the time to get involved with anyone. Especially with a man I cared so deeply for, I didn't want to hurt him, and most of all I felt like maybe he was settling for the new chick in town. I truly felt he deserved better than a scarred old war vet with enough mental problems to write a book.


	10. Chapter 10

Filip-

Having just dropped Aella off, I allowed my mind to think about her actions as of late. She was driving me crazy, her mystery, her need to protect everyone and anything from her vulnerability, her teasing as of late, that kiss that beautiful morning. Everything was draining him of any hope and willpower he had. Maybe he should just chalk it up to the fact that she deserved better than him and move on. His defenses had come crumpling down around that woman, but a brick wall revolved around her heart almost all of the time. When it did crumple, and he caught a glimpse of the soft and broken woman underneath, it would erect back up within seconds if not minutes. He had never met such a stubborn, beautiful, strong and smart woman, everything about her was sexy and held a power over him unlike any he had experienced.

He had just made it home when his phone had started to vibrate in his Kutte pocket. Killing the engine to his Dyna, he slid the offending object from it's pocket.

"Aye?"

"Need you at the clubhouse pronto brother, your medical skills are needed."

"Aye, be ther' soon."

Sighing, as he slid his helmet back on, and starting the bike back up he sped out of his apartment complex and turned back onto main street. Hopefully Aella's night would remain uninterrupted.

He pulled into the clubhouse ten minutes later, already sliding his medical kit from his bike. Glad he had remembered to restock it from Aella's last incident, he strode into the clubhouse to be greeted with chaos. Gemma was gesturing wildly while speaking to Clay and groaning could be heard coming from church. Feeling a slight panic rise in his chest he swiftly moved to the clubhouse as Clay fell in behind him, opening the church doors Clay began to brief him on the latest with the Irish.

After recognizing Cameron on the table face down and seeing Juice holding a pile of blankets over the Irishmen's ass, he allowed autopilot to kick into gear while placing his medical kit on the table. As he slid gloves on his hands, he heard the distinct mention of Aella coming from within the clubhouse. As Cameron groaned again in pain, he didn't have enough time to allow himself to question why she was being mentioned at this hour.

Removing the bundle of blankets over Cameron's ass he started to work at disinfecting and attempting to locate the slugs.

An hour had passed when Jax came rushing into the clubhouse apparently having heard what had happened. As he opened the church doors I could see his eyes widen as Clay informed him of the death of McKeevy and the shoot out that occurred during the Irish meet.

I looked to Jax as he motioned to Cameron as if to ask how he was doing, "This is way out of my wheel house Jax, I need a doc."

He nodded and without another word strolled out of the church doorway. Hearing Gemma inquire as to where he was going, and hearing a response about getting a surgeon Filip knew that he was on his way to speak to Tara.

Finally locating the slug deepest in Cameron's ass, he let a yell of triumph out as he pulled the slug free. Juice gave a panicked gasp as blood started to squirt from the hole in Cameron's ass. I hastily grabbed juice's hand and forced his fingers to pinch the hole, apparently the bullet had been lodged in an artery. Groaning I looked at the clubhouse clock on the wall above the bar, it had been almost 2 hours since Jax had been here, where the hell was Tara.

Deciding not to attempt to do anything more, since I knew it was out of my expertise field I left Juice after giving explicit instructions not to move a damn muscle. Cleaning myself up, passing a bottle of Jameson between the half drunk, half delirious Irishman on the table, I kept a close eye on Juice. He looked tired and alert at the same time with the simple task of keeping his fingers pinched on one simple slimy artery. The poor boy looked even a pale at the thought of his fingers being in the man's ass.

Suddenly the Irishman awoke with a groggy groan, I passed him the bottle of whisky allowing him to take another sip. Suddenly he began to speak.

"Am I goin' ta die Scot?"

Almost allowing a sneer to form at the nickname I looked at him sideways from my position against the wall, "Never heard ofa man dyin' from a wound to his ass Cammy."

"Well Toats a releaf. Listen, I needja do a favor fer me, fer da IRA."

"Okay brother, what's up?"

"The dockmaster, 'e killed McKeevy after we refused ta bend to 'is new rules if we wanted our guns to keep commin'"

"Aye, ye'll have plenta time ta take care of that later Cam."

"Na' needya ta do t'e 'onors, take 'im out."

"Aye, we'll bring it up to Clay. Don't you worry."

The Irishman passed out as Juice looked to me with a questioning glance, "Take him out, does he mean like 'take him out' take him out?"

I almost laughed, but due to exhaustion and a slight irritation at the boys innocence after being part of the Sons for so long, I looked him in the eye and allowed my sarcasm to do its work.

"Nah, I think he means dinner and a movie."

As I went to take another sip of whiskey, it almost ended up across the Irishman's head as a laugh sounded from the church doors. My eyes moved to confirm my already brewing realization, my eyes laid on Aella leaning against the open Church doors. Arms crossed, hair high in a long pony tail and a change of clothes, she looked refreshed and tired at the same time.

I moved to stand in front of her, my prayer for her undisturbed night had apparently gone unanswered.

"Whattya doin' here darlin'?"

She shrugged as she kept a blank face, "Heard you were playing doctor, thought I'd come check it out."

The last time I played doctor entered through my mind as I took another swig of Jameson. She watched my actions with inquiring eyes, and I looked away knowing it was judgment more than worry.

"Shouldn't the doctor be sober for his operation?"

"Not when this doc can't do anymor' than I already have."

She allowed the conversation to end, and I welcomed the change as she spoke to Juice asking if he needed anything. Not hearing what was exchanged between the two, and with the amount of whiskey I had consumed, not particularly finding it in me to care. I slid into the seat and lazily laid my head against the coffee table staring at the furthest wall.

As my eyes started to droop I heard a slight commotion and Cameron's answering groan, in the time it took me to raise my head I almost groaned at the sight before me. Cameron's artery was now being held by Aella as Juice gave her a desperate hug and left church, no doubt to clean up and get some sleep. It was coming on 5 am and Tara still had yet to make an appearance. My patience was running thin, and I couldn't help but feel my frustration build even more as I realized Aella wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Standing, swaying lightly but maintaining a grip on the Jameson bottle, I looked to Aella.

"Ye can handle yerself righ't?"

"Yes Filip, I'm a big girl."

He walked out of the clubhouse for a smoke without another word to anybody, her sarcastic response making him almost growl. Her distant and cold attitude towards him had remained the entire ride back to her motorcycle, ending abruptly as she climbed upon her's leaving him in the dust. He had allowed her an escape knowing she needed time, but having felt the emptiness and depression creep upon him on the ride up paired with her need to escape his presence, his depression was starting to take the form of frustration and even a little anger.

He needed a handful of cigarettes and more of the Jameson in his hand, and he needed it now.

Aella-

I stood pinching the artery and allowed my thoughts to fall upon Filip, his attitude as well as slight intoxication meant I had hurt him with my distance on the way to my bike. He must have known that my defenses were on high gear after that display with Abel, but apparently the kiss and the teasing was starting to take their toll on him. Who could blame him? I could tell he thought he cared for me, but I needed him to realize that he deserved better. Even if my heart was telling me something completely different, I had to save him from a life of despair attempting to make me happy. I wasn't worth it, and he needed to be pushed away. So maybe the flash of anger with my response as well as his distance now was a good start.

Or maybe the ache and pain in my heart was telling me I was making the worst mistake of my life. Maybe he would be able to handle my past, and everything that followed with, scars physical and emotional.

Shaking my head, and realizing I was having an internal debate about my love life while being finger deep in some Irish ass almost made me laugh.

The Irishman awoke, I realized that I may have laughed after all.

"'ows my ass?"

"Well I'm currently finger deep in it, if that explains the situation any."

"Oh, well it seems I'm being blessed with a lass's attentions tonig't after all." I could see him straining to see my reflection in the window directly in front of him, "And w'o may I 'ave the pleasure of being fingered in ta ass by?"

"Names Aella, nice to make your acquaintance, or whatever you'd like to call this."

Suddenly a piercing set of eyes met mine in the window, and I suddenly felt a chill run up my spine. The look in that piercing gaze was a knowing one of recognition and curiosity. Not liking where this was going, and only having my fears confirmed by the next sentence uttered by the Irishman, my stomach started to flip.

"So you're t'e one Jimmy can't stop talking abou' eh?"

Suddenly offering my time to help this man's life had been the worst idea as of late. I knew that this Irishman must have a certain level of loyalty to know of the woman who almost shot him out of Charming. Which had the wheels clicking in my already working mind, developing a theory as to why Jimmy picked this man for McKeevy's replacement.

I had already been informed of the task asked by the Irishman as retaliation for their previous Irish contact's murder. Clay was considering allowing me the honors of taking him out, as the club didn't want anymore heat with the PD. A murder would certainly do just that, but if it came from miles out by the hands of a skilled sniper no person would ever be able to link the club to the hit. A sniper was more the lines of a disgruntled IRA member or maybe even a rival gang. I had allowed Clay time to consider it, he had to at least play the protective father part, but I knew without a doubt come tomorrow I'd be pulling the trigger.

Now as I allowed my mind to process the remarks from the now unconscious Irishman below me, I knew Jimmy had picked a more loyal man out of his inner circle to hold the grounds in Charming. Maybe even to spy a little on the woman he had been unsuccessful in attempting to drag back to the IRA. I wasn't stupid, I knew the information that Filip had left out. A sniper of my skills would have been an asset to Jimmy and with the added benefit of hurting Filip it made sense that he would attempt what he did, however stupid it may have been. However, I doubted the club knew of 's involvement with Jimmy's current plans. I was now deciding whether maybe it could be used to my advantage if I kept an eye on this man alone, or if maybe I needed to keep my brother's in the loop. Recon, after all, was one of the favorite aspects of my military life. It would be easy enough to find out how to use Cameron as a means to an end to get to Jimmy.

But something in my mind screamed to involve the club, to keep my now family and close brothers in the loop. Not to do anything irrational and to follow the promise I had made with Jax and Clay.

As Filip strolled into the clubhouse once again, I made eye contact with him, he ignored it and kept walking by to his dorm rooms. I could tell by his stature that he was definitely more wasted than when he took his smoke break, and that the unrestrained anger directed at me was from the feelings I currently attempted to shove aside was in full effect. Suddenly, a fierce desire to end Jimmy fell into my mind and seeped into my heart, I wanted to protect Filip.

For right now, that club would know Cameron as the link to the IRA and nothing more. I would keep his drunken pain induced slip to myself and allow Cameron to fulfill his no doubt "promise of spying on me". Using his clumsiness to my advantage by setting a bug in his phone, I would locate Jimmy and take him out as I had planned from the moment of hearing his inexcusable attempt at breaking Filip. Something I couldn't understand the club allowing to go unanswered as is, whether it was before Filip's time in SAMCRO or not.

Filip-

As my nauseous state started to grow in intensity I decided I might as well get the puking done and over with. Apparently due to my lack of food and amount of whiskey, drowning my sorrow had its consequences.

I braced myself against the back of the garage and induced puking out the last of the bottle of Jameson I had just chugged. Feeling disgusted with myself as I saw that from where the gloves had ended I still had blood smeared on my arms, I turned away after wiping my mouth and made my way into the dorms.

Walking through the doors of the clubhouse and not being able to stop my eyes from sweeping into Church to check up on Aella, I saw that she was watching me as well. As the anger and frustration made its way into my eyes, I looked away breaking the connection at an attempt to hide it from her, as well as to maintain my balance safely to the dorm rooms as the alcohol still pulsed in my system heavily.

Reaching my dorm rooms I had to refrain from slamming the door. Stripping as I fumbled my way into the bathroom, I turned the shower onto its highest level of heat and waited for the steam to build. Staring at myself in the mirror I had to resist the sudden urge to punch the offending thing in, at the moment all it did was remind me why she wouldn't want to be mine and how much more she deserved. I hated her for it, for kissing me as she did that morning, for working her way into my heart, for not allowing herself to feel for me as I felt for her. For listening to Jax's plea of stupid comments of salvation and love. But mostly, for allowing my heart to open to someone who had higher defense than I ever managed to construct.

_I lay flat on my back as I awoke, a soft smile spreading over my face as I felt the familiar warmth from that morning next to me. Taking in my surroundings and seeing my dorm room around me, I allowed my gaze to turn to the woman next to me. Aella lay curled against my side, her dark brown hair fanned out about her sleeping form, flowing over my shoulder as she had curled on my shoulder. I slid a little over to allow my free hand to brush the hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear. Her beautiful blue eyes peeked open and a small smile graced her full lips as she purred in content. As her eyes opened a little more she moved so that her face was closer to mine and her hand was fully splayed over my heart. _

_"mmmm morning handsome." _

_I bit my lip to keep from moaning at the compliment, smiling instead, "Morning beautiful."_

_She suddenly moved so that her form hovered over mine, her hair falling as curtain on the right side of her face. One of her hands traced the scars I had despised for years on my cheeks, as she skimmed over my lips they parted releasing a sigh. This woman had me with the slightest touches and I felt like a horny teenager all over again. She suddenly laid her palm on my cheek cradling it so that her thumb remained on the scar, as she leant forward the breath left my body and awaited her lips. The brush of her lips against mine so delicately had both of us pausing. I waited for the other shoe to drop, for her defenses to fall into place, for her to inevitably pull away. Instead she moaned as her hand slid into my hair threading her fingers through it, and I moaned in response as I started to move my lips against hers allowing my own hand to thread into her hair. As the kiss grew with passion I began feeling fear at this sweet moment ending. She must have sensed it as she pulled away slightly, her lips a breath away from mine._

_"Please Filip, no more walls, no more pain, I want you to love me." _

_Hearing that sentence broke though all fear as I crushed my lips to hers allowing everything I felt for her to be shown by my actions. Flipping her over so that i now was above her, i skimmed the scar on her face with a finger as i broke away from her lips. She moaned in disappointment, but gasped as I moved to kiss the tattoo under the scar. She arched her back allowing me more access, and I wanted to taste every part of her, to know every inch of this woman. As my hands started to skim up her waist and slide under her shirt, I paused for permission. She moaned and arched into them with a whispered plea. My right hand held her waist and I shifted my weight to the side of her and allowed my left hand to slide under her shirt. I brushed my fingertips along the swell of her breast, pleasantly surprised she was without a bra. _

I awoke to banging on the door, and groaned as I realized it had been a dream the whole time. With a very pissed off growl and a hand raked through my hair I realized she had moved from haunting me in reality to now haunting me in my dreams. Great, just what I bloody needed.

Shoving all thoughts aside of Aella, I had had enough. This was done, I would no longer be the teenage boy I felt like while pining after some female. Distance and time would be all I needed to rebuild those defenses, and I would go back to my croweating days. The simpler times when my heart didn't pound out of my chest, or ache, throb dully, or send jolting shocks throughout my body. I was tired of feeling, and wanted to return to a couple of weeks ago when I knew nothing of Aella. I be damned if I broke for another female again.

Jumping out of the bed after yelling for the knocker to leave, that I would be right out, hastily dressing and throwing on my boots. Grabbing my kutt before leaving the room. Seeing Happy leaning against the wall with a knowing smirk on his face, it took all I had not to punch his face in, being in no mood.

"Lemme guess, doc fixed up Cameron, so now we have church?"

"The Irishman lives for another day. Clay called it in 20 minutes. Figured the amount of whiskey you downed last night you needed coffee before brother."

"Hmph", at least Happy wasn't one of the dumber brothers who would ask questions. Walking up to the bar I slouched in a stool as a croweater handed me a fresh cup of coffee. Staring into my cup of coffee allowing myself to stare off and get lost in the nothingness my mind had taken, I almost smiled how nice it was to be back to normal. When a plate slid the cup out of my view containing slices of toast already covered in melted butter, and two eggs. Following the all too familiar hand, meeting the blue eyes in my dreams, my walls almost buckled. As my knees started to shake slightly I stood, narrowing my eyes while maintaining our connection and allowing a sneer to form on my face.

"Not hungry." It came out as a growl, which was not what I intended, but as the shock and questioning glare washed over Aella's face I almost smiled in satisfaction. Walking away to smoke in peace with my coffee before the day got confusing and chaotic.

Aella-

I had been making myself a plate of breakfast when I heard his heavy shuffling boots making their way down the hall. Seeing his expression and taking in the fact that he still walked as if his body was too heavy to move, I doubled my breakfast making him a plate as well. Seeing him stare endlessly into his cup of coffee had questions floating through my head. I shook them away realizing they were no longer my business, if I was effectively going to push him away I couldn't care.

Sliding the plate under his gaze which caused the coffee to end up out of his view, his body jerked to attention. Watching his pools of brown glide up my arm to meet my eyes I was shocked to my core at what I saw. Pushing him away had been the plan, but as he roughly stood and claimed he wasn't hungry I allowed my shock to seep through my mask. Apparently he had a mask in place, as I saw anger, deep loathing for himself or me I wasn't sure, and hurt seep into his eyes. The impact of that glare had me tightening my jaw to keep from breaking down right under his stare. At the last second of him turning to leave I was sure I saw satisfaction in his eyes from my reaction. I had never been so successful in such a short time, it was a victorious feeling that was imbalanced by the deep breaking feeling that rocked my core emanating from my heart. He truly was done with me, the way it should be.

Flopping into the stool hap slapped me on the shoulder, apparently having seen the scene before him, "Don't worry, Chibby ain't ever a morning person."

Nodding I walked out, straight to my truck, slamming the door and turning the music to full blast. I sped from the clubhouse without another thought. Reaching the house I had allowed all of my self loathing, anger, and hurt to build. I marched into my garage and grabbed my axe. First I would take my anger out on some fire wood, the full body work out would help cool me down. Second, I would finish the shed, hopefully helping me to focus on what needed to be done, maybe give me some time to understand this was right. Lastly, I would grab my targets, spread them out high up in trees and have some good old fashioned rifle training.

If the club needed me they would call, If I didn't hear it I was sure they would just send Gemma anyways.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hopefully I don't offend anyone as I sort of twist the Son's of Anarchy plot. These next few chapters are completely different from the series and deletes some major events from happening. I plan to make them up with a few more of my own, so don't worry. Much love, and PLEASE REVIEW!_

Aella-

Three days had passed. The day after storming home from the club I had called Clay and Jax to the house. Telling him I need to separate me from the club because of my PTSD issues. Jax of course pulled me aside afterwards to call me out on my bullshit, knowing that I was pushing Filip away. After effectively telling him to shove it and that I loved that he cared like a good younger brother, I told him I would take care of any kills the club needed and that would be that for awhile. I needed space and he didn't like it but agreed.

That afternoon I had received the text of where and when the asshole who killed the previous IRA connection would be located. Getting my gear together, spending an hour scoping the place out. I took the shot in the middle of his climax with his black mistress. I watched as his blood spattered the wall behind him and heard the screams from his shocked lover from 800 meters away.

Stopping for coffee and waiting for the young mistress to evacuate the hotel, I slithered into the hotel, making sure everything unique about my appearance was covered. Digging my bullet from the wall, I trashed the place. Making it look like someone had ransacked the place after the kill. Satisfied with my work, I left, a small smile gracing my lips.

Now 2 days later, I had spent my time practicing my aim through various techniques with my rifle, pistols, throwing knives, as well as other assortments of weapons. Jimmy and I were going to be meeting eventually, whether here or Ireland, and I wanted to make sure my training had held. Unfortunately, that included my physical training as well. Falling back on my boot camp days I tried maintaining my no booze, low amount of cigarette clause by dipping occasionally. With the stress and the occasional thought towards Filip I had ended up drinking both nights. Overall, I felt confidant that Jimmy had fucked with the wrong woman, and he would soon be meeting the reaper.

Filip and I had no contact after the clubhouse that day. That was perfect as far as I was concerned, it allowed me to focus on my shed, and my training.

As I was laying down the first layer of shingles on the shed, almost 30 ft. up, my phone vibrated against my thigh. Sliding it out I groaned at the incoming call, Gemma had been calling at least three to four times a day. As I only answered maybe twice a day, she was becoming persistent with her questions of what Filip did and why I couldn't see this was hurting both of us. Everyone in the club was apparently fully aware of the budding love between Filip and I. Which led to questions directed at Gemma daily, of which she wanted to be able to answer.

Ignoring the call wasn't smart as it was the third one of the day, but I really didn't feel like talking while being precariously perched on a 2x4 30ft in the air. I continued adding another shingle as my phone vibrated again, grumbling about annoying fucking mothers, the vibrating stopped. Which signified a text instead of a call. Once again sliding the phone from view and seeing the screen I had a kill the club needed handled. I flipped the phone open and text Jax where to meet for info. About to slide the phone back in its pocket, he sent the answer. _Clubhouse, ASAP._ My mouth set in a determined scowl as my eyes let all life drain from them, here goes nothing. Sliding down the pole I had set up by the shed I climbed in the truck and drove to the house.

I would need the motorcycle's release, my frustration sure to build after having to deal with curious glances from all my brothers at my absence. Not bothering with a helmet as my hair was in a messy bun, I shoved my gloves on with my vest and checked my pistols for ammo. Starting the bike I allowed him to warm up, it had been a couple of days.

The ride to the clubhouse was breezy and a well needed distraction, making a mental note to drive the Harley more, a small smirk graced my lips as I parked the motorcycle at the side of the garage instead of in the line of motorcycles. Walking into the clubhouse, was a funny feat as I suddenly remembered my apparel.

I had my construction pants on with all the pockets, wearing my tan steel toe work boots. Had a grey Army hoody on that was comfortably too big, with my kutte and pistols poking out, as well as my safety glasses, messy hair and fingerless gloves. I would imagine I looked like something out of a lesbo magazine that would get most woman, if not men hot. Laughing to myself I pushed the clubhouse doors open ignoring the curious glances from the boys in the lot area, and located Jax.

Seeing the one person I had been avoiding successfully bent over the pool table playing a game with Juice, who stood open mouthed staring. I gave Jax a motion with my thumb moving into Church before Filip's attention would be called to my sudden appearance and waited for Jax to meet me there. As Jax closed the doors behind him, I took my seat that was originally placed at the table for me. After grabbing a file from the filing cabinet he filled me in on the Mayans MC, who were responsible for the planned hit on Clay and Darby.

I slid the folder in front of me and slid a cigarette out of my kutte, lighting it and sucking in a good drag as I memorized the picture of the Mayan I needed to take out. He was handsome, but had nothing on Filip. I sneered at the unwanted thought and studied the info on where and when, making sure my memory was working I slid the folder away repeating all the details to Jax by heart.

"Sounds like you got it Sis." I nodded about to put my cig out when he cleared his throat, my hand stopped midair and I returned the cigarette to my mouth. Knowing I would regret putting it out with the turn this conversation was about to take.

"He needs you, has been on a path of destruction since the last time he saw you. He has taken anything down we put in his path, ironically exactly what you are doing. Please come to your senses, I believe he being older means you must be the wiser one right? The-…"

Slapping the cigarette painfully into the ashtray and standing in one movement, I pierced my brother with what I was sure to be the deadliest look he had ever seen.

"Listen to me and do it carefully Jackson. Filip and I are not happening, never will. You may be right, I may love him with all my heart but he needs something better. He needs someone to help him, not drag him down. If you or Gemma don't stop berating me about him, I. WILL. LEAVE. CHARMING. Just make sure you think about that before you bring this up again. Got it?"

I brushed past him to the door and turned to mutter that the kill would be taken care of with no cause of worry.

I roughly pulled the straps to my saddle bags and yanked my iPod out, slamming my headphones into my ears and picking the song I needed on replay, I made sure the volume was up full blast. As Gemma stepped out of her office and started to swiftly make her way to me, I bobbed my head once so that my safety glasses fell in place, while starting the motorcycle within seconds. Right as she reached the front of my bike I backed the bike up enough to clear her and burned rubber on my way out. Smirking as I could hear the boys screaming about the loss of my helmet and not giving hellos or goodbyes. They would learn.

_I fear the fever _

_Deep in my bones_

_It runs electric_

_It draws me home_

_It knows the weakness_

_Deep in my soul_

_It keeps me hostage_

_I'm never alone._

_Maybe you should go?_

_Baby can't control_

_Maybe you should go?_

_Baby can't control_

I decided I needed to go see Max, I had already packed everything I need for the hit in my saddle bags including my extra ammo. My rifle was after all attached to my bike. So doing a mental check on time, I would have an hour with max and still have an hour and a half to spare to set up and prepare. So as I reached the beginning of the beautiful mountain curves, I leaned lower to the Harley and allowed the Muscle to soothe my pain.

_It wants to kill you_

_It wants to tear you apart_

_It wants to thrill you_

_This vengeful love that I've got_

_Wants to consume you _

_Then spit you out_

_I fear the fever, fear the fever_

_Can you feel it now?_

I didn't understand it. Three days had passed, being a sure amount of time for my heart to heal what I had thought I had never allowed in the first place. Seeing him, just the backside of him, knowing he was there. Jax, my stupid fucking brother, trying to tell ME that I HAD to be the wiser of the two and fix it. Apparently Filip wouldn't speak to Gemma and Jax about my actions, otherwise they would know I was the ONE TO CAUSE IT. I could scream I was so fucking pissed, grinding my teeth I attempted to get lost in the song and the mountains.

_I fear the fire_

_Burning below_

_Its gonna trick you_

_Swallow you whole_

_Maybe you should go? _

_Baby can't control_

_It wants to kill you_

_It wants to tear you apart_

_It wants to thrill you_

_This vengeful love that I've got_

_Wants to consume you_

_Then spit you out_

_I fear the fever, fear the fever_

_Can you feel it now? _

I was so fucking tired of feeling anything, I wanted my old unfeeling life back. I wanted my numbness back, I couldn't handle the fucking whirlwind of emotions in my head and heart. Everything was threatening to swallow me whole if I gave in, it was as if I couldn't function with emotions in my life. My heart had thawed thanks to Filip and it was the most excruciatingly painful feeling I had experienced in my entire life, including war. The scars that were ripped open with the feelings for Filip had tore me down one by one, until the feelings for him had become the smallest amount on a scale of justice. One side my pain, the other side my love for Filip and my family. All my pain and guilt had the scales tipped to a painful side of justice for all my victims. My Night terrors were back full force, except each time I remembered losing a brother I now had double the terror as one of the Sons would die the same death. Each time pleading for my help.

_You know you're not safe here_

_I'll only bring you down_

_Can't help you disappear_

_My love, it's too late now_

_You know you're not safe here_

_I'll only bring you down_

_The end is almost near_

_My love, it's too late now_

Taking a 3 hr trip in an hour and 15 minutes was somewhat exhilarating. My hair was a mess, my face stung from the wind, and the song had just ended after playing 15 times on repeat.

Freeing my hair I allowed my still gloved hands to detangle it some as I made my way over to Max. My hands stopped mid threading through my hair as I took in the figure standing before Max's grave. My instincts immediately kicked in, as I kept my eyes on Cameron. I slinked behind a row of graves two rows behind him. Making sure to remain silent but within earshot I finally found the other side of the largest grave directly next to him.

He was still immersed deeply in his conversation, meaning I had been successful with stealth.

"Aye, I'm starin' rig't at it. Max Stride's cross in LA Jimmy. S'e ain't 'ere eit'er."

He nodded and laughed at something said on the other end.

"S'e ain't been around Filip as of late, matter o' fact 'es been a rig't arse, t'inking maybe a lover's quarrel."

"Na' I ain't seen 'er around town eit'er."

"Aye, I can set it up. When."

"Where"

"Got it, Jimmy w'at if s'e don't come. I mean taking Filip like t'at seem desperate."

"Aye, Got it brot'er."

My fist curled so tight I felt the blood dripping in my gloved palms as my nails cut through the leather into the palm of my hands. So they really dug deep huh, they would have had to go through several military files to find Max and his death, especially his burial site. As I followed Cameron at a length, I took a mental photo of the Silver Range Rover, this time committing to memory the license plate. I turned after watching the SUV disappear down the road, and slammed my fist into the tree next to me.

Making my way over to Max's grave I said my silent prayer and kissed his cross.

"It ends soon Max, then I can allow the pain to flow through me and accept the consequences, try and rebuild. Right now I have to be numb, if I don't I won't focus. I need Jimmy dead for any kind of future with my family. Please understand this, I love you bro."

I jumped on my bike and shoved my headphones back in, thinking better of it I pulled my phone and flipped it open. Sending two text messages. _Make sure Filip stays close, in danger. Will meet after the hit and explain. _Sending that one to Jax I hesitated before sending this next one. _Be on alert today, Jimmy in town, _as I sent that reluctantly to Filip, I angrily lit a cigarette. Starting the bike up I took off at a much more than necessary high rate of speed.

The hit took all of 40 minutes with Happy on site to collect the bullet, apparently the whole thing had been arranged by both the Sons and the Mayans. So cleaning up wasn't a problem for me. Which meant getting back to the clubhouse before everyone was completely wasted was a success.

Pulling into the clubhouse I pulled the rifle case from the foot platform and carried it into Church. As I took in who was around I knew who I wanted and why I needed them.

"Juice!"

The poor boy who had been staring once again with his innocent expression, almost jumped to attention at my command.

"Church 5 minutes."

He nodded with an odd expression on his face.

Looking back at Tig with two blonde bimbos on either side, I made eye contact giving him a menacing glare, "You too Tigger."

He nodded as well as I sent Jax a text. _Here. Meet at church in 5._

For this meeting to go smoothly I was going to need all three of them on board and I was going to have my rifle set up already to show I meant business. Juice was going to have to order a couple of updated parts for my baby for this thing to pulled off smoothly. Having bugged Cameron's phone that day as I was finger deep in his ass, had proved most helpful. I knew exactly where Jimmy wanted Filip to be held for his plans to capture me. I also knew the layout and that I would be taking a shot that almost passed a mile out. Which means I would need the latest to date shit, and I only had a week to plan.

After assembling the rifle, I slid it to the center at the end of the table facing out of the window that opened up to the parking lot. Making sure I hadn't messed with my scope and other particulars from old habits, I gazed down at my weapon of choice. A fond peace settled over my body as I laid my head on my crossed arms braced on the table next to it. For a second, I allowed myself to just be next to my rifle, not waiting for my target, not attempting to keep my emotions in check, or pulling the trigger. Just being with my baby boy and enjoying the peace and power he brought me.

A shiver suddenly flew up my body as I looked from my rifle to the church door, to find Filip standing in the doorway with a mixture of emotions on his face as he took in the rifle on the table assembled.

Filip-

It had been days, three I think since I had seen or heard from her. I allowed the emptiness to set in and attempted to turn it into a burning anger. That anger I used to take down anyone and everyone the club set in my path. Just so happens with the Mayans and Zobelle being in town it was helpful. So no one complained, except for the few times Jax had attempted to corner me. That last of which I made it plainly clear that it was done.

Neither one of us was willing to get hurt or subject the other person to their pain. Jax claims she loves me but I can't see it, nor do I choose to even consider it. I just couldn't handle the pain she caused to rush through me. I couldn't afford to loose my focus while on a run because she had melted my defenses.

Seeing her storm into the clubhouse, rifle case in hand, and a look of pure death on her face had caused every feeling I had successfully suppressed from my memory and heart to rush forward. As I sat debating on speaking to her, if not from just plain curiosity as to her sudden demands and presence at the club house. I took two shots in a row and walked over to the Church doors. As I silently pulled one open, my body froze in place. She sat with her head over her crossed arms on the table, caressing her now assembled rifle with a delicate and loving expression. The rifle itself was one hell of a beast, he had seen the parts but hadn't realized its danger. Assembled, it put into perspective how deadly the thing really was, especially in that beautiful woman's hands.

God he hadn't even allowed himself to call her those things in his thoughts lately, yet as she sat there admiring her rifle I couldn't help but allow the words to slip and wish for her to look at me like that.

Finally as if she sensed my presence she jerked upright hey eyes finding mine. I was going to demand answers, to pretend I was just curious about what she was working on.

Ever since Gemma had gone over the other day to find Aella in her stand shooting at different spots and moving to different positions between each trigger pool. Gemma had known she was training instead of just having fun. Aella had apparently told Gemma she was just getting back into shape. However, Gemma had been asking each of the boys if they knew of the hit that the club had ordered. None of us had a clue.

But as her eyes met mine, I attempted to hold my mask in place, as she did herself. About to turn and leave she made a small choked sound. Looking back I saw her mask had slipped as she must have assumed I had walked away, her eyes were downcast on her hands as one picked at the other. But her eyes were key, from where I hid I could see the wetness form in her eyes.

Just like that, I warmed from head to toe, and my defenses broke down once again. Clearly the way she had treated me was something other than non-interest. The way she had been treating her family was something other than PTSD issues. She was working on something, but was pushing everyone out until after it was done. Meaning it was a big deal, meaning she had to have no distractions and no weaknesses. Suddenly everything fell into place, the kiss, the teasing, the abrupt change in attitude. She was planning something big and she only wanted few to know.

As I watched Tig, Juice and Jax walk into Church a surge of jealousy and sadness tinged with emptiness pulled at my heart. I would find out, and soon.

Aella-

Everyone took their prospective seats and I waited as they all situated themselves and stopped squirming. Allowing myself to convey wordlessly the importance of this meaning to each one of them, I stood and walked to the front to stand behind the window.

Facing out the window I took in my brothers going about their day, not knowing of the impending danger to Filip and I. Taking a deep breath I turned back to the table and began.

"The few of you present are here because you will each help me in something I have decided needs to be done. It's outside of the club's issues but very much a part of them. I trust each of you enough to allow you into what I'm about to deal with, because I need your help and because I know I can't do it alone."

Turning my attention to Jax, "Is Filip assigned to anything right now? Just answer don't ask."

His eyebrows shot up, almost reaching his hairline, he shook his head no. "Not right now, Zobelle has been dormant and we are waiting for our Irish shipment."

"Good," turning to Tig I allowed a trusting expression to cover my face, "this is where you come in Tiggy. You are to keep an eye on Filip for the next week or so. Take the van, be discreet, and don't let anyone see you. This can't be connected to the club and Filip must not know. Understood?"

Tig's blue eyes had widened and his face had taken a look of permanent shock, but he nodded in agreement.

Turning to Juice, I grinned at his full attention, "I need you to run this license plate and look into Cameron, any and all information you have will be useful. As well as to find any means of transportation the IRA has into Charming, Jimmy will be coming to town and this would go smoother if I knew where and when as well as how. Here is a list of parts I need ordered and delivered in three days max, my routing number for my bank is on the bottom."

After seeing the determination filter into Juice's eyes, I knew I could count on the tech. Turning to Jax I decided it was time to spill the beans.

"This will hopefully answer any questions you all have, but I want you to understand what is said in this room is to remain in this room until further notice." I paused to take a deep breath, I was trusting them with a lot. "The night that Cameron had been shot, I volunteered to take Juice's spot plugging the artery until Tara arrived. At which time our new Irish connection let slip in some ways that he was in fact loyal to Jimmy more than the IRA and that Jimmy had indeed sent him to spy on me. Our suspicions about Jimmy's intentions were correct. Unfortunately, today as I made my way to LA, I had learned that apparently I underestimated Mr. Jimmy. The background they had dug into for me was a lot more extensive than I first thought. They had found Max's grave."

I slouched into the pres's chair, realizing I was going to have to confess a piece of me I didn't want to. But I trusted the men in this room to keep it to themselves, allowing my sigh to release, I continued as a tear slid down my cheek.

"This scar, on my face was from the worst mission I had ever had. It was the last mission as well, in which I lost every brother in arms as well as my best friend and spotter. I watched as Max was executed right in front of me, but only after we were both tortured for information. Max's grave resides in LA, that is why my time has been spent there, I've been going to visit. This morning, I found Cameron confirming his location to Jimmy on the phone, luckily the day of his being stitched up on this very table I had bugged his phone. After I pulled the feed from my phone and listened through I learned of Jimmy's plans. He will be coming into Charming this week, at which time he plans to kidnap Filip and hold him as bait for me. However, I also learned after he successfully had kidnapped me from this trap, he planned to finally kill Filip."

Tears had silently been spilling during my entire presentation of facts. I allowed the information to set in as the boys were silent with their heads bowed. I had chosen these specific Son's because Filip had grown close to all three men, and I knew they would die for him just as I would. So I knew they would need time to process the information I had just shared, including the personal part of me.

Juice finally cleared his throat, I was surprised to see a tear had made his way down his cheek as well. "Aella, you have to know that we won't let anything happen to Chibs." He paused as he grew serious, "But you haven't told us what you plan to do."

"That is for me to know and for your help to push forward. I can't do this without each of you. Jax mainly is here as a liaison for the club in case things were to go south. If I fail I will be captured, but with Tig on standby with Filip, I have the peace of mind that he will at least live." Leaning forward a weight left my shoulders, I hadn't told the entire truth of my intentions, but I felt that the amount I did share had lightened my load immensely.

Jax turned my chin to face him, "Sis, tell me you aren't planning what I think you are?" His blue eyes were stricken with fear and anger and I knew he had read my intentions clearly, even hidden between the lines. I slid my chin out of his grasp, standing and walked over to my rifle. Allowing my hand to caress it from the tip of the barrel to the end of the buttstock, I leaned forward on the table with one hand as the other remained on the rifle.

"I think my brother, you know exactly what I intend to happen. With or without the club's consent this needs to be handled. There is a direct threat to Filip, but I have decided to keep it from the club as I know if it were to be linked back it could devastate the club's already shaky foundation. Yes, I've noticed ATF in town, I know what Zobelle is and what he is attempting to do. You forget little brother, how perceptive I can really be just through observation."

Jax hung his head with a resigned sigh, he knew either way, with or without the men at this table's help I would be going forward with this. He knew I had to do it for my own sanity as well as Filip's.

"You all can go, but Juice I need the info right away, and Tig….." I bore into his blue eyes with mine, "Please, keep him safe. I'm trusting you with my life by trusting you to keep him safe. Under NO circumstances are you to break away from him."

Tig stood and made his way to my side, I came to my full height and allowed him to sweep me into his arms. This man had become a second dad, he was so perceptive as to what was brewing behind my mask and he knew me almost as well as Jax, if not as well as Filip.

"You have my word baby girl, he will be safe."

At that Juice and Jax stood and made their way to me, each hugging me and promising this would happen. I watched as Juice took off to his rooms, and Tig walked up to Filip clapping him on the shoulder while starting some conversation. Jax closed the church doors and turned to me with a troubled and drained look.

"I know I can't stop you. I know this is as much for you as for him. It explains what's been going on between the two of you, as well as your need for space. I want to apologize for my questioning and cornering earlier. I will keep those boys free except for their work for you, but I need one questioned answered."

When I gave a nod to continue, he stood in front of me and held my shoulders while forcing me to look in his eyes, "Are you in love with him Aella?" Trying to look away proved fruitful with his grip on my shoulders, I could feel the walls breaking down, and my lip starting to quiver. So it boiled down to admitting my love for Filip or breaking down into a mess right here in Church. As the room wasn't exactly discreet I knew I would have to tell him.

"Even with just a short amount of time, it scares the shit out of me Jax. Yes, with everything I have, it all belongs to that man. He can never know Jackson, not right now, especially if this thing goes south. Right now he hates me and that's perfect if I were to fall captive into Jimmy's hands. Right now his anger has pushed all his feelings for me aside and that's how it needs to stay. I'm not sure I'll ever be right for him, even after Jimmy. Even as much as I desperately want to be."

The grip on my shoulder released and Jax nodded. With the most serious expression I had ever seen on my little brothers face he frowned. "You really believe by keeping yourself from him, you are saving him? Aella he is a mess without you, you are everything to him and he doesn't know it. Even if by appearance he 'hates' you as you like to call it, it's only because his feelings for you are scaring him and he refuses to be hurt by another woman again. Promise me you will give this thing with him a try if I stand by you through this with Jimmy?"

Biting my lip and knowing that chances are I'd be captured and tortured to consent into the IRA, Jimmy would live, and I would die after refusing his every plan to break me. I nodded to Jackson, knowing at least Filip would live. As this promise was made, Jax opened the church doors and waited as I collected my rifle and rifle bag. Walking out, I could feel someone's eyes on me, knowing it was most likely the man in question I kept on walking out of the clubhouse, my gaze never leaving the doors.

It was dark out, and a slight breeze flowed in the air. With my assembled rifle slung behind my back, I climbed on my bike and slid my safety glasses on once again. I would await Juice's info at home, and I would do anything I could until then to keep my mind off of the task in a week. Including Filip's impending capture, which was undoubtedly my biggest worry. I allowed small bubbles of laughter to escape as I realized I had survived war only to find love and most likely die for it.


	12. Chapter 12

Aella-

It had been almost three days, Juice was still collecting information and I was still waiting for my parts. Tig had been diligently following Filip around, and had been reporting in with simple text messages to and from his apartment. I had spent my days training and focusing on my garden and shed, while still attempting to focus on the threat as well as plan for every angle.

Having had the worst nightmares since I had found out Jimmy's plans, all revolving around what could go wrong when the day came with Jimmy, most ended with the death of Filip and I watched. Waking up I felt like shit, my body felt heavy, I had dried tears and blood on the palms of my hands from digging my nails while curling my first. It happened a lot recently, but nothing like this morning. Today, I felt like pure death and I was worried I wouldn't be able to move.

Laying in bed for about an hour just trying to come back to reality, I heard my front door opening. I hadn't heard a bike, and certainly didn't hear a knock. Adrenaline coursing through my veins as Max started to growl heavily, I rolled from my bed and slid the 1911 out from underneath my pillow. I silently made my way into the bathroom and pushed the window open. My bathroom window was slim, but large enough for me to slide through at the right angle. As I successfully landed on my feet outside of the house, I peeked around the corner.

There sat Gemma's Suv, seeing that she had groceries she was carrying with both hands, I found Max on the porch chewing on a rawhide. Jax must have warned her about his protective side, and told her his weakness. The absurdity of me standing in a tactical position, half naked with my 1911 already loaded and ready to go, growling in frustration.

Adrenaline already leaving my system, I walked out of my hiding spot not even bothering with shyness for my state of dress. I grabbed the rest of the groceries and surprised Gemma by putting them on the counter.

"Morning momma. Almost took your head off." Laying the 1911 next to the groceries to emphasize my point.

She laughed and turned to stand in front of me. "You know if you would talk to me, this could have been avoided but I figured you would ignore my call. So I decided I'd just pop by."

"Great, and buy the grocery store as well? You know I buy my own groceries."

She gave me a knowing smirk and opened my refrigerator. I shrugged as the bare counters met my gaze. Okay, so I had been preoccupied lately and only went to buy groceries when I knew I'd cook them and eat them after.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too momma. Make some coffee while I shower?"

She nodded and motioned me out of the kitchen.

As I let my body soak in the steaming water, I could smell breakfast as well as my coffee. Yup, Gemma was going to be hovering for a little longer today. The thought surprisingly wasn't as upsetting as it would normally be, I could use some company after baring that personal information to Jax a couple of days ago. Especially with the impending future or possible outcome looming over me with Jimmy's hit. So I finished soaping up and turned the water off, walking into my room while toweling off. As I started to get dressed I could hear male voices in my kitchen. My body stiffening I walked to the door of my room, cracking it open and peeked to see who was here.

Bobby, Jax, Tig, and Juice were around the island of the kitchen talking as Gemma was cooking. The shower must have blocked out the sound of the motorcycles. Jesus, was my house turning into the breakfast spot? Hurrying to finish getting ready, I could hear more motorcycles pull up. My anger was already starting to rise, and the approach of more people had me growling as I entered the kitchen.

"Tell me you did NOT invite the club over for breakfast?"

Gemma calmly ignored me while making a cup of coffee to my standards. As she handed me the cup she turned to face me, as the now silent sons at the island braced themselves for a fight.

"The boys have been worried, and with your attitude lately you can't blame them. So I decided a nice morning breakfast at your place would give them a chance to see you alive and well. You can hate me later, but I know you'll be thanking me instead."

In response, with a curled fist and my coffee cup in the other hand, I literally growled at the woman as a deadly stare came over my face. Suddenly my anger was interrupted with Max at the sliding glass door whining at me, our morning routine apparently still needed to be done.

Grumbling about being saved by the human dog, I walked to the sliding glass door, grabbing the pack of cigarettes I kept on the counter and let him out. Following him to the swing and allowing him to take off, I watched my child have his morning fun while smoking and sipping my coffee, attempting to ignore the now building crowd in my kitchen.

Bike after bike could be heard coming down my driveway, until finally I made a mental count and knew the ENTIRE club was here. Even then, I ignored them and continued to smoke telling Max to keep playing. Knowing all to well this was an attempt to prolong my hiding with him as an excuse.

Hearing the sliding glass door open, I saw Clay walk out towards me. Silently he took the spot next to me while lighting a cigar. After a couple of peaceful and silent moments, he puffed his cigar and finally turned his body towards me.

"You know I tried talking her out of it this morning, she wasn't having any of it. Apparently Gemma is tired of your need for space, but I have a feeling if you play nice she will back off for a couple more days."

I turned with a sympathetic smile, "I know dad, and I know its only because of the love she has for me. I also know it could all be avoided if I talked to her about what I'm going through, but I'm just not ready. You understand that right?"

He nodded giving me a side hug. After he flicked the cigar out he rose and held a hand out for me. Flicking my cigarette I resigned myself to the chaos I was walking into.

Walking through the sliding glass door I had to smooth my shock as my fears were confirmed. Happy, Half-Sack, Bobby all sat on the couch watching some car show. Jax, Juice, Tig, and Filip sat around the Island and Gemma had Opie finding more pans as she almost had stacks and stacks of breakfast cooked.

Calling Max inside I bent down to his ears, and whispered that he should go climb in bed. Knowing full well that his 'bed' was the couch that the three sons occupied. Hysterical laughter left me as Max climbed on top of Bobby and spread himself across all three laps. Tears started to leak as the laughter heightened when Max rolled on his back asking for a stomach rub.

Hearing the Sons at the island as well as Opie and Gemma starting to join in on my laughter, I stood while holding my stomach. It had been centuries since I had laughed so hard, but I never surprised me what this dog could do for me emotionally. Finally I took pity on the crushed sons and called him to me, telling him to lie down as I went to grab him a bowl of food. Max always ate while I did, to prevent him from begging.

I didn't have a kitchen table so the Sons kept there spots around the island and on the couch. I took the spot on the recliner, chuckling as Clay pushed Half-sack over so that he could take a spot on the couch.

Gemma started to hand out plates of food as my phone vibrated in my pocket, I slid it out of my pocket and flipped it open. _Do you know a Cameron Hayes- Sadie_

Gasping aloud, I bit my lip to keep the fear from seeping into my eyes, and attempted to quell my panic as I could feel it start to rise I responded. _What happened?_

_He came to the house asking questions about Max and you? -Sadie _My eyes narrowed at the phone's screen as I realized Jimmy was speeding his plans up.

_Is he still there?_

_Left about 10 minutes ago, I had to play hostess to him and some goons. Coffee and toast the usual for Irishmen. -Sadie _I allowed a breath of relief to escape as I knew Sadie had played it the way that Max had coached her, she was a good Army wife.

_You okay? Need me to come out there?_

_No, but I'd like to have some answers missy. They clearly had other than friendly intentions, I know danger when I see it. -Sadie_ Making a mental note to tell her everything after it all went down I started in on my reply. Gemma sat a plate filled with all sorts of breakfast foods on my lap, giving me a questioning glance at the phone in my hand. I smiled in thanks and silently returned back to texting a reply.

_Long story, has to do with Filip. Was a shorter man with trimmed dark brown hair with them? Usually wears nice suits?_

My palms started to sweat as I pushed the food around with my fork and held my phone awaiting the answer in my other hand.

_Yeah, how did you know? Said his name was Jimmy o' or something -Sadie._

My heart kicked into hyper drive and I slid the plate onto the coffee table in front of me. Walking out the back through the sliding glass doors, ignoring each stare while dialing her number.

"Whats going on Aella?"

"You need to leave, pack a bag and go stay at a hotel. There will be someone with the same vest that Filip wore that night to meet you later. Do as I say now, I will explain I promise. Just text me the room info and hotel info when you get there okay?"

She was silent for a few moments before she sighed, I could hear her moving already. "Yeah Aella, I'm going. I know enough from Max to know that you mean business with that tone. I'm going, and I'll take my concealed as well. I should be settled in about an hour, going to make it a vacation and stay at a nice one in the city. Send you the info soon?"

"Okay. Thank you Sis. I need you safe until after this is taken care of, then I promise you will get those answers. I'll text when I send someone up."

As I hung up, my shoulders sagged with the realization that It was so much easier in the Army to take care of enemies. Not having any baggage or weaknesses. Glancing back into the house and seeing the boys that had found places in my heart, as well as my family talk and smile at each other in conversation. Having Max and Sadie now as well, everything was being put in danger because of this one man. I couldn't wait until I had Jimmy in my scope again, this time I wouldn't let him walk away. For now, I needed to talk to Jax about sending someone to watch over Sadie.

Opening the sliding glass door, and ignoring the flutter of my heart as I found Filip's eyes on mine, I called for Jax to come outside.

As he slid the door closed and walked to the swing, taking a seat next to me he lit a cigarette and raised his eyebrows in question.

"Remember me telling you about Max?"

As he nodded I continued, "Max had a wife in LA, Sadie. That's who Filip found me with at the bar the day Abel got out of the toaster. That was her on the phone. Cameron and Jimmy paid a visit at her house this morning asking about me. Apparently things are moving quicker than I had suspected they would. I told her to pack a bag and go stay in a hotel, but I'd feel better if you could spare someone to watch over her."

Jax allowed the information to set in before nodding, "We have a charter in LA that can send someone over. Got the details on the hotel yet?"

"No, she's going to text the info when she settles in, I'll send it to you then."

Apparently my face had slipped showing my concern and panic, Jax slid an arm around me pulling me close so that the sides of our heads touched. Leaning into him I sighed, and he rubbed circles on my shoulder. Whether I wanted it or not his comfort was helping me immensely this morning.

"We got this Aella, everyone will be fine. If I have to I'll call a lockdown at the clubhouse, wouldn't be the first time without all the details."

He felt me nod against him, we remained silent while watching Max run around, he must have slipped out with Jax earlier.

I soaked his comfort until the sliding doors opened again, leaning up to see who it was my breath caught as Filip walked over. Unfortunately, as I started to grab ahold of Jax in a silent plea he patted my shoulders and stood to walk back inside. Leaving me alone with the man I had successfully been avoiding for the last 6 days.

Filip walked over and sat next to me, staring out into the yard watching Max in silence. The silence was welcome as I knew that it wouldn't last long. Sure enough as that thought left my mind, he spoke while maintaining his distant stare.

"I don't know wha's happenin', I do know ye well enough to know ye won't tell me even if I asked. But I know it hasta do wit me." I scoffed trying to play it off as him being arrogant to think it all revolved around him, even as he hit the truth. "I know ye are pushing me away, but I know it ain't out of a lack of interest, I see it in ya eyes every time you look at me. Even if half of the time its paired with loathin' and anger. I ain't stupid sweetheart and I know somethin's going on. I just wish ye trusted me enough to tell me, I wish ye understood we could deal with it togethe'."

At this I turned my body toward him to look at him properly, my mouth had fallen open at his clear display of opening up. Even after everything I had done, his anger was gone and he still felt like he wanted to be there for me. This man was amazing, and my heart swelled for him. I could feel my mask slipping as he looked into my eyes, the emotions there were the same outside of that day and it took everything I had not to break down right in front of him.

Sadie's call fresh on my mind gave me the determination and strength I needed despite my aching heart. But I didn't have control over my hands, as one raised to land on his cheek and caress his scar. His eyes slid close at the contact and he leaned into my palm, I bit my lip from crying.

"In time you will understand Filip. I promise. But right now I can't do this, you can't get close to me and I have to distance myself from you. I need you to understand that."

His eyes opened as my hand fell and landed back on my cup of coffee, he frowned as his pools of chocolate conveyed his despair to me wordlessly. He nodded, but hesitated to stand as his own hand came up beside my face. Stopping inches from my scar he looked to me with permission, I guess he found what he needed, his fingers traced my scar from my eyebrow down to my lip. As his palm cupped my face his thumb ended its exploration with a brief ghost over my bottom lip. Again I bit my lip and tried to turn away, but he held my face still and kept my gaze.

"When that time comes darlin' I'll be here waitin'. Ye have to understand I ain't goin' anywhere. As much as I've tried to change this ye always are on my mind woman, and I will wait for ye."

Each word pounded into the wall I had built around my heart trying to make entrance, but I held my resolve, still worrying my lip. His gaze finally broke from my eyes and glanced at the part of my lip that my teeth were currently chewing on. It caused a warmth to spread from head to toe, and a yearning for him to bloom. Holding my mask in place, he finally let his hand drop and left me on the swing, going back inside with Max in tow.

I sat on the swing for another cigarette and tried to calm my pounding heart and my shaking hands. That man had such a hold over me, and for a second I had hope that maybe things would work out and I could attempt to allow him back into my life. Maybe I could survive and he would be there to help piece me together. Maybe I could have that chance at love.

However, my hopeful thoughts were broken with reality as my phone vibrated next to me. Looking at the screen I saw the name of the hotel, address, and room number sent from Sadie. Forwarding the text to Jax, I felt all hope leave my body once again as the numbness fell back over my heart.


	13. Chapter 13

Aella-

Walking back into my house I could see Juice and Tig watching my movements. Taking my spot on the recliner, I pulled the plate into my lap and with a sense of numbness ate the food just to appease the watchful gazes.

After I finished my cold breakfast, I threw the paper plate away and filled my cup of coffee up. Still feeling the watchful eyes of some of my brothers, but hearing the conversations flow I knew I had stemmed the questions for a little just by eating. I sipped my coffee and got lost in Bobby's story telling of some Elvis concert he went to in Tacoma.

About an hour later the Sons started to leave the house, getting ready for the day or heading to the garage for their shifts. Jax, Tig, Juice, and Gemma stayed behind. Gemma cleaning I motioned for the other three to follow me out.

As Jax slid the door shut I looked to Juice, "Are my parts ordered?"

He nodded anxiously, "Got the info you asked as well, every things is on my laptop at the clubhouse if you wanna come by I'll brief you on what I've found out."

Nodding I turned to Tig, "He has a shift today at the garage right?" He nodded too and gave me a half smile, "That man is one boring cat without you around I swear."

"Just stay awake Tig." I turned to Jax and nodded, letting him know I was about to inform the boys about Sadie and Jimmy's visit.

"Jimmy is apparently already in town, he visited Max's wife in LA asking questions about our time served in the Army. That was her on the phone this morning. Jax is already sending someone from the LA charter, which means we just have to wait. Hopefully my parts get here before then, but I think me and the rifle have it handled either way. Tig please be on the alert, allow the kidnap to happen but be vigilant and know that if anything happens to him I will skin you alive after dealing with Jimmy. Everyone got it?"

All three of them nodded and Tig smiled at my threat. After getting hugs and reassurances, I told Juice I would be at the clubhouse at noon. I needed time to think, finishing the shed would allow me to focus my thoughts.

Filip-

The conversation we had, and her caress had all but made me break my resolve in waiting her out. Fighting the strongest urge I had ever had to kiss someone, I acted normal and maintained conversation with my brother's afterwards. But she was consuming my mind, and my entire body ached for her contact. It was completely foreign to my heart, to need someone the way I now needed Aella. But her words, as well as her actions and the fact that I knew Tig had been following me had me on alert.

Something was going down, and I knew I was the pawn in the middle. I couldn't get any information from Tig, Jax was completely tight lipped about it, and Juicey boy had been avoiding me. Apparently it was important enough for them to follow every instruction she had given them. It still didn't give me any peace, or calm my jealousy at being kept out of the loop.

So with a dreadful feeling something was going to happen today, I went about my routine of getting myself ready to tackle the list of cars needing repairs in the garage. I would just have to focus on my work and maintain faith that in time she would realize she needed me.

Aella-

I was finishing the last layer of shingles on the roof when I heard a car making its way down the driveway. As my body tensed and my hand unconsciously located my pistol, my body relaxed as Oswald's truck could be seen. He pulled up beside the shed and whistled in appreciation as he walked over.

"Damn girl, when you said you were building a shed, I didn't realize you meant from ground up. This thing is a work of art. No wonder you needed all that supplies."

Laughing I slid down the pole and gave him a brief hug. Oswald and I had been in touch for a month before I left Germany. Finding that he owned the major construction company of Charming, and hiring him to renovate the cabin before I came home, we had plenty to talk about. Forming a sort of friendship came easy with our common interest in woodwork and horses. It was actually a bit surprising to me that he hadn't stopped by before to say hi.

"Was wondering when you'd get your lazy ass over here to say hi. How are things? Horses, construction and I guess now mayor right?"

"Not yet the polls aren't in yet."

We lapsed into easy conversation as he checked out the shed, and I pointed out the small details I had customized it with. It was nice to get my mind off of Filip, Jimmy, and the club for once.

Oswald had denied my offer of coffee and climbed into his truck a half hour later with the promise of coffee out in town sometime soon. My phone buzzed as the alarm for 1130 had been set off. Gathering my supplies, throwing it in the back of the truck I went to get ready.

My Harley was packed for the hit in any case that it might happen sooner than later, which I doubted considering Filip was working at the garage at this time. But like I've always said better safe than sorry. Pulling into the club house and waving at the few sons around the garage and picnic tables I made my way inside seeking Juice out. He smiled and waved over to the boxes on the bar, my parts had finally come in.

After telling him I'd meet him in the room, I jogged back to my bike and grabbed my rifle case with the disassembled rifle inside. As I entered his room he had the boxes on the bed, and was getting the laptop screen to transfer over to the big screen. I took in the various gaming equipment and consoles and laughed as I realized the big bad son had it bad for gaming.

"Don't you get enough of the Call of Duty shit with the club man? Jesh."

He shrugged as I started to open each part, pulling it out of the different boxes I whistled in appreciation. Juice had apparently ordered each part to match my already woodland designed rifle. I allowed a small smile to break out on my face and hugged him before assembling the rifle and adding the updated parts. It looked beautiful, and I could tell it would definitely help for the long shot I was preparing to take.

"Alright, now for the information," I slid onto the bed Indian style as he scooted over to the headboard pulling the laptop in his lap. For the next 30 minutes I learned more about Jimmy then I ever really wanted to. To include the interesting fact that I shoved deep into my mind to bring up to Filip later, apparently Filip had finalized a divorce the last time he was in Belfast and Jimmy was now married to Fiona.

We discussed the information at length and made a plan on where best to set up shop with a full view of the shed that Jimmy was planning on using. Checking through Cameron's phone logs to make sure the details were still the same, I felt confident that I had a plan now.

It was around 2pm and I had left the club house after finishing with Juice and headed into Charming for a cup of coffee. I really had a coffee problem, but had no reason to try to break myself from it. As I sat at one of the tables, wearing my dark vinyl riding pants, my black tank top and shoulder holsters, with my kutte a woman in a suit slid into the seat opposite of me.

"Funny I don't remember asking for company."

She laughed and smirked while pulling a folder out of her briefcase, laying it on the coffee table between us.

I was growing irritated, clearly this woman was law enforcement which added to the fact that I already disliked her. "Can I help you ?"

Again she chuckled sipping her coffee, "Names Stahl, I'm an ATF agent. Wanted to ask you some questions about the MC problem in Charming. Hear you're the Son's princess?"

I leaned forward with a menacing glare, "If you knew anything about me, which I'm sure you do considering the file between us, you would know princess is a title definitely not meant for me."

She leaned back and I smirked at the fear I saw quickly covered in her expression, "well, seems the Army trained you well. I was wondering if you'd be able to answer some questions for me?"

"Depends on whether I have the answers or not."

"What do you know about the IRA and the Son's gun running business."

I allowed a fake expression of disinterest and innocence to come over my face as I maintained eye contact and answered smoothly. "You have the wrong charter darling, these boy's are purified Harley enthusiast. No Gun running here."

The smirk left her face, and she leaned forward again with a determined look on her face.

"How about the murder of a local Port Master? Seems he was shot from a distance, and then someone ransacked his hotel room to make it look like a disgruntled client."

"Well, you know what they say, if its walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, must be a duck."

"Right, well this was very informative." I laughed at her sarcastic expression but maintained my innocent look. "If you have any information, you should contact me."

She stood and slid a card across the table while collecting the photos of the crime scene she had put on display during her show and tell. I nodded to show a dismissive agreement, and let the card rest where it was as I watched the police cruiser leave. As soon as it was out of sight, I grabbed the card and called Jax.

"Whats up Aella?"

"Bad news brother, did you know ATF was in town?"

I heard a tool drop in the background, and Jax groan in annoyance. "Let me guess, Agent Stahl paid you a visit?"

"While I was in Charming getting coffee. Was real interested in the IRA and gun running with you guys."

"Guessing she got fed up with you real quick."

I laughed, "Well I may have charmed her out of her seat quite quick."

"Alright, thanks for the heads up Sis."

"You got it, I'll keep you posted about our Irish problem."

"Yup."

He hung up and I finished the last of my coffee, sliding the card into my saddle bag, it would make for some good precision shot practice. I did have new updates to the rifle to familiarize myself with.

6pm rolled around with no new developments, I was getting antsy. While I allowed myself with some fun to acclimate myself to the new parts on my rifle, I started to get a dreading feeling deep in my stomach. The same I had before my last mission, the same feeling that in turn resulted with the death of all I knew. Nausea had taken over me as I sat in the backyard and pet an already exhausted Max, he lay beside me on the swing with his head in my lap as I smoked. My phone was on loud, rare in itself, and laying next to me. I was dreading a call from Tig, but had a feeling it was happening today.

Juice and I had already set up a plan so there was really no need to scope out the warehouse as I would usually have done. But I needed something to keep my mind off what was going to happen, so I ushered the tired puppy inside and grabbed my things. Changing my mind at the last second, my feelings were rarely ever wrong as of late, I turned to change.

For tonight I decided my black camouflaged pants, with my black army boots, completed with a elbow padded range shirt that was black as well and my vest. Braiding my hair and rolling into a sock bun, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Allowing a smirk over my face, I thought about how sweet it would feel to watch Jimmy die. Grabbing my gear on the way out of the house, I locked up and grabbed my fingerless gloves and full face blacked out helmet. Releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding, I steered the bike out of the driveway and headed for some recon.

Arriving to the fortunately abandoned apartment complex, I hid the Harley behind the dumpster and climbed up the fire escape. This location was chosen specifically for the distance and emptiness of the block. It would be perfect.

Finding a convenient location to set up I assembled the rifle on the flat surface of the air vent, luckily the vent was long enough to allow me to spread out and get comfortable. Laying my helmet on the ground and sliding my ipod from my pack, I started the playlist I had chosen for this occasion and slid behind my rifle. Getting comfortable on the hard surface, I braced the rifle against my shoulder and leaned forward to peer through the scope.

The new technology had me looking at the outside of the warehouse, as if I was right in front of it and not almost a mile away. The clarity was beautiful and I allowed myself to scope out the building.

A man walked out of the warehouse about 30 minutes later, I flicked my cigarette out immediately and became alert. Suddenly recognizing him as Cameron I pulled the headphones from my ipod and plugged it into my phone calling juice. Using the bluetooth was always easier than talking with one hand on a phone and the other on a rifle.

"Aella? Whats up?"

"Where is Tig and Filip?"

"Last I saw they were in the garage but its closed now, they should be at Filip's apartment. Why?"

"Can you hack into the bug I planted in Cameron's phone, he is using it as we speak and I want to hear this conversation."

"Ugh…..sure? I can call you back and have you listen while it plays on my television."

"Great thanks Juicey." I started to hang up when Juicey hesitantly spoke.

"Ugh, Aella?..." I knew there was a question coming so I waited. "Where are you exactly?"

"Well by the tone of voice your using I'm sure you can guess Juice. Call me back ASAP."

"Got it."

This time Juice hung up, and I smiled as I realized people underestimated Juice and his innocent looks. That man was smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for. Suddenly a black van pulled in front of the warehouse and Jimmy stepped out. I focused on Jimmy's head, knowing I could take the shot now but the IRA would have some issues which would cause the club issues. Unfortunately I knew I would wait until he took Filip.

Jimmy looked around and then motioned for Cameron to come over, suddenly I saw that Jimmy had Tara bound. A painful groan left my body, as I saw Sadie being pulled out of the van next.

Without removing my eye from the scope or my right hand from the safety, I dialed Tig's number.

"He's safe and sound darlin'."

"Ok, ill talk to you later. You stay with HIM Tig, do NOT leave his side for anyone reason UNDERSTOOD?"

"Yes ma'am."

Ending the call I scrolled for Jax's number.

"Yeah sis?"

"Where are you?"

"Club house why? Grab Juice, tell him to bring the lap top and take you to my nest. He will understand. Don't ask just do it Jackson."

I hung up and watched as Cameron spoke to the driver, most likely telling him to go pick up Filip now. I sent Tig a message quickly_. If they come to kidnap him, do NOT let them take him. Change of plans I'll explain later. _

It took a second for Tig to reply a simple Ok.

They had moved Tara and Sadie to the top level of the warehouse, where I had a perfectly 4x4 window to watch. They tied them to a support beam in front of the window, no doubt to entice me as they knew I would have scoped it out before showing up. Counting the number of men present, and finding that I'd need another clip ready for ammo to take them all out, I knew I'd have to wait for Jax and Juice.

They continued to check on the women, even giving them water as Cameron sat outside waiting for the van to show up, no doubt with Filip. My phone went off.

_They came to the apartment, Filip and I handled it. Waiting here for more instructions A. Be safe. _

Sighing in relief as I knew he was safe, I focused back in as I heard Jax's truck pull up. A couple minutes later, I could hear Jax and Juice making their way to me. Jax crouched down next me as Juice set up on the space next to my leg.

"Jax grab my ammo box and load another clip. I'm going to need more than one mag."

Jax's phone began to go off, and I knew it was Jimmy calling to inform him that Tara was taken. My phone rang at the same time, most likely for the information of Sadie.

I stood stopping his hand before he could flip the phone, grabbing it and my phone I turned them off.

"You need to listen to me as I tell you this, and I need you to be calm and understand I won't let anything happen to them."

"Whats going on sis? Did they take Filip?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and sighing again, "They have Sadie and Tara."

His face scrunched in anger and his fist both balled. I could see him heating up in anger, and knew he would have to be tied down unless I had him doing something.

I grabbed his face with both my hands and bore into his eyes, "I need you to fucking focus little brother. I'm going to kill every bastard in there but I need your help. Understand?"

Finally he nodded and his fist uncurled, apparently he trust me enough to know I wouldn't let anything happen to Tara. Suddenly he moved to pick up my ammo box and began loading a clip.

Turning to Juice, "Got the feed_?" _

"Yeah, I'll play it now."

_"Aye, if 'e ain't at te garage 'e went 'ome."_

_"Nah, ta club ain't been busy as of late."_

_"Aye, Jimmy got it."_

So they were planning on grabbing Sadie, Tara, and Filip all along.

"Well, lets see how this will work shall we?"

Climbing back into my spot I began to talk aloud.

"I'm going to take the one's up top out first, it will be easier to take out the one's down below without back up storming. Is that mag loaded Jax?"

He slid it wordlessly below the rifle into my left hand. I moved the mag into a place I knew I could speed load the rifle blind. I took a deep breath and slid my hand to brace the rifle with my left, and clicked the safety off with my right. My silencer already in place, I knew this would be easy if I could keep everyone of them suckers unaware before their death. Now I was playing a game of who to kill first and when.

Taking a deep breath, and slowly releasing I took the man closest to Tara and Sadie. With pride I watched and Tara shushed Sadie as Sadie had gasped at the sudden death. Thank you, Tara.

Taking another slightly long breath I took the one out at the top of the stairs as he turned to see his buddy dead.

Another deep breath I took out the one who just entered the attic.

Deep breath, killed the one at the bottom of the stairs. And easily slid to kill the man that was standing next to the now dead man.

Taking another deep breath I picked off the ones on the far corner of the building right at the entrance.

Quickly dropping the mag and reloading, I knew I had two men outside and Jimmy and Cameron left. Killing the other two was easy enough, but I paused with Jimmy and Cameron left.

"Jax, do you want Cameron to live or die?"

"Kill. Them. All."

Indeed, I took Cameron out as he stood next to Jimmy. With a large smile and a chuckle I watched as Jimmy raced into the warehouse and saw his dead men. Knowing what was happening, he walked to the window and tried finding me on a rooftop.

Taking a deep breath in, I fired and watched the man who haunted my nightmares for the last few weeks die. Blood spattered the support beam directly behind him, and I let the longest sigh I'd ever have leave my body. Allowing my head to slump I counted 20 men, dead at the end of my scope.

Rolling over, I turned to see both Jax and Juice staring in amazement as well as fear. I understood those looks all too well.

"Lets go get the girls boys."

The look of gratefulness and pride that came over Jax's face was worth every bit of blood I had just spilled. Pulling his phone out he called the club and the cleaners, and I knew everyone would be meeting us there.

Filip-

Sitting at my coffee table while nursing a strong stiff cup of Jameson, I started to turn on the tv until a heavy banging at the front door broke me of my peace.

Standing, while setting the cup down I opened the door to find a very alert and anxious Tig.

"It's a long story brother, but have your piece ready. Some Irishmen will be paying a visit and they need to disappear."

With a moments hesitation at being completely shocked, I ran to grab my pistol off of my bed. Tig had taken a chair at the kitchen and I took a position on the couch facing the door. Either way we had the entrance covered.

Sure enough 20 minutes later the door busted open at the hands of a slightly large Irishman which I took down with two bullets. Tig then took his partner out, and I finished the third man with a few well aimed bullets.

Grabbing our kutts and following Tig out, my mind was a mess at what happened, and I wanted answers. As I knew before, Tig had the club van down on the corner of the block, and had been watching me. As soon as we were in the van, and sitting quietly, I figured Tig was waiting for someone's call.

Turning to him I growled with a large amount of menace and demanded answers, "WHAT the HELL is goin' on Tiggy?!"

Tig turned to me with an apologetic look and began telling me the entire story. All I could think about was how that woman had set all this in motion to protect me. A grown man, with plenty of kills on his hands, and that beautiful angel was going to kill for me. The feelings that came over me far pushed the stupid pride issue that rose from being protected.

"Ye mean to tell me that's why she's been the way she as? She's protecting me, and goin' te kill Jimmy?"

Tig only nodded and gulped waiting for the pounding he thought I was to deliver. Honestly, in any other circumstance I would have beat him bloody for keeping it from me. But as it stood, maybe love was changing me. For all I felt was pride, gratefulness, a small amount of disappointment at not seeing Jimmy die, and Love for the crazy woman who killed from miles away.

"Wher' is she Tig? What's happenin' now?"

"No clue brother, I'm to wait here with you and not leave your side. That's my part, and now that you know I'm guessing your part." He apparently was having as much of an issue with this as I was, as he breathed a large sigh and slouched in his seat. "We just wait Chibby."

About 30 minutes later, Tig's phone rang.

"Yea?"

He sat quiet and his body went rigid.

"Your serious Juicey boy? Everyone single one?"

Suddenly the tension left him and he cranked the van.

"Where?"

"Alright we are headed there now."

As he pulled away from my apartment, I looked at him with a pointed glare. As he finally got the picture that I wanted to know he spoke.

"It's done. Jimmy, Cameron Hayes, and about 12 other are dead. We are meeting the club at the warehouse."

Words escaping me I turned to look out of the window. I didn't know whether I was going to strangle, cry, or kiss that angel as soon as I saw her. Jimmy was dead, Kerianne was safe. His life could finally move on. Sure Fiona was alone again, but he really couldn't find it in him to care. But HIS kerianne, his baby girl was finally safe from that man. A small and peaceful smile broke on my face as I realized I was finally free of my Irish problems, ALL of them.

As the warehouse came into view I saw Jax and Tara in a teary embrace, and Sadie and Aella hugging as well.

At seeing Aella, and knowing what she had done for me and for the club. The most powerful feeling came over me, more like feelings. I couldn't figure out what I was feeling but I fought tears from my eyes. All I wanted was to gather her into my arms and make sure she never left. This amazing, strong, brillant, deadly, and sexy woman was everything I had ever wanted and never known.

Aella-

Tig's van rolled up and I immediately wandered how much Filip had demanded from him. But knowing Filip was in the van had my heart breaking in happiness. He was safe, and I was here safe as well. Now I had to work on opening up to him, because as much as it scared me I wanted him to be there for me. The only thing from preventing me from running to his side and checking he was without a scratch, was Max's wife in my arms. She was so freaked and pissed that she had been kidnapped. I almost laughed when the first thing out of her mouth was, saved like a fucking damsel in distress. I knew she was only pissed at herself, but honestly I'm sure she was sedated before being given the opportunity to fight. After all that was how Jimmy worked.

Sadie finally calmed enough for me to push her back and look in her eyes. She was happy to be alive that was for sure, but she was also drained.

"Half-Sack!"

He ran to my side, "Sadie, I'm going to have Half-Sack drive you home. If you feel he needs to stay the night I'll be by around 2pm tomorrow. Just let him know."

Looking to him and seeing him nod as he had heard the entire conversation, he laid an arm around her shoulders and carefully moved her to Tig's van. After she climbed in, he buckled her and jumped in the driver side. Starting it up, I gave a tired wave as she was now on her way home, safe.

After knowing Sadie was safe again, I turned to scan the crowd for the one man I needed to know was ok. Filip stood at the window apparently frozen in shock, as Jimmy's body was in plain view on the floor. Walking up to him, I stood directly behind him, hesitant to touch him for fear of my feelings rushing to the surface and breaking down.

"I saved him for last, watched the soul leave his body. Your free Filip, you and Kerianne."

He turned to look at me, the tears sliding down his cheeks had my heart breaking. I was so afraid he would be angry with me, or never forgive my treatment the last few weeks. But I was majorly afraid I'd never be able to love him the way I wanted, if not because he didn't want it anymore, because my walls wouldn't open enough for him.

I wanted so badly to be his, to be his everything like he had become to me. I knew I'd still need time, but it would be so much easier if he knew I wanted him around. So I stepped closer and slid my hand onto his cheek, my thumb brushing his scar.

"I know my treatment as of late has hurt you, I know you probably don't understand my need for space. You might even be angry I took this on. But I needed this as much as you did. Now, though…."My voice broke, as I knew I was about to be more open with him than I had ever been with anyone. My heart started to feel, and the numbness I had fallen easily to for the last couple of days evaporated. All I could feel was my love for him and my family, and my extreme fear of his rejection. Suddenly the words were caught in my throat, but as I looked into his eyes, I could see different emotions in them. But a few stood out amongst the other, there was gratefulness just as I had seen on Jax's face, there was pride, fear, and then two more feelings that had my breath turning shallow. I saw love, so heavy and pure for me and desire. Both sending shockwaves to the already crumpling wall around my heart.

Suddenly his hand came to my cheek, and he stepped so that our chest were touching. He leaned forward so that our lips brushed, but paused. As my body moved on its own accord, I stepped on my tiptoes to apply pressure to his lips. Instantly he was molding his lips to mine, taking his time to make sure I wouldn't push him away. I sighed into his mouth as his tongue swept my bottom lip. Opening my mouth to him his tongue entered to taste mine. This kiss was unlike any I'd ever had, I was melting in his arms, as his hands held my face. The way he kissed me was so sweet and slow, as if he wanted to memorize each moment. I slid my hand from his cheek to his hair, and thread my fingers through it. He moaned at that, and sucked my bottom lip between his teeth, causing my knees to buckle. Quickly his arms encircled my waist and held me against him.

Again our mouths were a breath apart, and I needed one more connection. I needed one more slow and beautiful kiss before reality came crashing around me. So I reached up and crushed my lips to his in another sweet explorative kiss. He moaned again, and allowed one hand to move further, so that it sat between my shoulder blades, and his other remained around my waist. I could feel our love for each other burn on our lips as we molded together, and I never wanted this to end.

A clearing throat had the moment crash around us, "Alright Love birds, the cleaners are here. We need to clear out."

Slowly pulling away from me, so that my bottom slip slid out of his two, he leaned his forehead against mine and slowly opened his eyes allowing me to see how much the kiss had affected him. The normally stoic Scott was flushed, the amount of need and desire in his eyes shocking for me. I had never experienced a kiss like that, and definitely never had a man look at me like that.

"Come on you two, continue this at the club house. We have church in 5." Finally allowing myself to turn and glare at Jax, his hands flew in the air and he laughed as Tara wound her arm around his waist. They both walked to his truck as Juice climbed in the back.

I separated myself from Filip, avoiding his gaze and watched my brothers jump on their bikes, Tig jumping on Half-sack's bike. When we were alone again, I could feel Filip looking at the side of my head.

I wasn't ready to talk about that kiss. I'm not even sure I was ready for that kiss to happen but at at the time I needed it. So I kept my gaze from him and spoke to his side. "Come on, you can ride bitch." Hearing him grumble I turned and laughed at him, finally looking him in the eyes. Realizing what I had done, I quickly turned and walked to my bike, lighting a cigarette on the way.

Handing him my helmet, he shook his head.

"No, ye need to wear ye helmet more Aella. Ye worryin' us with ye crazy need for driving without it."

I laughed, "Yes because dying on a motorcycle would be the worst way to go. Please, I'm fine. It's just to the club house Filip."

"That is not funny Lass, ye have to joke about ye dieing? Can't ye just make me feel better, considering ye saved plenty of peoples lives today?"

Sighing, I knew he took what I said literally and just decided to use the helmet instead of allowing the conversation to go further. I knew it would head deep and I definitely wasn't ready for that.

So breathing an irritated huff of air, I slid the helmet on and growled at him. He climbed on behind me and slid his hands around my waist. The hand against my stomach splayed open and my breath caught in my throat. His hand took the span of my stomach, and I couldn't believe the feelings from just the simple gesture. It was almost possessive the way he was holding me, and my heart fluttered as the warmth pulsed through me.

Keeping my reaction to myself I started the bike and took off for the club house, attempting to pay attention to the road and not the man holding me.

Pulling into the club house parking lot, I was greeted with cheers and clapping. Apparently the rest of the club had already heard of the events that passed today. Hating the attention but knowing it was how the club reacted and showed appreciation I allowed myself to like it even a little. Filip stood a couple of feet away as the boys took turns enveloping me in a hug and clapping my shoulder in thanks. Growing uncomfortable with the attention, I turned to Jax.

"Don't we have church?" He laughed after nodding, apparently no matter how hard I tried to hide it my brother could still tell I was uncomfortable.

As the boys filtered into church and I took my prospective place between Bobby and Jax. Clay slammed the gavel, signaling the start.

"So today, we have already heard of the highlights as to what happened, but I think Jax needs to fill us in completely."

Jax launched into an explanation, beginning with what he and Filip had suspected about Jimmy's intentions from his first attempt at the cabin. As I allowed myself to tune him out, I turned my head to look at Filip. He was unaware that I was taking in every expression that crossed his face. Now that I wasn't trying to really avoid my feelings for him, but to come to terms with them. I allowed myself a moment to really take him in, and I loved every bit of him. His tattoos, the slight stomach he had, the way he knawed on a unlit cigarette, and stared intently at his VP while the story was relayed. His tattoos that covered his arms, his smirk and occasional chuckle. Then suddenly, his eyes connected with mine. I registered surprise at being watched, that quickly turned to a question. Keeping my contact, I allowed him to see the walls crumple down just a little, so that I knew my feelings for him were in my eyes. He bit his lip as Love, need, and wonder filled his eyes. As quickly as I allowed him to read me, I pushed my feelings out and focused back on Jax. Not wanting that moment to go too far, and having a small piece of mind that he saw my feelings for him.

Jax had just finished after exaggerating my shooting, and I sunk back in the chair completely aware that every pair of eyes had turned to me.

Finally, after a very few uncomfortable minutes, Clay cleared his throat.

"What can we predict as fallout for the club since Jimmy died?"

Jax leaned forward, before I could respond. "Nobody has any idea who killed him, Aella's nest was about a mile out. We collected the brass, and checked Cameron's phone conversations. We confirmed the IRA kings had no knowledge of his plans to kidnap anyone for bait against Aella. So I've already spoke to Roarke about the situation, filling him in on what he needed to know. Surprisingly, the IRA kings had decided Jimmy had become a problem, as well as Cameron. So instead of any backlash, they are sending another Irish contact to smooth things over, and gave us a debt for taking care of their problem."

A smile broke over my face, as this piece of information I hadn't known had relieved me of any worry about hurting the club. My actions were purely selfish, and I hadn't taken the time to worry about backlash. But hearing that there was none had caused my body to slump in relief, the last of my adrenaline left me, and I felt fully drained.

Clay slammed the gavel for the end of the meet, and we all rose. Halfheartedly joking as the boys continued to thank and congratulate me, I started to exit the clubhouse. Without much of a glance to anyone, I climbed on my bike and drove lazily home.

The drive only allowed me to relax more, so I had to fight to keep my eyes open. Pulling into the garage, I secured the bike and my rifle within it, making a mental note to clean it when I woke up. I opened the door to a very happy and awake Dane. Max was one of those obnoxiously smart dogs, so after he sensed my drained posture he sat instead of jumping on me as he normally did. He huffed as he pointed outback with his nose. Laughing I opened it and left it open so that he could do his business and return. I made a bowl of food for him, and laid it down on the floor as he entered, making sure to close and lock the sliding doors. Kissing his head as he began to eat, I walked to my room, falling fully clothed on it, and for the first time since I can remember had a night of deep sleep without any dreams.


	14. Chapter 14

Filip-

Aella had been on my mind since her abrupt departure from Church last night, it was a late one but many of the boys including myself wanted to party in celebration. So after a couple of shots, and realizing that we did have a run to do tomorrow, I headed to bed.

Today was the children's blood drive, we would be using the charity run as a cover to mule the Irish pistols. The Tacoma boys would be at the club house soon, and all the boys including Opie would be participating in the run. The only person staying behind was Piney, to tend to the Garage. After a nice long hot shower, I got dressed slowly while I wondered if Aella even knew we would be on a run today.

With everything that had happened the past couple of days, and her distance I doubted Jax or Clay had time to really tell her. Not wanting to seem clingy, I refused to text her and let her know. If she needed to know she would have made sure she did.

Walking into the common area, I could see Happy and some of the Tacoma boys already sitting at the bar. It makes sense they would be here early, especially since the run was considered an early run with us looking at leaving around 11. Grabbing a cup of coffee I slid into a stool next to Happy.

"Morning Brother, wheres that sexy killer of yours today?"

Turning to Happy with a surprised expression, his smile letting me know he was only teasing but knew it would hit a nerve. "She ain't mine Hap'. I ain't gotta righ' to claim her yet."

Happy laughed as he realized my slip of tongue, "Yet is right Chibby."

I grumbled and walked out, deciding I no longer wanted any of Tacoma's finest company. Propping myself into the picnic table once again checking my phone I heard Jax pull in and park his bike. He stopped by me and lit a cigarette as well.

"No word from her either?"

I just shook my head.

"That was a pretty exhausting thing she did yesterday. Especially having Tara and Sadie's lives in her hands. I'm sure she's sleeping it off Chibs."

Again I failed to speak, just continued to smoke and nod. Jax was one of the few I didn't even trying playing my feelings for Aella off on, he knew me too well and knew Aella as well.

Jax flicked his cigarette and walked into the club house without another word, just patting me on the shoulder in silent comfort.

Within the next half hour, the rest of the Club was ready to go, as well as most of Tacoma's charter. Half Sack was busy trying to open up about his fake nut transplant, while the boys and I gave him a load of crap about it. But he had me thinking whether Aella felt the same way about her scars, did she ever hate them so much she considered plastic surgery? As I tried to focus on giving Half Sack crap, and not focus on the question that popped in my mind, I realized I knew I was happy she hadn't, for the scars made her all the more beautiful to me.

With a few more jabs at Bobby's backfiring beast and Half Sacks fake nut, Clay pulled into the lot ready to go. The President's arrival meant it was time for business. After Bobby informed Clay that he didn't want to know what the current joke was, Clay started to lead the group out.

Being on the road again, surrounded with the boys always reminded me why I signed up for this, bullshit in all. I loved the feel of being surrounded by my brothers on two wheels, most of our pipes were loud enough by ourselves. Together we were setting car alarms off as well as vibrating my own heart. As we passed Aella's driveway, I wondered what she was doing. If she was curious now as she had to have heard the mass number of motorcycles driving by. I wanted so badly to turn down her driveway and have her join us on her own Harley. But I knew no one without a patch could ride beside us, especially not as a club.

It was funny during 4 years straight of one night stands with strangers or croweaters I had never had any problems staying detached from women. As matter of fact, I finally had come to terms that I'd never really know love at all, as Fiona didn't count. Being the man I was, and the Scot that I was bred to be, I didn't dwell on wishes for love to come either. But as I thought of Aella I couldn't help but realize how glad I was that not a woman had caught my attention the way she had. She was the only woman to ever cause me to look twice, or have such problems trying to figure out what I was feeling around her. Even though I knew it was completely unlike me, I had to pray that she would allow me in and maybe give this a chance.

Our run was going along nicely, no hiccups with Cameron's son Edmund, as well as no problem so far from the Law. Unfortunately that couldn't be said about Bobby's bike. That thing was going to kill him or someone else. It was backfiring all over the place and sounded as if it was missing on RPMs as well. I only prayed that it would get him there and back.

Sure enough about 40 minutes out of the drop location, Bobby's motorcycle started acting up horribly. As he tried adjusting the choke a little the back fire became violent enough for Bobby to almost lose his control. Where he was lucky enough to gain control again, I watched as he had caused Tig to run straight off the road and down a hill. Everyone pulled to the side of the road as I heard Clay yelling who was down. I slammed the bike into park and ran down the hill to check on Tig.

Tig was conscious but had a horrible gash on his leg, he would need stitches and not the kind I could administer. As Clay passed Bobby with an angry glare, I informed the need our brother had for a hospital. As Half Sack dialed 911, I held pressure to Tig's leg. Bobby was apologizing over and over, but trying to defend the old beast he rode as angry glares kept finding him. It was a pretty big risk rolling around town, especially a hospital, with our illegal bed rolls of the M9's.

We arrived at the hospital behind the ambulance, and watched as they wheeled Tig into the Hospital. Clay ordered Bobby to be his bitch and at his every beck and call until he was stitched and ready to go. Half-Sack was already on his phone calling for a tow for Tig's bike. Leaving Happy, Half-Sack and Bobby behind, we continued on with two extra bed rolls for the rest of us.

Aella-

Waking with a smile and taking a long shower, I felt more at peace and stress free than I could remember feeling in years. Something had happened with Jimmy's kill, for some reason I felt as if I were weightless and the world couldn't hurt me anymore. I felt rejuvenated and happy, and that was definitely a foreign feeling.

Max and I had leisurely completed our morning routine, I laid on a picnic blanket staring at the blanket of trees shielding me from the sun, Max laying beside me looking as if he was doing the same. That dog, I swear was something else, he seemed more human than dog half the time. After our morning routine, Max had laid down in the Shed as I had finished painting the exterior, and put last touches on the interior.

My phone rang as I was unloading the supplies from the truck back into the garage, Max barking at the offending phone almost as if he read my irritation at being interrupted. Seeing it was almost 1 in the afternoon, I was honestly surprised it had been quiet this far. However, I expected Gemma, Jax, or even Filip to be calling, the name on the screen had me surprised and confused.

"Half-Sack?"

"Aella, you busy?"

"Not really, but you are interrupting my peaceful day. Better be for a good reason boy."

Suddenly I heard Bobby asking to talk to me, "Aella baby girl, I need you to do your Uncle a favor."

"Yeah Bobby, what is it?"

"Go to the shop and grab the Tow truck. I ran Tig off the road."

Nothing seemed to be making sense at this time, so I stuttered before forming an actual question out of the millions floating in my head.

"Where the hell are you guys?"

"Well right now we are at a hospital about 2 hours from Charming. It was our run today baby girl. Didn't you know?"

Shock set in as I had no idea that all of the club was currently on a run, including Filip. "Uh, no I didn't."

"Well come join us, we will meet you at the hospital."

After writing down directions to Tig's bike, I hopped in my truck and rode over to the Club House. Piney was taking a nap as the other boys were working on the cars. Walking into the office to find it empty had me puzzled. Come to think of it I hadn't seen much of Gemma in a while. Making a mental note to contact my mother, I grabbed the tow truck keys and took off.

Filip-

We drove another 20 minutes before gassing up at an almost abandoned gas station, that looked as if it was stuck in the 70's. Clay's phone rang. The further the conversation went, the louder Clay yelled as his face turned red with anger. With a final yell telling Bobby to stay put, he hung up.

Things had been strained between Clay and Jax as of late. No one really knew why, but I had a feeling it had to do with the fact that Clay knew he was getting older, and Jax didn't like the way that Clay led the club. For some reason Clay was starting to act as if we were more about money and taking risk, instead of the brotherhood.

So after informing us that Tig had been taken by some bounty hunters, I could feel a fight starting between Jax and Clay as they argued on whether to go get Tig or not. I couldn't understand how Clay would even allow Tig to get close to the border. We should be on our bikes and already headed to meet up with Bobby and Hap. Not debating on whether to deliver a load of weapons first.

After Clay laid down his bike, and Opie finally talked sense into him, we headed to meet up with Bobby and Happy. Hoping Half Sack would be calling soon with a location to meet up with him.

We found a Gas station a couple miles down the road that was abandoned and waited for the tow truck to get here, apparently Half Sack was behind it. I figured Piney had been in contact with Sack since hearing about what had happened. About 10 minutes of waiting and cigarettes being puffed in silence, there was tension settling over us. Bobby and Hap had arrived shortly after us, and Clay had lit into Bobby pretty well. Nobody really spoke after that.

Suddenly the Tow truck was pulling into the area, but instead of the old man driving, my heart fluttered and pounded as Aella made eye contact while parking. Apparently she wasn't as out of the loop as I thought. Half sack pulled in behind her, explaining to Jax that Tig was being held down the road about 2 miles. My attention was on Aella as Clay asked about Gemma and Piney.

Her hair was in another one of her messy buns, she was wearing a thin, loose flowing tank top, paired with blue jeans that hugged her in all the right places. The facet that she wore this with her Army boots and fingerless gloves just made the style more unique to her. But what stood out to me the most was how she seemed to glow, with happiness and a sense of peace. Seems Jimmy's death helped her in more ways than one. She literally stole my breath, this woman looked more like an Angel to me right now.

Suddenly Jax and Clay started bickering again, i realized Clay was still debating on going to get Tig or delivering first. This man was getting on my nerve.

So I decided to point out that Jax was right, and that we didn't know how long they would keep him at the motel. Clay not wanting to hear that he was wrong, cut me off midsentence claiming that the middle of daylight wasn't how we laid low. When Jax demanded that Clay call a vote, they went at each other in an attempt to fight. I pulled Clay from Jax immediately as Opie held Jax back. Bobby blamed it on people being fried, and it being his fault, but my attention flew to Aella who was climbing back into the tow truck.

I watched as Jax noticed and followed her to the tow truck, slowly dragging on my cigarette I watched the smile break over Jax's face and the mischievous smirk break out on hers. As she started to pull out, Jax yelled asking if I was coming.

"To where?"

"To get this done!" Laughing I jogged to Jump on the back, grabbing ahold as I heard Happy yelling that he was in, jumping on as we left the driveway. Hearing Clay yell the entire way down the street, a smile formed on my face as I saw it mirrored on Jax who shrugged.

"Her idea, I swear." Looking through the back window, I saw her looking at me with sparking eyes, and I could tell a smile was on her face as well. My body warmed at the woman's courage and wickedness.

As we pulled into the hotel, we found the van with ease, followed by the room. As Aella pulled into the parking space in front, I realized we didn't have a plan.

"Whats the plan little lady?!"

She laughed loudly, hearing the tow truck shift into reverse we started straight into the room, "Hold on boys!"

Taking out the front of the hotel room, Jax, Happy, and I drew our weapons yelling for no one to move. Tig made some smart ass remark about this being his ride, and I drug him onto the bed of the truck. As soon as Aella saw that Tig was safely aboard, she flew out of the parking lot back to the rest of the Club. All of us laughing as we went.

As we pulled back up to the other boys sitting on their bikes, I could see Clay headed for Jax. Aella climbed down from the truck and stood between them.

"It was my idea Dad, don't you go at him for it either. It had to be done. There was no telling how long they would be there. From my experience, a patch job would only have taken an hour maybe two tops. Tig's warrant is out of Oregon, so they were headed out of state."

Tig suddenly piped in that she was right and I saw the fire in Clay's eyes deflate. Apparently when it was Aella, his anger was quick to disappear, but I couldn't blame him.

Aella-

Turning to see Jax still smiling, I hugged him while whispering into his ear.

"Don't worry brother, Dad can't handle that he is getting old and desperate for his retirement fund."

Pulling back I saw Jax nod in understanding, and saw him relax with my presence.

Walking over to Tig I hugged him next, "You aren't supposed to be hurting yourself Tiggy. It makes me worry." Seeing the damage done to his face I clucked my tongue in disapproval, "And did you have to provoke them too? Shesh."

He laughed and hugged me again.

Finally I turned to tell the boys that I would handle getting Tig back to St. Thomas and that they could finish their run. Jax nodded as he followed the rest of the boys back to their bikes. After getting Tig into the passenger seat, I walked around to my side and was surprised to see Filip waiting for me.

"Ye are one crazy woman lass. Ye know that?"

"Well, its better to do it and ask forgiveness than regret not doing it all. Plus I knew you were right, even if Clay wasn't going to listen. He is getting more and more stubborn about the wrong things."

Filip took a step too close, his proximity had my mind reeling and going blank at the same time. I so wanted him to kiss me, to hold me close. But I knew now wasn't the time. That didn't keep my breath from catching as he pulled me into a hug, or keep my body from melting into his. My arms behind his neck, my entire body crammed to his and fitting perfectly there, my head in the crook of his neck. Feeling bold and knowing he would think about it the rest of the ride, which was what I wanted, I placed a chaste kiss on the underside of his jaw. Only allowing him to feel my lips move against his skin for a brief second, and then pulling back. I laughed as his mouth had fallen open, and his arms hung at his sides.

"See you when you get back?" I was shocked I asked, but I knew I meant it. We needed to talk, and I wanted his company tonight.

"Definitely Angel."

I responded with a small smile as I pulled out of the lot and headed to St. Thomas. Blushing a little as Tig face was lit with a knowing smile. I cranked the volume on the radio, only causing him to laugh at me.


	15. Chapter 15

Filip-

We pulled through Charming a couple of hours after the sun had gone down, which meant it wasn't too late for me to go to Aella's. Pulling away from the Jax at the grocery store, I picked up something to cook. I decided I'd make my famous shepard's pie and bring a bottle of Jameson. Pulling into her driveway I was greeted with the brute of a dog she had. As I pulled my gloves off and laid my helmet down, Max licked my hand while I retrieved my groceries.

"Nah it ain't for ye, ye mangy mutt." He followed me up to the front door and sat with me as I knocked. Aella answered the door almost instantly, I had to swallow the moan that had an urge to escape. Those blue eyes were sparkling again, her hair was flowing around her looking as silky as ever, and she had changed into a yoga sweatshirt that hung low on her shoulders, giving me a small peak at cleavage and two straps from her bra. She paired that with comfortable sweats that hugged her ass beautifully, but hung loose on her toned legs, but her cute feet poking out from underneath them only completed the picture. I could get used to coming home to this all the time, if she would allow me.

Suddenly remembering she hated attention, I lifted the bags in my hands. "How does Shepard's pie and potatoes sound with some Jameson?"

She smiled small but brightly and nodded standing to the side to allow me to enter. I made my way to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients, while allowing a minute to find all her pots and pans as well as utensils. Getting to work, I watched in the side of my vision as she lounged back into the sofa with Max and peeked around the TV every now and then to see what I was doing. After a few minutes, I had zoned into dinner completely wanting her to love what I made, needing her approval and for her relaxation to continue.

Suddenly I was surprised from my focus as she spoke directly behind me, "Can I help?" I turned with a mixing tool in one hand and a kitchen towl in the other. She looked shy and apprehensive, "With anything? I mean I feel lazy watching TV while you cook."

I chuckled and shook my head as I turned back to what I was doing to avoid that shy and attractive look, "Nah darlin' I want ye to continue to relax. It gives me peace knowing ye are finally allowing yeself to."

She stood behind me still, fiddling with her hands. I decided maybe I could get her talking a little, maybe she would open up some with her relaxing state. "Ye could keep me company if ye'd like."

She silently moved to the counter and pulled two glasses down. Pouring some coke in them, she added a healthy portion of Jameson and laid mine next to my ingredients out of the way.

"Thank ye."

She took a seat at the island and gazed into the glass silently, I waited patiently to see if she'd start talking.

"What was the deal with the tension between Jax and Clay, seemed like it had been going on the entire run before I got there."

I nodded and started to slice the potatoes. "It had, Jax n' Clay had been going at it all day."

"They need to figure themselves out, working together won't work sooner than later, if they don't put aside their differences and focus on the club."

"Ye speakin' from experience darlin'?"

She took a breath, and I thought maybe I pushed too far. She surprised me as she continued speaking, "In the Army I had two commanding officers in my unit, one was slightly younger than the other. The oldest was having troubles seeing out of his scope with his old age, so they retired him out of being a sniper to be a commanding officer. His rank made him head commanding officer, but the youngest had been with us since the unit was formed. Making the oldest an outsider. We used to watch them bicker back and forth relentlessly about which way to do that, or when to do something, or even if it should be done period."

She was silent again for a couple of minutes as she sipped her Jameson, but I knew there was more.

"One mission went bad because of a bad call made during an argument. The oldest pulled rank to prove a point, meaning we had to act on it, even though every single one of us including himself knew it was a dangerous and reckless call. One of our guys lost his legs that night, the older commanding officer retired after that."

I stopped slicing the potatoes and look to the woman slouched in her seat. The relaxation was still there, but an old demon sat on her shoulders. Suddenly I felt many feelings at once. Almost giddy she shared that with me, Happy that she opened up finally, upset that it caused her pain, and mad at the foolishness of her commanding officer.

"I didn't mean fer ye to get upset darlin'." I didn't know what else to say to her. So I turned back to my cooking and allowed her the silence she needed.

After everything was prepared, I closed the oven and toweled my damp hands dry. Turning to find her leaning against the counter, I realized she had been watching me quietly the entire time. My breath caught in my throat as she met my gaze. There I saw emotions, no walls put in place, and gratefulness for the listening ear and the company. Walking to her, I pulled her in an answering hug and waited for her to melt into my embrace. As she did I bent my head to lean against her head, smelling her shampoo slightly. She smelled like vanilla and a hint of rosemary. It was a beautiful scent, and it fit her perfectly. As she pulled away, she maintained my gaze and leaned back against the counters.

"I've never spoken to anyone about any of that stuff, especially from that time of my life before. Thank you."

"Ye have no need te thank me darlin'. I should be thankin' ye fer sharing it."

"Filip, you do realize most of my past is dark and haunting right?" My eyebrows shot up at the open and honest question. "I mean, I keep waiting for you to realize getting involved with me isn't worth it and to move on."

Every fiber in my being was telling me to pull her close and kiss her with everything I had, to tell her why I stayed, to show her I wasn't going anywhere. I knew she wasn't ready for that yet. So instead I worked up the courage to speak my honesty instead.

"What ye did for meh yesterday, killin' fer me. Even if that wasn't ye only reason behind it, that was somethin' I usually woulda been upset about. My pride woulda had a fit normally. But when it was ye, all I could do was feel grateful. Ye did somethin' fer me that nobody ever has Aella. Just ye presence calms my ragin' mind. Ye need to get it through ya thick skull I ain't going nowhere, cause there ain't anywhere else I'd rather be."

She turned and used the island to separate us as she took her seat. Taking a long sip from her cup, she looked back with a shy and questioning look.

"Wasn't there an after party?"

"Ye, just like every other run, except Jax and I rode down as soon as we dropped off te merchandise. Guess both of us had reason te come home insteada partyin'." Meeting my eyes with shock on her face, she knew what she was pressing for, but I knew I had accomplished what I wanted by giving that answer. She clearly wasn't expecting that to come out of my mouth. Slowly I saw the feelings she attempted to hide rising to her eyes. As she must have known her defenses had been knocked down, she looked away.

"I know ye need to move slow, I know ye probably don't even trust me yet. But ye gotta be honest wit yerself and admit that ye want to try this." Still silent and keeping her eyes from mine, I started to second guess myself. "Unless ye changed ye mind….."

Finally she stood from her chair, walking to stand directly in front of me. "I don't think, even if I tried, I could change my mind about you Filip." Being as close as she was, I again felt the most powerful yearning for her touch, her body, and her heart. She reached behind my back, brushing my waist as she went, and grabbed her cigarettes. Before I knew what had happened, she had moved outside with Max and was smoking on the swing.

Aella-

I knew I was playing dirty, but I couldn't help the way I wanted to see his reaction. The way his body reacted around mine, the way he responded to every touch, reminded me of how my body reacted and reminded me that I'd never felt this with anyone else before. I wondered if both of our bodies would continue to react this way, even after we finally grew closer. I had a feeling we would never get used to the sparks, and the sparks would never fade between us. So playing a trick I knew was dirty, I grabbed my cigarettes and rushed outside to the swing. Looking back in the side window, I laughed as he hadn't moved.

Then suddenly, the sliding glass door was being opened, and he was making his way to me with a determined look on his face. Soon he was standing in front of me. I stopped the swing so that I was directly below him, my face at his chest as I maintained eye contact with him. Challenging him to do something. Apparently that was a bad idea, as my entire body tensed in shock, he had slid his hands onto my cheeks and bent pressing his lips to mine. Then my body was flooding with feelings, and I slid my hands around his waist moving my lips against his. My senses went into overload as he allowed a hand to trace the bare skin around my shoulders, his calloused fingers on my skin sending shivers down my spine. As I pictured those hands all over my skin, he brushed my lower lip with his tongue asking for entrance. Instead of just opening it for him, I unleashed my passion for him and stood off the swing bringing us closer. As I gained my balance, I slid my tongue into his mouth and allowed our game for dominance to begin.

I couldn't believe how much I wanted this man, how far I wanted to go right now without taking it slow. How such a simple gesture could have me gasping into his mouth. As he broke the contact to my mouth only to brush his lips against my scar, a needy moan left my mouth. He responded by gliding a hand to my lower back and crushing my body against his, I whimpered at feeling every piece of him. As his lips began to descend down my neck, I began to feel my body tense. As much as my heart and mind screamed for this, I wasn't ready. Filip sensed the change and slowly slid back, allowing his lips to caress mine once more.

Standing on my own two feet again, but still leaning slightly against him, our foreheads were touching as we both panted trying to regain some sense of control. When I stood to turn away from him, he grabbed my wrist softly, "Don't darlin', please. Don't pull away." I turned to look at him and saw panic laced with despair at the thought of me walking away. I nodded and turned to him again, until I decided maybe we could start by not allowing myself to push him away after we do things like that. So I forced my body to sit back down on the swing, and waited as I motioned for Filip to join me. I was about to curl into his side when we heard the oven timer going off.

Laughing he stood, and winked at me "Dinna' calls."

I watched as he went back inside and tended to the meal he was preparing. Seeing him cook was a domestic side I didn't know he had possessed. Although, I honestly can't say it surprises me at all, the man's many talents were surfacing as I allowed more time to be with him. Then it struck me how happy I was that Jimmy had died, and I hadn't been kidnapped or killed as I expected to happen. If what I had dreaded the conclusion to be had happened, I would never have gotten a chance at this. A life with Filip, it shocked and terrified me, while feeling my heart with happiness at the same time, I realized my days could be filled with this. My alone time during the day as he had club business and him cooking dinner and spending time with me at night, of course we would share the domestic responsibilities as I loved cooking. I could picture myself being his old lady, maybe even considering marriage. Things I had never even conceived to be possible in my life. This one man, made everything I thought impossible seem real and at arms length.

Lighting a cigarette I attempted to steer my mind clear of Filip until he made his presence known, especially as my thought process was headed somewhere extremely dangerous. Watching Max laze in the garden, my heart fluttered and a sense of peace came over me. Max and Filip could very well be "my boys".

Filip's sudden presence in the swing startled me as I hadn't even heard the sliding glass door open. I laid into his side, ignoring the tensing of my body, and waited until finally I melted comfortably under his arm laying my head on his shoulder. Peeking up at his face, I saw an endearing little smile, reaching up with my free hand I again traced the scar on his cheek. This caused him to abruptly look at me with a questioning glance. Looking into the stars of the night, I started to speak, wanting him to open up to me.

"Are you ever going to tell me about that night? I know the facts but what if I asked for details?" Keeping my gaze on the stars I lit two cigarettes and handed him one. As he took it, I could almost feel his serious gaze against my cheek.

"Ye never ask about me darlin'. If that's the topic ye want te know about I'll tell ye. Everything." Not wanting to speak, I nodded.

"I had just finished up the last car at work, and was headed home te spend some family time. Mechanics was my cover for te IRA too. When I got home, Kerianne was gone and ther' wasn't a light in the house on. After checking on Kerianne's room I went to meh bedroom to find Fiona sittin' in a chair, Jimmy sittin' behind her. Jimmy had a nasty grin on his face, and Fiona sat smirkin'. I had suspected somethin' had been happenin' between te two, but didn't want te come te terms that meh wife didn't want me. Instead, Fiona spoke low informin' me that Kerianne was somewher' safe and that she didn't want me anymore. Bein' the stupid man in love that I thought I was, I actually begged her. Jimmy got fed up and Fiona watched as his goons held me. He carved the smile into me as he informed me that I was banned from Ireland and my family. Fiona watched te entire thin' and did nothin'."

Silence came over both of us, I couldn't believe Fiona would do that to someone she was supposed to love. More importantly when that man was Filip, he deserved much better and I couldn't understand how she would choose Jimmy over him. Deciding I couldn't allow him to dwell on the thought, I flicked my cigarette and stood, easily sliding onto his lap, my legs straddling him. Holding his face under my gaze I spoke slowly.

"I never knew that Fiona was okay with what Jimmy did. Never knew she betrayed you that way, but I honestly can't for the life of me think why she would. She was the damn luckiest woman I've known to have you by her side. I have never felt that betrayal before, but I can only imagine your thoughts. You are an amazing man Filip, never doubt that. You deserve more than Fiona, she and Jimmy were meant for each other. You have to believe you did nothing to deserve what happened." He broke my gaze, yanking his face from my hands as I knew he was refusing to agree. Grabbing his chin, using my strength I forced him back, "No, don't you dare. You listen to me damnit. I would do anything to have you the way Fiona did. For some reason, I want Fiona to suffer for what she did to you, but I know her being the mother of your child would keep me from doing anything. You deserve to be happy, not betrayed. You should be loved as much as you deserve, and I'm sorry that it hasn't happened. I want to be that person for you, I'm just terrified I might never be able to."

At that, I jumped back from the swing, as horror stuck me that I had just so openly bared myself to him. I turned my back to him as I could feel an anxiety attack take my body. Suddenly he was there, his hands on my shoulders, and his forehead pressed to mine. Telling me to calm down, to breath with him. I could feel his comfort from the places his body touched mine, and I started to focus on his breathing. With an effort on both of our parts, I finally calmed down. As he stood and looked down at me, I realized how much shorter I was than him, and I liked it. Still staring down at the ground, he used two fingers to raise my chin, his gaze bore into mine.

"Ye meant everythin' ye just said?"

I looked away again, but nodded softly.

His hands moved slowly, allowing me time to move away as I knew what was about to happen. But I wanted it to happen as much as he did. When his palms held my cheeks he pressed his lips to mine, tentatively first. As my body instantly melted into his, I knew I had to show him what I was saying was true, so I allowed all of my passion into this one kiss. Our lips picked up momentum, Filip moaning deep in his throat as I pressed my entire body into his, and started a slow and explorative battle with his tongue. His hands flew to my back to hold me in place, and my hands took a mind of their own as I slid them down his arm and back taking in his muscles. This man holding me, kissing me, acted as if it was the only thing he wanted at this moment, leaving me feeling cherished and loved.

I pulled my lips from his and led a slow and torturing path down his neck, while one of my hands slid down his chest, Filip moaned at the new caresses. As my hand landed on his heart, and I met his lips again, I slowly started to pull away, signaling the end of this embrace. Kissing him repeatedly with less and less passion so it didn't end abruptly until finally we weren't kissing, and our foreheads again were touching. This time my body made no move to turn away from him, only to stay in his arms, forever if he allowed me to.

"Yes, Filip. I meant every word, including my fear of never being able to get over my past and my issues. You deserve someone who can give themselves to you completely, I may not be that person."

He broke away from my forehead only to look me in the eye, while holding my cheek in one hand and waist in my other. I had honestly never expected Filip to have this loving and careful side to him, the big bad biker Scot was no where to be seen, the Scottish lover surrounded me in a caring gaze.

"Ye are worth the wait Aella, I'm ruined fer anyone else anyways. There were plenty a times to take up other women, I know ye know there was. Not once could I accept wit' te thought of ye in my head. I don't know what ye want me to do Aella, but I want to be there fer ye. I care about ye a lot, and it scares me as well."

I wanted to believe him, to have faith in him, the fact that he was willing to admit that he cared for me should have been enough. But all the hurt and scars still fresh on my heart had me arguing with myself. Doubts crept in, I'd only get hurt again, he'd die right when I got close, he won't stick around when he finds out what your nightmares are about. All of these doubts swirling in my head but all I could focus on was his warmth, as we were still in an embrace. My fluttering heart as he still bore into my eyes, and his pleading look of honesty.

"If anything were to ever happen to you Filip, I don't think I could bare it."

"Same fer ye Darlin'. It'd kill me."

"Just promise you'll be safe, and stick with me. Promise you won't run when you learn deeper things about me."

"I promise Aella, I ain't goin' nowhere."

Max broke the moment by scratching on the door, and whining in his "It's time to eat" voice.

Filip almost growled as he mumbled "Mangy mutt." I laughed as I grabbed Filip's hand and held it all the way into the kitchen. That night we ate dinner, talked about the club, issues going on, my recent nightmares minus the details, and Filip again apologized for the croweater scene. Dinner was amazing, the man could definitely cook, and the relaxing after was a dream. We watched a movie on the couch, I honestly couldn't remember the title as I was so relaxed and comfortable in his arms, I ended up falling asleep almost as soon as it started.


	16. Chapter 16

Filip-

"Filip" my body was being pushed, and a warm weight laid along the side of my body. "Filip, your phone….answer it."

As my mind started to focus I could in fact hear my phone ringing, rolling slightly further to the edge of the bed, I plucked my phone from the inside pocket of my Kutt while answering in one move.

"Aye?"

"Chibs, you busy?"

"Nah Jackie boy, whats up?"

"Need your help with something. Wake your ass up, say hi to my sister."

I growled in the phone, "Aye, be at the club house in 30 mins." Hanging up the phone before Jax could reply. Letting it fall on the ground, I rolled back to Aella and curled my body around hers. Her head fit perfectly where my shoulder and neck met, as one of her legs slid between mine, and her arms wound around my waist tightly. If either of us moved, it would have been as one, we were so tangled.

I didn't fall back asleep, but I spent the time cataloging every curve and breath this woman had. Her smell, how she fit me perfectly. I thought about how this was the first time I had been content to just sleep with a woman in my arms since I could remember. Most of the other times, it was because I was upset and too drunk to perform. But I had never willingly just laid in with a woman in my arms, molded into my body, sober and perfectly content. This was a first, and I planned to go as slow as she needed, at this point even if this continued on for years I would be happy just to have her with me.

But being the man I am, I still had dreams of how making love to her would be another experience entirely. I hadn't made love to anyone in my entire life. After I had come to terms with what Fiona had done to me, I knew she never actually loved me. Therefore, I realized I had never actually been in love. Until now, as much as it frightened me, I feared I had already fallen for Aella deeper than I ever considered was possibly. Lying here with her in my arms, completely tangled into my body, was something I only pictured happening in my dreams. Now that it was a reality, my heart felt as if it could burst from the amount of love and happiness I had for this moment.

"mmmmm, you have to go?" She must have realized I hadn't gone back to sleep, as she mumbled against my neck, her breath against the pulse point in my neck causing shivers down my spine.

"Ye darlin', Jax needs my help. I'll be by after my shift at the garage, think we migh' be havin' some club business later, but I'll call if that happens. Okay?"

"You say this as if your getting dressed already, I don't feel your body moving mister."

I laughed softly, "Trust me, if I had it my way, I wouldn't be leavin' 'specially right now."

She rolled out from underneath my arms, and effectively ended our contact, I couldn't help but pout uncharacteristically and even whine a little.

"Ye want me gone that bad?" to add good measure I fake sniffed as I turned my back to her while standing.

"You're a horrible fake crier Filip. But if Jax needs you at 8am its probably for good reason. Now go keep him out of trouble for me. I know he is close to you Filip, he tells you things he wouldn't share with Clay. Keep that friendship. It will be good for you and him in the long run."

Dressing while she spoke and finishing sliding on my last boot as she finished, I nodded and turned for the door. Suddenly I needed one more moment, if not to prove to her how much I cared, then to help me realize last night wasn't a dream. So with slow moves, I stopped at her side of the bed, and bent down. One knee propped next to her waist and my right hand by her head, I leaned over eye level with her. Hovering above her I paused to whisper, "I'll see ye tonight Angel." With that I pressed my lips against hers, surprised as she responded instantly. Her hand in my hair and her lips molding against mine causing a needy moan to pull from my own throat, as I tasted her one last time before reality could break this. My hand cupped her cheek, as I pulled away after kissing her scar.

Every piece of me wanted to stay with her, to crawl back into bed and gather her into my arms. With precious kisses every now and then and the occasional food break. I could lay in that bed with her forever, and be completely at peace. But my life with the club, and the love for my brothers, would always be a part of my life. Even she was a part of that life, which added to how perfect we would be together. So after caressing her scar once more and giving her another chaste kiss, I stood and walked out of the house without glancing back.

Aella-

The way Filip had left me, his reluctance apparent in every move and last caress, had stayed with me for the rest of the day. A small smile was permanently fixed as I spent the entire day gardening. It had been a good time to plant as most of my vegetables were ready to be picked. So I spent the first part of my day picking vegetables and cleaning them as Max ran around the back yard.

The second half of my day I occupied by picking up some bales of hay from Oswald and spreading it along the shed floor, making sure to give it a good layer. After that I began moving my mechanic tools from the garage into the shed. Setting it up as the dream garage I'd hoped it would be. Once that was taken care of I went out to the local hardware store and bought a water pump, supplies to set up a sink, some electrical gear as well as generator and air pump. Extremely glad I had the foresight to buy a heavyloader Silverado, I smiled driving the tools back to my house and straight up to the garage. Unloading them, I called Max over to the house, I made a small lunch and gave him some food and water.

The last part of my day I spent fixing up the water, electric, and air in the shed. It was really starting to look as it had in my thoughts those many years before, when I drew up the plans. As the sun was setting, covered in oil, dirt, and mud my phone rang annoyingly from the truck. I considered ignoring it but knew it might be Filip.

The man had constantly been on my mind all day, every touch, every caress, every change of a word from his accent all would come rushing into the forefront of my mind randomly as I worked. For once I loved that it did, I finally realized I was no longer annoyed or confused by my feelings. Now, I was excited for what they held and what the future could be like if I truly worked on myself.

So as I answered the phone, and my heart sunk, I couldn't prepare myself for the news I was about to receive.

"Aella, it's Tara."

"Hey what's going on Doc?" During the pause that followed my question I heard the sirens start up as a vehicle left in the background. "Was that Sirens? What happened Tara?"

Suddenly a million questions flew into my mind as once. Why wasn't Jax calling? Did something happen to my brother? Was it Gemma? Clay? Happy? Or any of the other people that meant something to me now? Filip…Where was Filip?

"It's Chibs Aella." Suddenly everything blanked from my mind as my knees shook and my heart felt as if it cracked in two.

"Wha-…." Clearing my throat I attempted again. "What happened?"

"An explosion, the blast knocked him on his head. He is unconscious and on the way to St. Thomas. He's breathing, I tended to him until EMS showed. Just meet us there okay?"

My breathing picked up rapidly as my hands started to shake. "Oh- O- Okay."

"Aella, do you need Jax to pick you up?"

"N-No. I'll be there."

I hung up the phone and it slid into my chair. My body was in shock as well as my mind, and heart. I couldn't move for a few minutes, until Max bumped me with his head and barked. My own dog was telling me to pull it together and get to .

So without changing or cleaning myself up, I jumped in the truck and fled to .

Walking through to the ICU waiting room, all I could think about was that my entire world had just been rocked on its axis. That was how much I needed Filip now, after I allowed him into my world he became a part of my life, a part of my heart, a part of me. I didn't know how bad it was, I hadn't spoken to anyone else since Tara had called. The entire drive over here all I could think about was how God could be so cruel as to allow me all the near misses, and close calls I had only to allow me to find love and then rip it from me.

Dear God, please don't. I just let him in and felt his touch filled with love last night, I need it now as if it were oxygen to my lungs. But, I also knew it wouldn't do for me breaking down in the hospital, so I had prepared my numbness to set in on the drive as well. Until I saw his handsome brown eyes again, I would be a rock for everyone. I would be strong for Filip because I had to believe he would pull through, the alternative wasn't an option.

So as Gemma greeted me with a worried Tara, and guilt stricken Jax I allowed no emotion to surface, hugging all of them as I kept it together. As we sat, and Jax began to tell me what happened the doors opened and Opie, Tig, Happy, and Bobby all entered.

Before allowing Jax to tell me everything I needed to know one thing, "Can I see him?"

My voice sounded as numb as I felt, empty quiet and hallow. Tara nodded in the negative and I held my sigh in.

"He just went into surgery, they needed to relieve the pressure a little. We won't know anything until he comes out."

I nodded and looked to Jax signaling for him to continue telling me what happened. As he finished, I knew he wasn't telling me all but left it until a moment I could get him alone surfaced. I had a feeling Jax knew exactly who had done this, and that is something I definitely intended to find out.

An hour later, Tara had left to find out whether the surgery was done yet. I sat in silence staring at the hospital wall thinking about one thing. I hated hospitals, every time I had been in one had always been after something horrible had happened. Hospitals were my bad omen, and I had to hope for the light to shine on my unfortunate luck with them this time around. For the first time in years, I felt the need to seek out a place to pray.

"Can you take me to the rosary room?"

Gemma only nodded with an sympathetic look on her face, catching Jax's eyes on the way out I found my little brother close to tears. Keeping my face neutral, I turned to Gemma and told her I could find my way back when I finished. Waiting for her to leave I entered and was grateful at the empty room in front of me. Walking to stand in front of the cross, I bent to my knees and prayed for the first time in years.

I prayed silently every time I had gone to visit Max's grave, but they were always prayers he had me say before we got to our destination during our missions. This was a prayer I made from the heart, a prayer begging God for Filip to be spared. For God to take his justice out on me, not to use the one person in the world that I needed to hurt me. To even, if he was merciful enough, allow him to live so that I may finally allow our love to take its course. I realized that I also prayed because I knew that the precious moments I had with Filip so far I had taken for granted, and I no longer wanted to do so. When I ran out of things to plea to God, I sat there motionless with my head bowed, oblivious to the fact that a single tear had slid out of both eyes.

The need for a cigarette became apparent when a lone sob broke through my numbness. I stood and ran out of the hospital to the first exit doors, much the same as the day Abel came out of the toaster. But instead of finding a picnic table, I forced myself to stay in front of the hospital and smoke there. Knowing I'd have more incentive to get myself under control as I could be found sobbing any moment. After the first two cigarettes my numbness began to slowly creep in as my sobs became no more. Wiping the tears from my eyes, and smoking two more for good measure I decided it was time to head back in.

Stopping on my way to the waiting room in the bathroom, I splashed my face with cold water. Dabbing below my eyes hopefully to prevent redness from setting in, as I knew my face swelled when I cried like I had.

Finally resurfacing in the waiting room, I stopped right behind Tara who was in the middle of explaining what she had learned on Filip's condition. The boy's eyes all got wide at seeing me there as Tara continued to drag on, with educated doctor terms I tuned her out until she finally got the picture that I stood a foot behind her. Jumping slightly at my silent hiding, she turned to explain it to me as I cut her off with a wave of my hand.

"Can I see him?"

"Yes. But he is unconscious."

"I don't care, take me to him." She nodded and looked to Jax who sadly nodded as well. Following Tara out, I prepared myself for the sight I knew I was about to endure. Even though I knew my mask was strong and in place, I also knew it was going to be the toughest thing in the world to see him motionless, hooked up to machines, without any jokes, smiles, or his deep brown eyes gazing at me.

As I stopped outside of the door to his room, Tara looked at me with a sympathetic look on her face.

"Normally there are visiting hours but I'll pull strings, I know you won't leave his side. But in about an hour I'll send Jax in with some coffee and a muffin okay?"

Nodding I turned to open the door, taking a deep settling breath to brace myself.

Sure enough the sight that I walked into was something out of my night terrors. Filip was laying motionless on the bed, with a bandage wrapped multiple times around his head, his long hair bundling over it. His fingers had things attached to it, as well as the numerous tubes running underneath his blanket to his body. The machines droned and beeped behind him, and I had to force myself from running away.

Walking slowly to the chair beside his bed, and thinking better of it. I slid onto the bed and curled into his body. My head laying next to his, staring at the side of his face, my right hand laying flat against his heart, and my legs curled against his hip. I laid there silently, just taking in his still moving chest, and beating heart attempting to find comfort in the fact I could feel that he was still alive.

True to Tara's word Jax had come in an hour or two with a cup of coffee. I didn't move a solid muscle, but he knew my eyes were open. Instead of insisting that I take the cup of coffee, he placed it on the window seal and sunk into a chair.

My last conscious thought of that night, were the silent tears running down Jax's face, something I had never seen. When I wondered why he was crying while looking at me, I slowly lifted my hand to my cheeks to feel a river of warm tears coming down both of them. I had been silently crying since I laid down with Filip. Tucking my face back into the crook of his neck, to be close to him as much as to hide my tears, my crying led to exhaustion that finally took me.


	17. Chapter 17

Aella-

I woke up to Tara leaning over Filip, which meant partially over me, to change his bandage. With puffy eyes, and a painful throat, I could only assume I had sobbed during my sleep. Moving slightly so that I was partially sitting, I looked down to Filip. Again I felt the over-whelming need to cry creep upon me. Almost allowing it to win over, I finally moved to the edge of the bed and slid on the boots that someone had removed during the night. Grabbing my kutt and sliding that on, I looked to Tara who had been pretending not to watch me.

"How long did Jax stay?"

"He fell asleep in the chair watching over you two, I came in around 2am to wake him and take him home."

I nodded, and looked to Tara deciding whether I should allow her to see behind my mask again. She had seen that person many times, but I had to trust she wouldn't spread how bad this had hit me. So with a final decision I let all my hurt, despair, and desperation for Filip to be ok surface into my eyes.

"I'm going to go, spend some time alone. Let Gemma know if she needs me to call, but ask her to allow me atleast a couple hours of freedom before questioning me? I won't be home but I'll have the cell and the bike."

She nodded and started to leave before hesitating and looking back, "Please be careful okay Aella? Filip, Jax, and Gemma, not to mention the rest of the family would be devastated without you around."

I nodded slowly at her show of concern, not many people could tell when I needed it and when I didn't. It seemed Tara was more of a mother figure than I originally thought. Moving past her I made my way down to the truck, fighting the urge to be next to Filip with all my heart. I knew if I stayed by his side I would never be able to stay strong as I needed. Seeing him like that had pushed through every hold in my defenses, causing me to want to be curled by his side until I could hear his voice and see his eyes again.

That wouldn't do, I couldn't be that person, especially when the rest of the club may need me, and most importantly when Jax and Gemma couldn't handle that on top of everything else happening.

So reaching my house, I spent an hour with Max before grabbing supplies to be on the bike for the rest of the day. I figured I'd be back around 7 maybe 8pm. So I packed my money, and weapons in preparation of any blowback finding me, however unlikely it seemed.

Climbing on the bike, I set my iPod on a playlist I seldom listened to. This playlist was created for the funeral rides and the downtime after particularly hard missions. I started my Hans Zimmer playlist sliding my headphones in and checking the volume compared to the Harley's pipes. Satisfied with my ability to hear the music, I sped out of the driveway, headed to Max's grave.

I had decided I needed to visit Max, but take the long way. So I cut through three different cities and formed a slight hook in my travels to my destination. Giving me a solid 5 hour ride.

SOASOASOASOASOA

Arriving at Max's, and checking the coast was clear as I drove past his Cross, I parked the bike and slid my helmet off. After shoving my gloves into one of the side pockets of my army pants, I bent to his grave. Praying silently, I added a bit of dialogue of my own, begging for another chance with Filip and promising I would no longer waste it.

I didn't mean to, but ended up sitting and staring at Max's grave for the next two hours. My heart switched from being numb, to letting the horrible pain filled emotions to enter. Those moments when my mask slipped, I would cry into my hands while being curled against Max's cross. Allowing sobs to break through had caused my throat to end up dried and cracked. So as my phone rang, it was with a shaky and broken voice that I answered it.

"Yeah?"

"Aella, Sis where are you?"

Releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding I looked to the sky, "Jax I'm with Max. I needed to talk, just air everything out. Otherwise I'd be no good to the club or to my family."

"It's been 7 hours since you gave that message to Tara, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know." I went silent, even as I could hear him thinking at the other end of the line I knew I needed to get off the phone soon, lest I lost it again. "I guess I just needed a minute."

"Okay, well I need your help with something, can you make it to my house in about 2 hours?"

I had to bite my lip, I considered making an excuse but Filip's voice filled my head. _Ye have people who want to be there for ye, and ye need to allow them too. _

"Yes brother, I'll be there."

"Thank you sis, I'll explain when you get here."

"Alright, I'm leaving now." Standing while ending the conversation, I had already started making my way to the Harley.

Taking the direct route home, I made it in an hour and a half. Apparently I had controlled my emotions by speeding and carving my way through the mountains. Pulling up to the driveway, I could see that Tara wasn't home, but the babysitter and Jax's motorcycle were there. So as I made my way to the front door, I found Jax with Abel waiting for me.

"Hey brother," he gave me a side hug with Abel who gaggled up at me with big blue eyes. I followed Jax into the kitchen, after taking a seat at the table I was surprised as Jax handed Abel to me. As I opened my mouth in protest, he waved his hand to cut me off, "need to warm a bottle for him, and you haven't seen him since that day at the hospital. He likes you Aella."

I nodded as my attention was drawn back to the baby who had grabbed ahold of my finger, his small hand barely curling around it.

"What's the retaliation Jax?"

He turned to be abruptly in surprise. I laughed, "You forget I know how you boys work. And Since I know you wouldn't have called me out of my alone time for help for anything less than something drastic, I assume it has to do with what Clay has ordered."

His shoulders sagged as he sat the bottle in the microwave, starting it.

"Clay barely was held back from retaliation on Otto. Now with this thing with Chibs he is on a warpath. We voted to kill Zobelle. But I have a feeling it'll end with one of us hurt, or all of us in Jail. This man isn't like any other we have gone against, he's smart and has connections all over. He is basically untouchable, and I can smell the trap he has set for us."

I had stopped playing with Abel at Jax's mention of Zobelle. "You're sure it was Zobelle?"

"Yes, I've teamed with Hale, and he found out that the younger woman who left the van to be towed, was in fact Zobelle's daughter."

I could feel my anger rising, and my need to kill wake deep in my bones. But Abel chose that time to whimper in hunger as he looked up at me, effectively killing my mood.

"So what are we to do? If Clay has ordered it, the club is going to do it."

"I know sis, I just need you to work some recon on Zobelle. Nobody knows recon like you, and Zobelle has no idea about you surprisingly. I need you to find out what he's planning before it's too late."

"What about Juice?"

"He's found as much as he can on the guy, but everything is squeaky clean. Seems he knows how to cover his tracks, and has the right people on his payroll to keep him clean."

"Alright, I'll get on it. His shop's the cigar one downtown right?"

"Yea. Unser is digging up the home addresses for both him and Weston. So I need you to hurry."

"Got it."

I laid Abel back into Jax's waiting arms, checking to make sure he was feeding him, I slipped out and climbed on the bike. First destination was Zobelle's cigar shop.

The cigar shop was empty except for the short blonde that I assumed to be his daughter, she appeared to be cleaning up a mess in the shop. So I took my vest off, and left my weapons showing, as I made my way inside.

The innocent look that met mine didn't fool me one bit, this chick was a bitch cold blooded.

"How can I help you ma'am?"

"Wow, didn't know I looked that old. Your Zobelle's daughter correct?"

"Yes, name's Polly. Who may I be speaking to?"

"Last name's Stride, that's all you need to know for now."

She looked me up and down, and let her eyes focus in on the pistols under my arms strapped in.

"So I'm guessing you aren't here for the cigars?"

"No, clearly I'm not. However I was wondering if I could get in touch with your father? I'd like to talk to him about being apart of his League. I'm new in charming and was told he would be my point of contact."

Her untrusting eyes met mine, and I allowed her to see what she wanted. Letting false emotions surface had been an easy expertise of mine once I had perfected masking my emotions completely.

When she found what she needed, she nodded.

"You're in luck, they have a membership meeting tonight at the MCC."

"Ah, I know of the place. Who all will be there?"

"Mostly Aryan crew and some League members. My father is making his speech. Gets them riled up every time."

"Good to know. Thank you little girl." I sneered with the last part, and panic seeped into her eyes. But I knew even if she did blab to her father she wouldn't give a good enough description, nor did she know who I was.

The first person I called as I climbed on my bike was Hale. Telling him to get the sheriffs to the MCC as soon as possible. The second person I called was Jax.

"Where are you?"

"Hello to you too Sis. I'm working at the garage why?"

"Talked Zobelle's daughter into giving me some information. Zobelle is going to be at the MCC tonight, big Aryan crowd with some League members. It's a membership meeting, apparently riles up the Aryans. I already gave Hale the info he will send Sheriffs."

"Wonder if Clay knows yet."

"Doubt it, they still at the clubhouse?"

"Yeah."

"There ya go. They don't know."

"Okay….." He got quiet and I waited patiently, knowing he was sorting his thoughts. Something my brother and I had in common, we didn't speak without thinking. "You know if this goes down, I'm going to have to be there for my club. Which means I will be locked up as well?"

"I know, you want me there?"

"You'd risk going to Jail for the club?"

I groaned in frustration, "Jax, I may not be a club member. But each of you are my family now. I found a brotherhood I thought I'd never find outside of the Army. I plan to keep it."

"Then yes, you should be."

"Okay, I'll be at the clubhouse soon. Call me if they leave."

"Got it."

Hanging up the phone, I realized the meeting would start in about an hour, and it would be dark by then. Running home real quick, I changed into something a bit more appropriate for this and sped to the club house, making it in 30 minutes.

Jax was cleaning his hands with a rag, Teller Morrow shirt on and a cig hanging from his mouth. As I parked the bike, the rest of the club came out, everyone of them missing their kutts. This only meant one thing, they knew.

Not bothering to get off the bike, I left it running as I could hear Jax ask what was up. Bobby informed him exactly what I figured out. He ran to his bike, throwing his work shirt off, and started his bike up as I followed him, while he followed the van.

Arriving down the street on an abandoned house lot, I watched as the club members piled out of the van. Clay and Opie with Tig and Bobby following, made their way over to me.

Clay had a look of concern on his face, "Aella baby, why are you here?"

"They blew up Filip dad, you think I'm going to sit by?"

Jax shook his head in argument, "I told her not to, but she insisted Clay."

Opie stepped forward, a look of anger on his face, "You really think this is smart sis, you getting caught will officially label you as part of SAMCRO. Not to mention if you end up in jail or worse, we can't protect you Aella."

I sneered as my anger took over, "Listen you bunch of assholes, the Sheriffs will be here soon. I know Jail time is likely the result, but make no mistake I won't need protection. You got it?"

All five of them nodded solemnly. "We doing this or what?"

"Wait, we have sheriffs on the way already?"

"Hale called them, so either we do this now, or we don't."

Clay yelled for everyone to grab Aks, and Shotguns, I looked to Jax in shock. I had hoped he would have wised up with that information, but it didn't seem that would work out. Looks like I'd be spending some time in Jail after all. But honestly, I couldn't think of a better reason to get locked up than to try and kill the person who hospitalized Filip, even if it was with a ridiculously stupid idea.


	18. Chapter 18

Jax-

As I pulled into the garage parking lot, a few different feelings attacked my conscious at once. Anger, stupidity, regret, and worry. Everyone, besides me and Opie had been locked up that night, including Aella. She was currently being held at Central California's women facility right outside of Lodi. Knowing the type of people who were imprisoned there had me gritting my teeth. But I had just visited her, as she was allowed visitation hours unlike the boys, and she had seemed to be taking it pretty well. She asked about Filip, who remained unconscious, and I could see the tear she attempted to wipe away. Apparently the other female inmates had known better from day one to stay away from the ex-Army sniper. That thought filled me with pride as I greeted Opie at the garage.

It was up to me and Opie to hold down the Club and the garage. Piney had come down from the cabin to help out, but even with our extra help and the prospects, work was piling up.

Gemma had been absolutely livid when she had found out about everyone's incarceration, including Aella. She had been beside herself when she found out what my sister had done, it had taken two days for her to show up to the garage and finally agree to help out.

Opie came up to me with a defeated posture, "Hows Aella?"

"She's good brother, no problems so far. Apparently the inmates refuse to be in the same block as her, afraid of her past I suppose."

He smiled, and I could see the pride on his face as well. "That's our girl right?"

"Yes that is brother. I would just hate to explain to Filip what happened, and why she wasn't there when he woke up."

Opie nodded as a look of despair came over his face, "As much as I hope he wakes soon, I'd like for her to be out for it."

"Yea, I know."

At that time, my cell phone rang, after pulling it out I looked at the screen to see Tara's number.

"Hey what's up?"

"Chibs is awake, and there is an Irish woman in his room. He looks like he needs to be rescued. Wanna make your way over?"

"Yeah, be there in a minute."

I yelled for Opie to follow me as I made my way to my motorcycle, Fiona being in town meant that she had apparently heard Aella was locked up. I wasn't about to let her try and win Filip without my sister having a chance to fight. Sending a text to Gemma to meet us, I sped out of the club house with Opie right behind me.

Fiona sat at the chair next to Chib's bed as he spoke to her quietly. Gemma was pacing back and forth in front of the open doorway to the room. Apparently Chibs had requested a few moments with his ex-wife. That came as a shock, none of us knew he had finalized the divorce when he was in belfast, considering it was so shortly after Aella showed up. With another painful sting in my heart, I realized how fast Chib's had fallen for my sister, and how deeply.

We waited for another 10 minutes, until Fiona came storming out with an angry look, almost barreling Gemma over. Instantly Gemma and I were in Chib's room in front of his bed, he sat there with a passive look.

"Wher' is Aella?"

"Ahem," I cleared my throat as I almost coughed at the direct question, the one I was hoping to avoid. But Chib's deserved an answer. "She's uh-….Well it's kinda a long story. But she's locked up with the rest of the club."

Chib's eyes widened a surprising amount, and his teeth bared in a sneer as he bored into my eyes. Fear and sadness quickly settled in my bones as he growled out the next question..

"WHY?"

So I sat down next to his bed, nodding to Gemma and Opie to stand outside, and I informed him of my promise to Aella not to tell him until she had gotten out. Those last few moments before we stormed in, she looked into my eyes with a deadly stare and told me to leave. I argued with her, but she threatened her staying in Charming, yet again. Even though I didn't think she actually meant to leave, I left anyways. But before I did, she made me swear on Abel and Tara's life that I would never tell Filip what happened, that she was to be the one to tell him. As well as not to bother him with current club issues until he got cleared to come home from the hospital, I agreed easily with that last part knowing Chib's would brew in his hospital bed instead of focus on getting better.

"Yer tellin' me that my woman made ye promise to keep everythin' from me until I got cleared from te hospital?"

I nodded, his expression causing fear to roll through me in waves. Chib's was deadly on a good day, on a bad day he was downright scary. The best fighter and killer we had, except maybe Happy.

"Please don't kill the messenger bro, you know how she can be. I'd rather deal with your rath then hers any day."

"At least her rath woulda left ye livin'. Fine. Get outta here, I'll talk te Gemma."

I could only nod and stand slowly, his anger weighing on me as my guilt felt unbearable. Guilt for getting Aella locked up, for making that promise, and for the pain on Chib's face by keeping it.

Before I could completely leave the room, Chib's called my name, turning to look him in the eyes I saw such deep concern, panic, and love for my sister.

"Is she alrigh'? Protected inside I mean?"

"You wouldn't believe how bad she has the inmates AND guards scared. She has them eating out of her hands."

He slowly nodded, knowing it was also my dismissal I left, passing by the window I watched as a large amount of weight was suddenly lifted from his body but a depression settled onto his face. Taking a shaky breath I realized I had never seen someone look so defeated, it was as if his world was locked up and he had been taken from his only distraction. My heart broke watching my brother in such pain, so I left before my emotions could reflect that.

Opie and Gemma were sitting across the hall in the waiting room, I took another settling breath attempting to get myself under control before I told them what had happened. When I entered the room, both of them stood and Gemma came to stand in front of me.

"What was that about baby?"

"I had to tell him about the promise I made Aella."

It took me a moment to realize I should continue and inform them of the whole story, finally Opie spoke up.

"Sit brother." So all three of us took a seat, I across from Gemma and Opie getting ready to tell them how I managed to not be locked up.

"The reason I'm not locked up is because of Aella. I never told you that Op, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't bare the fact that she had taken the hit for me, with the club, so that I could be there to hold the club and my family together. But before I left, she made me promise her something." My emotions started to take over again, as I had to fight back another shaky breath. "She made me promise that when Chibs woke up, I wouldn't tell him how she had ended up in Jail, as well as any current issues the club was tackling. Everything was to happen outside of his knowledge until he was released, so that he could focus on getting better."

Clearing my throat I continued, "At the time, I didn't understand how big of a promise I was making her. But just now leaving, and seeing Chib's expression. It was horrifying what I had done, and what I have to do. He looks so defeated and broken Mom. It's killing me."

Gemma stood from her chair to kneel in front of me, taking both of my hands in hers.

"You are keeping your promise to a woman who kept you from being locked up. It's that simple, not to mention you are keeping your SISTERS promise. That's what matters. It's better for Chib's this way, he will focus on healing, if only to get out and force answers out of her."

As all three of us stood to leave as Tara appeared in the hallway. I waited as Gemma went to speak to Chibs and I spoke with Tara.

After finally leaving, I found Opie waiting by the bikes smoking a cigarette. Making eye contact, I knew that my family being locked up wasn't only killing me inside, it was affecting my brother too. Opie had grown close to Aella in his own way, he considered her a younger sister, and hated that both of her brothers had escaped jail time. Not that it would matter anyways, we couldn't protect her where she was even if we had gotten locked up.


	19. Chapter 19

Filip-

It had been a day exactly since Jax had told me the promise he had made Aella, only after informing me that the love of my life was currently imprisoned with most of the club. Hearing those words, and the only explanation the poor man could offer, especially after dealing with Fiona's poor excuse of a visit, I could only suffer as the pain and fear came crashing down on me. Those feelings stemmed from the doubt I had building after remembering Aella's conversation from a couple of days ago.

_"If anything were to ever happen to you Filip, I don't think I could bare it." _

_"Same fer ye Darlin'. It'd kill me." _

_"Just promise you'll be safe, and stick with me. Promise you won't run when you learn deeper things about me." _

_"I promise Aella, I ain't goin' nowhere_._"_

Little did I know I would be blown from a semi-van the very next day, now I doubted that she would want to continue what we had started that day. That thought had my body shaking as my heart shattered into a million pieces, I had no way of contacting her, of apologizing for my carelessness, of being able to assure her I was awake and alive and not going anywhere. I had no way to find out if she had changed her mind about our budding relationship and it absolutely killed me.

I hadn't meant to, but I had all but made it clear to Jax I didn't want to see him around if he couldn't include me on what was happening with the club. Which was partially true, it would be a challenge to accept that he wouldn't include me in anything, especially if with his presence. But at the same time, I understood why Aella made that promise with him, and why he chose to keep it.

If I knew why they ended up in lockup, especially if it was because of me, which I was almost positive was the case. I'd probably be beside myself with worry and trying to break out. Especially since it left Opie and Jax by themselves to handle the club. But since I didn't know anything, all I could do was try

and get better while continuously promising myself to visit Aella first thing and get some answers.

It didn't stop me from worrying non-stop about my brothers and my woman behind bars though.

Aella-

Today was the third day behind bars, and it was still as boring as usual. I had luckily been allowed to raid the library for reading material, but a woman can only stare at paper and words for so long. Between reading, I spent my time in the yard running, and lifting as much as possible. Usually trying to tire my brain as much as my body so that I was exhausted by the time lights out was called. All this was an attempt to keep my mind off of Filip. I hadn't seen Jax since yesterday but I had a feeling that he was awake, which meant my brother was avoiding that visit due to the pain I caused him by keeping my secret.

All understandable honestly, but still I wished I could have been the first thing that Filip saw when waking. I wish I had the comfort of hearing his voice, and seeing his brown eyes before being locked up. But as things turned out, the only piece of mind I had was that Jax and Opie were out and safe while attempting to hold the club down.

The club lawyer had been my only visit of the day, informing me that they weren't setting a court date, and that my bail had been set at 6 figures, albeit still 30,000 less than the boys. Still I knew nobody that was free had the money to bail me, even if I did I couldn't contact a bondsman, and I didn't think I had enough to post bail for all of us. I'd rather serve the time just as my brothers.

It did help that the inmates looked at me as if I were the hulk and they expected me to go green and kill everyone in an instant. Not to mention the guards who most were post military and showed me great respect. I had a cell block to myself, which thankfully meant isolation, piece and quiet. As well as a showering area to myself, and a yard to myself. They had basically seperated me completely, the warden claiming it was due to the dangerous backgrounds of the other inmates and my only being locked up for felony gun charges.

So with the food being shitty, the books being okay, and my living space being nice and quiet I was perfectly ready to spend some months, if not a year to myself. Still my heart throbbed painfully for Filip.

Jax-

Gemma had been keeping to herself these past couple of days, Opie and I were attempting to settle the Irish and the rest of our contact's worries as to our brothers being locked up. Piney had his hands full with the garage, keeping half sack busy as well. But Gemma was no where to be found.

I had finally called her under the pretense of seeing whether she would visit Filip today or not, as I would be heading to visit Aella soon. My body flooded with apprehension at the thought, I knew this visit wouldn't be a cheerful one. I'd have to tell her how Filip took the briefing on her promise as well as Fiona's surprise visit. I could only picture her leaping across the table attempting to take her anger out on me.

So after a third attempt going to voicemail, I decided I would just get it over with and have Tara pass on the message I was sure to receive for Filip.

Walking up to Opie to let him know, I noticed he was on the phone. Silently asking who it was, he held a finger up to wait. Opie finally hung up after a few more words and sighed looking to me.

"Boys are working out protection, need me to set up a he-she tranny who was a rat against black, Juice is working on the other rat which will then lead to black protection for the boys."

I should have known Clay would call Opie and not me for whatever bullshit errands he had.

"That works out, I'm going to see Aella now. Be good to have some good news to counteract the bad load I have to drop on her. You going to be okay handling it alone?"

Opie nodded with a smirk on his face, "Go say hi to our sis, will ya?"

"Yeah."

We walked out to the bikes together, and at the last second before starting my bike I turned to Opie.

"Be safe brother."

"You too."

We took off splitting in opposite directions as we left the club parking lot. Opie headed in the direction to the porn studio, and I headed to see Aella. A foreboding came over my mind as I knew this visit would be particularly unpleasant.

Aella-

I sat on my bunk reading one of my favorite books I could find in the library, Inferno by Dante Aligheri. It was one of those books you read in the dark by a lit candle, whiskey sitting on ice and a cigarette close by. So I guessed in the dim light the sun casted through my barred window was glumy enough for a second read through. It was around 3pm and I had already done my daily workout and finished a third book.

A door opened at the end of the corridor, setting my book aside, I moved to wait in the corner my body tense ready to defend in any case of danger. Suddenly the footsteps stopped outside of my gate, and I waited, if it was a guard they would just speak to me. If it was an inmate, I'd wait until they opened the gate.

"Teller, you have a visitor. Brother I think."

Stepping out in view, I nodded to the butch female guard standing on the other side. Holding my hands through the opened square, I allowed her to slap on the handcuffs before opening the door.

Jax sat waiting patiently at one of the visitation tables, his shoulders tense. I knew he was scared about updating me, especially if my feelings were correct and Filip had woken finally.

Sitting across from Jax, I allowed the guard to shackle me to the table, leaving one hand free. Jax must really be scared he his face turned green at my freedom.

"Whats up Jax?"

"So, I'm sure you've guessed by now, but there is a few things I have to update you on."

Laughing, I tried lightening the mood. "You always looked like someone kicked your puppy when you really didn't want to tell Gemma something."

He graced the joke with a small smirk, "Filip is awake. Didn't take too kindly to your promise, but he understands I suppose. Won't see me with not being allowed into club business, only talks to Gemma. And also he had a visitor when he woke up, Fiona. She's gone, apparently whatever he told her made her angry and storm out of Cali."

Jax refused to look me in the eye as he blurted all this out.

"Fiona was here? In Charming? In. Filip's. Room?"

Again looking at something invisible on the wall behind my head, he slowly nodded.

I chuckled, "Well I'll be damned if she made an attempt after he gets blown up, and Jimmy dies. Interesting."

Jax looked at me then, a shocked and horrified expression on his face. "I'm not going to eat you Jax, I knew you'd be scared to tell me all this. Didn't expect Fiona though, that was a shock I must admit."

Jax swallowed slowly, as relief seeped into his face. "Okay, you know sis, I don't think Mom has ever scared me as much as you do."

I laughed again, until my body fell as my heart broke again thinking of Filip. "How is he Jax?"

"He is completely torn, and broken. Physically and mentally Aella. That man needs you like oxygen. I've never seen him deflate completely, even after confessing to the club what Jimmy did to him and his family in ireland when he first joined SAMCRO. You must have really broke through to that man's heart, cause I wanted to cry watching him get depressed. I haven't seen him since, but Gemma says he is determined and cranky, both of which don't surprise me."

I nodded, pretending that was all I needed to hear, as my heart cried out for me to give him a message of some sort. But honestly, as I'd been sitting in this prison, a small part of my defenses kept asking me silently if I wanted to get further involved with him. If I really wanted to put myself through the hurt I felt that first night I visited him in the hospital.

"What about the rest of the boys? Any news on protection?"

"Op is taking care of some business to tie that up. Apparently they got something going with black."

"Good. Talked to Rosen, he says that the court date isn't being set and bail is higher for the boys than it is for me. Guess we are stuck right?"

"Looks that way sis, but we are working on it. I promise."

I nodded, hearing the guard yell out 5 minutes left for my visit.

"Listen, I'm sure you thought I would give you a message to Filip. Honestly, I want to but I have no clue as to what to say. So just promise me that you boys will be careful?"

"We promise sis, you stay safe in here okay?"

"Yeah yeah."

At that I motioned for the guard, as Jax stood to leave. Giving him one last glance, I walked back to my cell to get back to my reading.

Jax-

Starting the journey back to Charming I couldn't help but think about how much easier that visit had turned out to be than I thought it would. Honestly, she took all the information with ease. Laughing I realized maybe my sister was meant to be SAMCRO after all. She was tougher at times than me and Gemma put together.

Making my way back into the club, I saw Opie's bike still gone. He must have headed home to his wife, and kids after he took care of the hit. As I pulled my phone out to call Tara and see if her shift was done, my phone started to ring. Looking at the Caller ID I saw it was Gemma.

"Mom?"

"Hey baby, where are you?"

"Club house, which makes me question where the hell you have been all day? Did you even visit Chibs?"

"No sweetie, I've been with Abel trying to get something done. Which as it turns out, I just did. Oswald posted bail, the boys will be out tonight, Aella will be out tomorrow."

My heart dropped as did my jaw, "W-What? How did you convince him to do that?"

"His daughter apparently did, after seeing me almost break down. At first he refused, but he just came to the house and told me he had posted it with Rosen."

"That's amazing Mom."

"Yeah sweetie, so I'll be over soon and we can wait."

"Okay."

I called Tara to inform her of the club being bailed, letting her know she could meet me here or home when I got done seeing them. She agreed to meet me at the club house, so with a cup of jack and a cigarette, I waited patiently for my club to be whole again. Or partially at least.

About 4 hours later, close to midnight, the black van rolled up to the lot. Tara and I sat on one side of the pinic table, as Gemma and Piney sat on the other. All four of us nursing stiff drinks waiting. The sight of the van was a welcoming one, and after hugging everybody and Clay agreeing to wait for Church until tomorrow morning, the boys all took a celebratory shot and left for sleep or home.

As I rode in the passenger seat of Tara's car, I couldn't help but feel the emptiness that still held onto my heart. My sister was still locked up until tomorrow. Tara must have read my thoughts, as she weaved her fingers through mine and kissed the back of my hand.

"Tomorrow Jax, Tomorrow."

"I know."

We pulled into the driveway to find our babysitter sitting at the table reading, Abel fast asleep. So sending the babysitter home, we both crawled into bed fully clothed, curled around each other and let sleep take us.


	20. Chapter 20

Aella-

I was headed to my breakfast chow time when a guard pulled me aside, telling me I had to follow her back to the Warden's office. I knew I wasn't in any kind of trouble, but I became puzzled anyways. Walking through the door I was surprised to see Rosen shaking her hand. That's when I noticed the pile of clothes and the keys to my harley sitting on a chair.

" , you are being released. Seems someone was charitable enough to post your bail yesterday. Your attorney here has a few belongings of yours as well as your motorcycle out front."

I nodded, shaking her hand, and making a haste getaway to the restroom to change. After turning in all my possessions from my cell, I received my wallet and other things that had been confiscated that night. As the exit door was in front of me, I shook the Harley keys in my hand and pushed through as a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. Free again.

Rosen gave me a half hug, and stepped aside so that I could finally take in my boy waiting to be ridden again.

"How did you get him up here?"

"Borrowed Teller Morrow's tow truck myself. The boys were in church, didn't want to disturb them."

I laughed, he was a good friend to the club and an even better attorney. I shook his hand again, saying my goodbyes, only allowed to leave after receiving my don't do anything stupid while out on bail speech.

Starting the motorcycle, and shoving my headphones in, I started some music and the bike at the same time. A shaky sigh leaving my body as I pulled out of the Jail parking lot, only turning to flick off the watch towers for good measure. I opened him up as soon on country road and flew through the mountains on my way back home. The entire drive there, I was debating on seeing Filip first or not.

As I neared Charming, I knew I didn't want to go to see Filip or the Club house just yet, I wanted to see Max and my house maybe clean up a little since I was sure I was still covered in Jail grime.

After rolling around on the floor and eventually just cuddling Max for a solid hour, I finally rose up from the ground and headed to shower. Setting the shower to full blast at its hottest temp, I waited for the steam to fill the bathroom. Stripping down to my naked self, I stepped into the shower and felt the last few days melt away. After a 45 minutes soak, and a good scrub down I finally felt human. Toweling off, I leisurely took my time to pick out an outfit, trying my best to find something fitting since I had been in baggy shit for almost 3 days.

Settling on a black tank top, my vest, a pair of dark skinny jeans, and my riding boots, I slid on my kutt and grabbed my fingerless gloves. Climbing once again on the bike and heading to see Filip, needing to get the worst part over first.

Pulling into St. Thomas, I parked the bike but didn't move except for sliding my helmet off and lighting a cigarette. My heart pounded as my hands began to sweat, somewhere inside was the love of my life who had just been blown up, almost killed, and I ended up in Jail for him. Well if I were to be honest with myself, I ended up in Jail mostly because of my loyalty to the Club. But partially because I wanted justice for Filip.

Then I remembered two of Max's favorite words, he used to throw them in my face all the time when I was even a little fearful of what I had to face. _Aequitas _meaning Justice and _Veritas _meaning truth. Two things he and I had lived our military career on. Two things I had always planned on living my life outside of the military by. So with a last puff on the cigarette and a deep settling breath I forced myself to move into the hospital. Upon seeing the window for Filip's room I slowed my steps and peeked inside around the curtain.

Filip was sitting with a book on his lap, his reading glasses on his head and a cup of coffee beside him. The look of determination and focus as he read one of the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. It was a totally different experience seeing him alive and awake as opposed to hooked up to all those things and unconscious. So my heart felt lighter, fluttering and kicking at me to enter. My body warmed as I watched his hands move the page, and his teeth knip at his bottom lip in concentration. Not being able to stand there another minute, I barged through the door.

He immediately dropped the book as his gaze flew to mine. His mouth fell open as his hands fell limp on his legs. I slowly walked around the bed, placing a finger on his lips as he made to say something. Moving my hand to thread through his hair carefully, placing a small kiss on his bandage to pull back and look into his eyes once more.

A sigh left my body and I slowly moved towards his lips, "Filip."

Our lips touched, briefly staying idle until his hand came to the back of my head and he responded. Quickly the kiss became a need of assurance, that each was alive and free, that this was still a blooming relationship, and I knew he had allowed his doubts to brew about me coming back to him. So in this kiss, I reminded him of my love, my need for him, as I felt him do the same. Finally a need for air came, and I slowly pulled away while sucking his bottom lip between mine. He moaned in disappointment as I sat next to him and my hand slid into his.

"Ye know, I was terrified ye wouldn't want te continue. I kept rememberin' that conversation we had, and I knew ye were mad I got hurt the day after I said I'd be fine."

"It's not like you could have predicted that van was rigged Filip. It's okay, I promise. I'll be honest I had my doubts while I sat in jail too. But as soon as I saw you, I knew I'd never be able to keep you at arms length again. You scared me so bad Filip, I thought I'd lost you." That last sentence came out barely in a whisper, and he cupped my cheeks with his hands. Sliding the one closest, he traced my scar briefly and allowed it to recup my cheek.

"I ain't goin' anywhere darlin' take more than a car bomb te keep me from ye. I promise Aella."

He placed another chaste kiss on my lips. "Now, will ye please fill me in on what te hell is goin' on."

I stood to pace along the windows, knowing he was going to hate this, but knowing it needed to be done.

"I will tell you how we got locked up, and why, as well as how we got bailed out. But the club issues we are going to deal with I won't let them fill you in on Filip. You need to be stress free and trying to get better."

He snapped at me, "Ye don't need te protect me Aella."

I turned with a snarl in answer to his tone of voice, "You don't need to know anything about which you can't help FILIP."

His eyes blazed with anger, but he hesitated in saying anything else, until finally he heaved a sigh.

"I know ye right. I know I need te focus, but ye can't keep me outta loop completely. I'll go insane Aella." He stopped to make eye contact with me, the emotions in them stopping my pacing instantly. "Althou' I guess with ye company now it won't be so bad."

I smirked at him as I slid in next to him on the bed, laying directly alongside his body, as he scooted to give me more room and put the book on the bedstand. I slid my hand over his heart and laid my head into the crook of his arm, as his arm possessively came around my waist.

"I prayed for another chance to be with you Filip, I promise I'm not going to take it for granted as I have been."

He chuckled, "Ye haven't been taken it for granted baby, ye have been moving as ye can. I don't expect any change immediately, just let me hold ye will ye?"

"For as long as you want, I'm yours."

Filip-

Reading my book, I suddenly felt as if I was being watched. Not surprising as Tara had been keeping an eye on me, but usually by peeking through the window. So I made no move to see who it was, allowing it to pass as it usually did.

Suddenly the door banged on the wall as it was swung open, and my attention flew to the intruder. Upon seeing Aella, my heart pounded as my body flooded with warmth and my hands itched to feel her. My mouth had even fell open as she took in my appearance, and stood watching me for a second.

Her hair was down in soft waves, a little more curly at the end by the motorcycle I assumed. Her vest was over a black tank top baring her toned and tattooed arms to me, as her legs were hugged by a delictable pair of jeans. Her favorite boots were the last piece that made her feel like home. I suddenly realized I didn't care where I was as long as she was there, I would be home.

She began to move to the side of my bed, and I slid the book off of my lap to my side. Waiting for her to do something, as she sat next to me I began to say how glad I was to see her when she placed a finger on my lips effectively silencing me. First she slid her hands into my hair, I had to supress a moan as he kissed the bandage on my forehead lightly. Then she bore into my gaze, and I had sighed as I took in the loving emotions shining in her blue eyes. She pressed her lips to mine, in shock I waited to see if it was meant to be a peck. When she hadn't moved I slid my hand into her hair and responded with all the passion and love I had for her.

Feeling her lips move against mine, occasionally sucking my bottom lip in between her two, or lightly caressing my tongue with hers, my body was on fire for this woman. I mentally had to keep myself at bay, as I wanted nothing more than to crush her body to mine and make love to her on the hospital bed. I had dreamed of doing this for the last two nights I had been conscious, and she didn't disappoint with her actions. As she sucked my bottom lip between hers while pulling away, a moan of disapproval left me. She once again took her spot next to me and I knew I had to make sure she was sure about continuing this between us. Even if I was scared to death that was the last kiss we would ever share.

After speaking to her and having her curl up next to me, hearing her tell me as long as I wanted and that she was mine. My heart burst with love, this angel in my arms was everything I needed. As long as she was by my side I was fine. All thoughts of Club issues, Fiona pissing me off, and her being locked up left as a peace and loving environment settled around us while I held her in my arms. When she told me she had prayed for a second chance, I kept from telling her I had done the same.

I was in love with Aella Teller, and even though it scared me to death I would spend the rest of my life winning her trust and her heart if I had to.


	21. Chapter 21

Aella-

I woke in Filip's arms, a content feeling falling over my body as I knew he was safe and getting better. An even better feeling as I remembered being released from Jail just yesterday.

Suddenly I had to restrain from bolting out of the hospital bed as I realized I had slept through the day and night with Filip, my lack of sleep in Jail must have caught up to me. But I also realized this meant that my family had no idea I was released, so I slowly but quickly slid from Filip. Checking that he was still sleeping I slid my boots on and my kutt and grabbed my helmet while bolting from the room.

Arriving at Teller morrow only 15 minutes later, I noticed two bikes in the lot. That was strange as I knew the whole club had been released the day before I had. So after laying my helmet and gloves on the bike I made my way to the club. I saw Jax at the bar and Opie walking from his room, taking a quick glance at the clock I forgot to check what time It was in my panic. It being only 9am would explain the lack of members loitering in the club house and garage. Walking up to the bar and motioning to chucky for a cup of coffee, I slid into a stool next to Jax. He grabbed me in a tight side hug and held me for a minute.

"Good to see you free sis, hows Filip?"

In shock at the fact that Jax knew instantly where I had been, I stuttered a simple good.

He chuckled at my clear display of surprise, "You didn't think we already knew that was where you were all day and night yesterday? Come on give me a little more credit sis."

Sipping my coffee quietly, I noticed Jax had multiple bruises and cuts on his face, must have been a lack of awareness earlier, but I knew he had to have been in a hell of a fight. Setting my cup down, I turned to him while grabbing his chin and inspecting the damage.

"Clay?" I had already jumped to the only logical conclusion, and it was definitely past due, them brawling.

"Yeah, long story. Follow me out for a smoke, I'll fill you in?"

I nodded, after seeing Opie take a couple of sips of coffee, I walked over and gave him a full hug as he remained seated at the bar.

"Love ya bro, you did good with Jax and the club while we were locked up. I'm proud."

"Go talk to him sis, yesterday was brutal."

"I know."

Walking out of the club house I joined Jax at the picnic table, lighting a cigarette and setting the still steaming coffee down next to me.

"Speak little brother, or forever hold your peace."

"First I need to know sis, where do you stand with me or Clay? I feel like I'm losing all my friends, and I need someone in my corner."

I stood to look him directly in the eye, getting irritated with his constant doubting of my trust. "Jackson Teller, don't you get it? I'm with you, always have been and always will. For your information Filip is too."

"I had a feeling Chibs was with me, I just needed to know I had my sis too. This thing with Clay is built on a lot of secrets. I'm not sure you know about Donna, since you came after her death. But this story stays between us, not even Opie knows. Piney and I are the only ones besides Tig and Clay who know the truth. Donna was killed in place of Opie, after Clay went behind the club's back and decided that Opie had ratted. That ATF bitch, Stahl? She set Opie up to look like a rat, and sent him home with wires he didn't know about. Tig found them and was convinced Opie had turned. Tig was to kill Opie in a drive by the night of Abel coming home, they must have switched vehicles, because that night Donna was killed in Opie's truck."

"Clay made that call behind the club's back? Jackson that's big, you could over throw him with that information. Why are you holding it back?"

"I have more haunches about Clay as well. I have a manuscript my dad left behind for me to find. About how SAMCRO became corrupt and how to fix it. I learned some interesting things about Clay in that book. I have my hunches. I want you to read it. I need you to understand what's going on, I need to have one person I can talk to without secrets."

I nodded as he stood, to go retrieve the manuscript I assumed, instead he pulled me off the bench and pulled me into his arms. I felt the weight of his burden on his shoulders, so I tightened my hold on him trying to give him comfort and relief at finally being able to share that burden. As he pulled away, I could see the building moisture in his eyes, giving him a half smile I shook his shoulders.

"None of that little bro, I'm here and we will figure this out together. You hear me? You are NOT alone. Never have been Jax."

He nodded, a small smile gracing his lips.

"Now go get me that manuscript, give me something read while spending time with Filip."

As he left to grab it, I sat at the bench and continued to smoke. If Opie knew about Clay it would crush him, Clay was a second father to him, and that man loved the club with everything he had. To find out the love of his life, the mother of his children had been killed by the president of said club, behind the club's back. Opie would want Clay dead.

Even as I thought about Clay being killed, his decisions as of late, the way he spoke to Gemma, how Gemma acted around him. Everything pointed to Clay being unstable, and that worried me. Maybe it was time he stepped down. I knew one thing had to happen. I had to be there for Jax and keep him from doing something stupid, help him figure this thing out smart. I also needed to speak to Piney, and soon.

How come nobody had told me about Donna's death? It had to have happened shortly after Filip had gotten back from Belmont, because that was when I noticed a cloud settling over the club and the head of the table. That was when I noticed Opie's shift, his emotional and mental processing had been eliminated. He had even been back and forth between Jax and Clay as of late, and he and Jax had always been inseparable. Donna's death was like a kick to heart, I didn't even get to attend her funeral. I must have been so wrapped up in my own shit not to have noticed. With anger at myself, and pain for Opie's loss, I slowly stood to accept the manuscript from Jax as he handed it to me.

"Will you be available to help with club shit? I have a feeling it's going to get hairy."

"Yeah, I'm on the cell as usual. Just text me where to meet I'll be there. I'll be between Filip and the house with Max."

"Okay, and sis?" I stopped before turning away, a questioning look on my face. "I love you. Thank you."

"Always brother. For your information if I had been here when Clay let loose on your face, I would have killed him already."

Jax laughed as I slid the manuscript in my saddle bags, and headed home.

As I pulled into the parking lot, grabbing the manuscript, I started some coffee and attended to an anxious giant of a dog. As I slid the door open in my robe, having stripped for my shower, my phone signaled a text. Letting Max out, I checked it before jumping in the shower.

_Gemma's house for dinner 6._

Texting a quick reply in confirmation, I continued to shower and change.

Feeling refreshed I slid my phone into my pocket, made a cup of coffee, grabbed the manuscript and my cigarettes and joined Max outside on the swing. Taking a moment to breath a sigh of relief at being home, I slid the manuscript open.

I was a fast reader, always had been. So within an hour and half a had read a good 1/3rd of the manuscript. John definitely had a way with words, as it was well written. But the more I read, the more I questioned how the club had gotten to where it was today. John had been one of the founding 9 and the club today was way out of proportion as to what he had written for a dream. It seemed the only person I could lay any blame on at the time was the man in charge. That caused me even more turmoil than the reading itself had.

The very man I considered as a father was in fact a cold blooded backstabbing murderer. Shutting the manuscript I decided to head to St. Thomas and check on my love, as I knew he was most likely awake and wondering where I had run off to.

Filip was again reading as I slid into his room quietly. Walking up to him I watched as he sat the book aside, much as he had done yesterday. Sliding my hand across his scars, and smoothing his fallen locks from his forehead, I gave him a sweat and short kiss in greeting. Filip moaned at the contact, as I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

His hand caressed my cheek causing me our eyes to connect, his questioning eyes found mine to be tired. "Ye look like ye haven't slept at all, which I know isn't te case Aella. Baby what's wrong?"

"Just learned some interesting things, Jax and I have been talking. It's all a mess Filip, and I'm going to be there for Jax, but I can't help but feel I'll need you to anchor me down as I do it. I'm scared, I can see a bloody future and it worries me."

He smiled small in comfort, "I'll always be ye rock babe. Ye know I ain't going nowhere."

I brought my hand to lace my fingers through the hand that held my face, bringing it to my lips I kissed each knuckle delighted in his eyes closing and soft sigh escaping. I loved that he was so sensitive to my every caress and touch. Made me know he needed it as much as I did. When Filip opened his eyes he saw the manuscript sitting on the chair behind me.

"Whats that darlin'?"

"Something I'm reading of Jax's, to help put into perspective of the club what I need to do to help out."

"Like ye need any help figuring that out. Ye just being yeself does plenty sweetheart."

"I know, I just want to be able to help Jax as much as possible. So I'm reading that."

"Ye gonna let me read it after ye?"

I dropped his hands, and slid my hand slowly over the manuscript cover. It felt sacred, like I'd be sharing a part of Jax to Filip, one I wasn't sure he wanted Filip to know.

"That I believe, would be between you and Jax honey."

Filip must have seen my hesitation and put two and two together, as his face suddenly became serious. "Who is it by Aella? Who wrote tha'?"

"Filip, that is something you have to talk to Jax about. He needs to know you are on his side about things. Needs to know you care about him as much as I know you do. He feels like he is losing all of his brother's with this thing with Clay. YOU need to set him straight." I finished that sentence with a caress down his cheek, making sure he held my eye. "Understand Filip? He needs us, maybe after he hears that he has both of us in his corner from you, he will open up about these things. Until then, it's not my place to share. Can you understand that?"

His eyes read into mine, finding my honesty and love for him as well as my need to protect my brother, he nodded. "Ye are one heck of a woman Aella. He is lucky to have such a sister."

"I know, I try."

We both chuckled at that. I slid into my chair and started to read the manuscript as I watched him open his book back up.

About an hour later, I was sitting while pretending to continue reading as I was really going over my thoughts on what I had read so far. Not being able to come to a conclusion, my phone rang breaking me from my thoughts.

_Need you at Luann's studio ASAP._

Sending a quick text saying I was leaving the hospital I looked up to see Filip studying me.

"Gotta go, Jax." Standing I went to give him a chaste kiss, but his hand on the back of my head held me in place as he deepened into a passionate kiss that had us breaking apart gasping for air.

With a shaky voice, he let me go with one sentence. "Come back to me love, be safe."

"I promise Handsome. I'll be back soon."

Leaving the hospital, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts as to Filip's kiss, his parting words, the manuscript, Opie. Everything was causing a tornadoe of thoughts in my head, no wonder Jax had changed drastically sine I'd talked to him in Germany before coming home. He lived with so many secrets, so many ideas, so many devastating tragedies he assumed responsibility for. It would change any good man, but Jax had become an even better man and a great leader.

Pulling into Luann's studio, I heard Jax not far behind. Seeing Lila balling in Luann's arms, as well as most of the other porn actors and actresses outside, I knew something bad had happened. Waiting for Jax to join me, I moved to Luann first.

"What happened?"

"Our camera, and my laptop with plenty of uncut's on it were stolen."

Jax shook his head in frustration, "What the hell happened to the guard dog I bought you?"

"Look for yourself."

I followed Jax inside, and already smelt the small stench of blood coming from around the corner. As Jax suddenly stopped, I could see the source of the blood, the dog lay on the ground with it's throat cut open. The words DEAD BITCH were written in it's blood on the door.

"Whoever did this Jax is a psycho."

He nodded and went to meet Luann who had stepped inside.

"Georgie?"

"Who else Jax? Who else?"

"Got it."

"Lila is freaked, wants Opie. Can you call him?"

"Yeah, and I'll have the prospect come clean it up. We will pay Georgie a visit after Opie joins us, I gotta call Bobby get him here too."

"Okay, yeah."


	22. Chapter 22

Aella-

Luann had been pacing, only taking breaks to softly speak comforting words to Lila. I couldn't tell if it was a fake upset the woman put up to see Opie, or if she really had been that wrecked about the dog being killed. I had to admit, thinking of Max ending up like that had my teeth grinding and my fist curled into a ball. I couldn't wait to knock some sense into this Caruso Psycho.

About 20 minutes after Jax called Opie and Bobby, I heard their bikes pulling up. The dog had been taken to be buried as the blood had been cleaned up. I had photos on my phone to show the boys as evidence. So after Jax briefed them, I slid into view and allowed them to skim over the photos. I could see Bobby's eyes clouding in anger, and Opie's jaw ticking with suppressed rage. I think every one of use was going to enjoy this little moment of justice.

Allowing Opie to comfort Lila, Luann spoke to us about how Georgie had still been harassing the girls on the down low since the last time Jax had spoken to him about it. Bobby and Jax silently spoke amongst themselves trying to figure out a plan no doubt, as Luann turned to me with an analytical expression.

"So you're the infamous Aella?"

"And that makes you the infamous Luann?"

She laughed, and a sparkle reached her eyes. "Gemma speaks a lot about you. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't know you existed. Never getting a visit and all." She surprised me with a mock hurt look, that had me chuckling.

"Well if I had known the porn queen had such a humor I would have made a point to visit sooner. But honestly, I've just been playing catch up since I got home. Nothing meant by my absence I promise."

"It's okay, I just wanted to give you crap for not visiting your aunt."

I smiled, a genuine smile for the first in days, and hugged her. Aunt, I liked the sound of that.

"You coming to Gemma's tonight?"

She smiled as well, "Wouldn't miss it. Catch up there? Looks like the boys are on a warpath, you keep them in line and safe ya hear?"

"Promise Luann, it's a full time job but I'll try my best."

I followed Jax and Bobby out to the bikes, starting them up we waited for Opie. After a couple more minutes, Opie came out, and we took off. Each of us following Jax, as I didn't have a clue where we were headed, and I didn't think the other boys did as well. But as we pulled into the lot, Opie motioned for us to follow him around. As we parked, Opie looked to Jax.

"We don't even know if he is here, brother."

"I know, we need to come with a plan to take care of his body guard."

I let them talk amongst themselves as I thought of my own plan, after finally getting a little idea of what I would do, I slid from the bike and walked into the studio. Sure enough, I knew what the boys were talking about when they said body guard as I came face to face with a giant black man, who snarled as he asked who I was here to see.

"Georgie here? I sent him video on a scar fetish. Told me to come visit him."

I gave my best innocent look while twirling my long dark brown hair around a finger, ever pointed to my scar for good measure. Seems big boy likes woman with my muscle, so I played out my blue eyes with a little school girl stare as well. He nodded and went inside to an office to speak to Georgie. Using that time to pop my head out of the studio I whistled our childhood whistle, Jax came running around the corner within seconds.

"He's here, let me leave with the bodyguard before you do anything. Okay?"

"Aella, what are you-" But I left back inside until the guard came back out, making sure I held that same façade in the same spot he left me.

"Georgie is busy miss, want to leave a card and I'll be sure Georgie contacts you?"

Sure, decided to wing it I made to look through my pockets, then popping my lips in disappointment I stepped closer to the thug and slid a finger down his chest.

"Oops, I left it in my car, want to come with me and I'll give you one before I leave?"

He looked like he was considering It, so to lay it on thick I added with a pout, "A gentleman always walks the ladies out to their cars right?" Giving him a wink, I turned and slowly walked out. Adding a sashay to my hips, I peeked around my shoulder to see him in a trance as he followed. I had to stifle my laugh at it being so easy, but as soon as I had him around the corner of the studio I knew the boys would be sneaking in.

Turning around as he started to ask where my car was, I put the pressure on the back of my heels, crouching low, and swung a roadhouse in midair effectively knocking him next to his temple. Out cold, the brute feel to the ground and I smiled victoriously.

"Night Night mr. Giant man."

I walked back into the studio to see Opie with his foot crushing the man's neck, Jax telling him to wait and Bobby grabbing the Studio's stolen laptop.

"He is out cold. Where is the camera Georgie?" I bent down so he could see my dead serious expression and waited for him to spill the beans.

"Its around the corner set up in room 4."

I went to go retrieve the camera, seeing Jax drop Georgie's laptop into the fish tank, I smiled. When I came back, Opie no longer had his foot on Georgie's throat, and I held up the cameras to signal success.

"Lets go boys."

So we headed to the bikes, and I strapped the camera down with a bungee waiting for Jax to slid the Laptop in his saddle bags. We left as I saw the brute stumbling back into the studio, I laughed as the adrenaline rush started to fade, that felt damn good. No wonder these boys loved the club.

After assuring Luann that Georgie's transfer of the uncut shots were unsuccessful, and waiting for Opie to once again comfort Lila, I leaned against the muscle and smoked a cigarette. Today made me realize how much I'd love to be fully patched into SAMCRO, maybe I would mention it to Jax later. After all I did want to share my thoughts on everything I had read so far with his father's manuscript.

Opie appeared about 10 minutes later, we all climbed on our bikes and rode to the club house in formation. It felt good to do that as well, I could feel the love and brotherhood surrounding me on two wheels. The feeling almost as good as carving up the mountains on the way to see Max. Which reminded me I needed to visit soon, It had been awhile.

But first, it looked like we would be visiting black for a friendly warning, after all Clay and the others were currently attempting to lock down a gun deal for the Chinese so that they could take back their land. I didn't think it was up to us personally, honestly the turf wars going on will continue to do so, but a peace treaty between the two would settle any issues from blowing back in Charming. After all that's what SAMCRO was about right? Not running guns, but providing safety for Charming and the small town folks.

Walking into the small town bar, I began to have an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't pinpoint my uneasiness, so I followed the boys leading up the back of the group. My hands itched to pull my weapon, but I settled for resting my hands on the wholes for the arms in my vest. Letting my pistols brush against my fingers, I began to relax a fraction, however the uneasiness still grew the deeper we walked inside.

I watched Jax exchange words with an overweight bartender, something about the way she reacted didn't sit well with me. Jax looked back at me, and motioned for me to sit at the bar and wait. With a little annoyance, as well as anxiousness settling in with the fact I didn't like where this was going, I followed his orders anyways. It made sense on a level that I wasn't part of the club officially, yet. So as I took a seat, I kept my glare trained on the bartender, deciding I would keep an eye on her.

It was about another 20 minutes when I started to become suspicious, what Jax had to inform Laroy about would have taken 10 minutes maybe 15 tops. I had heard some commotion, but didn't want to barge in on a friendly spat, for fear of making things worse. So under the pretense of asking for the bathrooms, I followed Jax's previous path down the hall.

Seeing two Mayans standing guard at a door, I made to nonchalantly pass them, before allowing my instinct to take over and swiftly knocking both men unconscious. Immediately I slid one pistol out while silently opening the door, seeing a weapon against Jax's head, I slid my over pistol out and slid in. So far unnoticed, I knocked out the two men between me and the Mayan's prez and within seconds had my left pistol against his head, my other pistol waving back and forth between the remaining Mayans.

"Opie, Bobby, How are you guys?"

"Good, yea we are good." Bobby had a small smile on his face, as Opie was smirking.

With a small piece of mind at both of them being unharmed, I turned my attention to the startled Prez whose head I still had against the barrel of my 1911.

"Now, now Alvarez. Last I checked there was a truce right?"

"That bullshit truce is over chicka, if I knew your name maybe I could explain it to you properly, since I have yet to know who you are."

"It shall remain that way for now Prez. Right now what I'd like you to learn is some respect, kindly remove your weapon from my VP's head?"

He slowly turned the weapon up, and let it slide down his finger, both hands now in the air.

"Good, now turn to me slowly." I stepped back so that I still had the pistol aimed on him, and could keep my other aimed at his goons. "Now order your idiots over here to drop their weapons and take a seat."

Alvarez's eyes turned firey with anger, and embarrassment I assumed, so to emphasize my point across I released both safety's with a swipe of a finger from both hands. "I assure you Alvarez, I have no problem spilling blood."

"Drop em'….NOW" I stayed motionless as I observed the goons drop their weapons and take a seat on the other side of Jax and Bobby's table.

"Now, as much as I think we could talk things out, I think it's time we leave boys. Sound good?"

Alvarez growled with contained anger at being bested, "Next time a Son steps in this bar or anywhere in my turf, they will die. Mark my words Teller. The truce between Mayans and Sons is no more."

Jax chuckled, "Damn right Alvarez, but you enjoy your day yeah?"

At that I allowed the boys to walk out in front of me as I continued to aim my weapons on the Mayans, only pushing the safety on and holstering once outside of the bar and climbing on my bike.

The boys didn't speak, and I didn't wait for them to either. We sped out of the parking lot down the road headed for Gemma's, it already being close to dinner time.

Parking the bikes in line behind the Suv's driveway, and killing the engine I was suddenly surrounded with the boys laughing. Opie crushed me into a hug while lifting me off of the bike. Jax and Bobby both laughed harder at Opie's antics as I screamed for him to put me down.

"Damn Aella, we can't express how much we love you right now."

"Oh trust me, I know. I just timed the meeting. 20 minutes was too long, and Mayan's at the door didn't sit well with me either."

"Damn near saved Jax's life silly girl, but god if I didn't want to smack you for barging in. You scared me." Bobby held my face as he spoke, and I broke into a full grin.

"Yeah cause it's not like I CAN and HAVE handled myself before. Shesh Army career for nothing."

They all laughed.

The door burst open as Lila came walking swiftly down the steps, an angry expression on her face and unshed tears in her eyes.

Opie immediately stepped in front of her.

"Where ya going sweetie?"

"Im sick and tired of that stuck up bitch. That doctor is ridiculous. Going home Op."

Opie spoke to Lila quietly as Jax, Bobby, and I went inside to see the commotion. As we started up the steps Jax spoke breaking the unexpected mood change.

"Jesus christ here we go, Dinner at moms."

We entered Gemma's laughing.


End file.
